Hi Again

Thanks. I will keep that in mind and let you know how things progress.

Barb

That is extremely frustrating. I too have the tendency to withdraw when things are not going well, and more often than not, that is the wrong choice.

We need each other on this forum. Others can profess support but without walking in our shoes I have found the majority can be very judgemental (just like this comment here)!

sending hugs!

Thanks Simplyb. I feel paralyzed...

I know that, that is not a good feeling or very healthy. Most of us, do not have healthy ways to deal with stress, myself included.

The following is from a book recommended on this site. This selection is about healthy ways to deal with stress. I have flipped through this list again and again when I feel like I can't move, think, or get started in anything (or need chocolate). I use it as a nah not yet, maybe, and inspiration.

The Emotional First + Aid Kit A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery Second Edition by Cynthia L. Alexander, PsyD

In order to move forward I adopted the following activities:

My go to since surgery has been organizing the house one cupboard at a time.

I picked up an online course (major time commitment), and sketching.

I am still not comfortable enough in my own weight to hit the gym by myself but have started going outside - my personal NSV!

I journaled the first month, upon rereading, it was shredded and composted.

I have caught up on some books on the treadmill at the gym, and actually fitted into a seat at the rogers centre.

I want to start doing yoga but that will take a few more pounds and confidence building. Hopefully the following will help you move forward, it did me.

I have done the pmr - don't be too hasty to judge, it is pretty relaxing.

From the book.

HEALTHY WAYS TO DEAL WITH STRESS AND ANXIETY

Aim to utilize a few of these great stress relievers during your week.

Talk to a friend or family member about your feelings.

Spend time in a social activity not related to food.

Go to a movie, play, concert, or sporting event.

Take a leisurely drive and listen to music.

Go to the library, mall, or bookstore.

Go to the park with the dog, the kids, a friend, or alone.

Meditate.

Use Progressive Muscle Relaxation tapes (see end if post).

Exercise.

Do some stretching.

Write down your thoughts in a journal or diary.

Use the computer.

Get involved in a hobby or craft.

Reward yourself for all your hard work with something new.

Plan a vacation.

Get involved in a home improvement project.

Do some volunteer work.

Doodle, draw, or paint.

Learn a new skill, such as a sport or a language.

Make a list of all the things you will do when you achieve your weight goal.

Listen to relaxing music.

Use positive and motivating self-talk--give yourself a pep talk.

Take a hot bath.

Do some research on your home town and do some "tourist" activities.

Practice deep breathing exercises.

Close your eyes for a few minutes and visualize a safe, relaxing place.

Schedule time for yourself so you don't feel rushed.

Simplify your life whenever and wherever possible. There is really no end to the possibilities. Any activity that calms you down or takes your mind off your stressors is a good choice.

The progressive muscle relaxation is very good - it felt funny at first especially listening to the sound of my voice.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

PMR is based on the fact that it is impossible to be stressed out and relaxed at the same time. Relaxation is the antidote to stress. Most of us know what it is to feel stressed and less stressed but seldom truly relaxed. PMR teaches you what complete relaxation really feels like. If you practice this several times per week for several weeks, you will be able to relax faster and will feel less stressed in situations that may cause stress for you now. Since stress is a powerful eating trigger for many people, think of PMR as a defense against emotional eating. PMR teaches you to alternatively tense and then relax each muscle group in your body. By doing so, you will learn to relax more deeply than usual. This is helpful during the holidays, a personal crisis, or major changes in your life.

Instructions: Read the following very slowly into a tape. Pause for 3 to 5 seconds between each phrase where you see dots. Then play the tape several times per week when you can find about 12 minutes to be alone. Sit in a comfortable chair in a place relatively free of distractions.

[START OF TAPE]

Just lean back in your chair. Make yourself comfortable. Place both feet flat on the floor. Rest your hands comfortably in your lap. You may hear noises, but they will not influence your experience.

Begin by stretching your legs as far as they can go... Relax... Stretch your legs again... Point your feet up, toward you... hold... turn your feet down, away from you... hold... relax.

Now, tighten the muscles in your calves and in your thighs... tight... hold it... hold it.... relax... Feel the difference... Let your legs go back, slowly, down to their original position... and relax all the muscles in your feet... all the muscles in your calves... and the muscles in your thighs... let your legs be completely relaxed... and now feel that wonderful relaxation coming up from your toes... up your calves... and your thighs... feeling nicely relaxed... very calm... and... very relaxed... calm and relaxed... just focus on your legs and feel your relaxation...

Now, stretch out your arms... make two fists... tighten the muscles in your fingers... feel the tightness... hold it, hold it... and relax... let your arms go down to their resting position... feel that relaxation... now stretch your arms again... tighten the muscles in your wrists, in your lower arms, in your upper arms... hold it, hold it... and, let go, just let go, let your arms go down to their original position... stop for a second, and take your time to notice that quieting feeling of relaxation through your fingers... through your hands...through your lower arms, and upper arms... let your arms go completely limp... take your time to increase that feeling of relaxation... very warm... very relaxed... calm... relaxed and calm.

Now, tighten the muscles in your back... now your chest... your abdomen... and your neck... hold it... hold it... let go of the tension. Just let go of the tension... Notice your muscles relax... take time to feel the muscles relax in your chest... in your abdomen... in your neck... all over your back... all your muscles feel nicely relaxed...

Now tighten the muscles in your face, first the muscles around your forehead, then the muscles around your eyes... make them tighter... hold it... hold it... now relax... tighten the muscles of your cheeks... the muscles around your mouth... the muscles of your chin. Make them tighter... hold it... and relax. Let all the muscles in your face relax, first the muscles of your cheeks, the muscles around your eyes, the muscles of your forehead... let all the tension drain from your face... let your chin sag if that feels good... take your time to enjoy the feeling of relaxation... very relaxed... and very calm... relaxed and calm...

Now breathe in through your nose, slowly and deeply, and hold it... hold it... and slowly breathe out through your nose.... feel the relaxation... breathe in... breathe out... relax...

Once again take a very deep breath, hold it... hold it... and slowly let it out... let go of all your tension... your frustrations... your anxieties... feeling more and more relaxed... relaxed and calm...

Now take some time to scan your body... if you notice any tense spot... take your time to release that tension... very good... very relaxed... relaxed and calm...

Now, take time to breathe in and out... slowly begin to stretch your body... when you feel ready... slowly open your eyes... and focus on your surroundings... you will be ready to continue your day... relaxed and calm... focused and attentive...

[ END TAPE]

Thanks for sharing and all of your support Simplyb. I really appreciate it. I have that book as well and refer to it often. I am ok though. You know, things happen for certain reasons and I have always been one to go with the flow and make the very best of every situation. I just have some moments when I feel devastated, but I get over them pretty quickly. I know the surgery will happen. I just have no control as to when, so today I choose to let it go. I've got lots on my plate to keep me busy! LOL! Thanks again.

Barb

I'm sorry to hear this Barb. Hang in there girl, I know you are feeling discouraged and down...but as the universe works in strange ways....everything happens for a reason. Just try to trust that when the time is right...all will happen for you.

Thinking about you...sending you good vibes and a big hug

Thanks Tracey. Maybe I will see you at the meeting on the weekend. I don't know if I'm going to go yet though, but thanks for always being there for me.

Barb

Go to the meeting! The support may be the boost you need!

Sorry....