Documentary - Yes or No?

And to add to that, whenever I have lost weight and people start telling me how great I look, I want to disappear into the sidewalk. How weird is that? I'm ashamed I let myself get this way, embarrassed and don't want people to notice. It's such a conundrum.

This whole process is socially awkward for people. They don't know what to say. The only person who was really positive about my decision was my Doctor. Everyone else was reserved and quiet. And then there are those who try to talk you out of it. These are the same people who push food on you when you say you've had enough!

I think a documentary that hits on the complexity of all of this would be wonderful. It's not just let's have surgery and lose weight. Those that don't understand really do see this as giving up, giving in and making an "easy" choice.

It took me 3 years to get up the nerve to ask my Doctor for a referral. Easy? I think not.

:)

p.s. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR SUCCESS!!! ;-)

WOW!!

That was very interesting SweetRide1!

The emotional side of WLS is incredibly complex... as you have so adeptly pointed out! There are hundreds of studies that say the surgery is the easiest part of the journey.... but the emotional/psychological after effects are raw and very disconcerting!

Thank you for adding more depth to the question. It gives me a lot to explore in the decision making process!

GUY57

p.s. I've asked for the surgery for 20 years... and my doctor always said NO. I think he finally said YES because I'm almost on the verge of physical collapse!

The emotional part of this journey has been the hardest part for me. I felt like I was such a LOSER and that I just couldn't control my food, portions, etc. Crying myself to sleep, because I was so disappoint with myself. The only people the know that I'm doing this is my boyfriend, and my young kids. No Family, No friends. No Work. NOBODY! I'm not in a hurry to tell anyone. This is the most private decision that I have ever made. I might never tell anyone, even when the time comes. I know there will be questions. My head isn't there yet to tell anyone. I don't know if they ( the people in my life) will judge me, pity me, or be sincerely happy for me? When the time come I'll figure it out. I'm smart and excellent with people. I'll just talk my way out or in to the conversation I choose to have.

Hello jobear27! ;-)

Wow! That was incredibly brave of you to express. I admire your openness and I think YOU could be in front of any camera or group of people with your truth. Very impressive!

It is an interesting question you bring up.

Do we hide because of our weight... or does the world make us invisible because of our weight? I often say that the world sees being fat as unforgiveable! Any other addiction would be more socially acceptable! Crazy isn't it???

Thanks again for your insight my friend!

GUY57

It's not ok to make fun of so many "types of people" but hey fat shaming - no problem.. the "president" and I use that term loosely.. called a woman a pig... every day you see things about someone calling someone fat and ugly always accompanies that... Studies have shown little children as early as four years old don't want to be "fat"... you see society thinks it's our fault and usually we are depicted like people out of control ..stuffing our faces with pounds of bacon and fast foods so it's our fault.. we should have control. When I meet people I notice I get "the look". That look is the look of disdain and the look of disapproval.

So Guy57- truthfully I'm not trying to join the thin club for societal approval- I got over that years ago -I'm doing this for me and I truly believe that many people here are in the same boat. That's why it's none of their business why I'm doing this the fact that I'm doing this . I do really think however that a documentary would really be good for insight into how difficult it is to get this done and how serious you have to be and how you should be and have to do it for the right reasons! Good Luck!!! Jo

Welcome to the boards, Guy! And congratulations on your decision to have wls.

I love the idea of a documentary. I think what everyone before me is saying is so valid. Too often people consider this surgery an easy way out, have unfair judgements about it, or judge the person having the surgery unfairly. Because the surgery is enveloped in emotion, it is often difficult for people to communicate in a way that honours all parties.

I have told everyone in my life, and they have all reacted positively and supportively. But I told no one, not even my sister, until I was ready. Until I knew I was going to pass through the process with ease (after appointment 3 or 4). I was afraid this was going to be yet another failed diet attempt. Once I was confident, then I started sharing my news. I've had no judgment, no un-support. I have had a lot of curious questions and people making sure this is what I really want. Now that I am eight days post op, only the curious questions remain and of course the support.

The stigma is real. The internal fears that Jobear talks about are real. A documentary could really go a long way to shining some light on a real issue.

Thank you for your warm welcoming post oneatatime! ;-)

You are 8 days post op.... and you post this incredible insight into WLS?!?!?! You are a warrior my friend!

It's always surprised me that some people consider the surgery an easy way out! Surely if I could have taken any other choice than cutting open my body and rearranging my insides.... I would have!

I also wonder if being completely open to the world about your surgery is a lot easier when you have such a strong support system. Would it be far more difficult if everyone in your sphere of family/friends judged you harshly for this decision?

I have an incredible supports system at home and at work... so it's been an easy go of it.... at least so early in the process. That being said...I am definitely an open book in my life.... so I can't help but tell the world what I'm going through! ;-)

Thanks again for your insights oneatatime!

GUY57

I was thinking about what you said about wondering if it's easier to be open when you have such strong support systems. Yes... and I think more than that. I have such strong resolve. I am also an open book in my life, but on my terms. Once I resolve to do something, I will tell anyone. Either support me, or move out of my way! That's really why I didn't tell anyone until I knew I would be accepted for the surgery; and once I knew, I've told anyone.

I also believe people's uninformed negative judgements of me are sometimes not my business. They do not serve to advance me, aid me, add to my positivity, make an educated choice, etc. A well verse educated conversation, I will gladly engage in. Curiosity questions, anytime. But not uninformed negativity. I do not have room for that in my life.

So I think that's probably a lot of why everyone reacted so well. Makes sense? :)

And thank you for your kind words!!