Regret and Anxiety Post-Op

Good Morning Everyone.

13 days in...the regret is already starting to kick in.

When I was on Optifast other than the first few days... it was the greatest I had felt in a long time. I felt clear, energized, happy, and my anxiety was at an all time low.

I have panic and anxiety disorder.

Here we are almost 2 weeks post-op and I can't help wonder what I've done to myself. Why did I do this to myself?

I am doing everything by the book. Literally.

I'm sleeping half of the day because I'm so tired and have so much anxiety. The other half...I am up walking around, doing my pills and vitamins...getting my water and protein in...doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm at a loss right now. I keep having these crying spells once every few days because this is not what I expected. 

I just don't know what to do about how I'm feeling physically and mentally. I can't live this way that's for sure.

I'm sorry to be reading this.  Maybe you should reach out to the social worker at your centre/hospital.  Find somebody to talk to.  Understandably you're tired, you just had surgery.  It takes time to heal.  What is it that you are stressed or worried about?  You must be seeing some results from your hard work?  Does that not make you feel better?  Everybody progresses differently, try not to compare yourself to others.  When is your first follow up appointment?  Don't waste time going through these issues alone.  Reach out to your centre or family doctor or some help.

Good luck to you and big hugs!

I felt some regret after surgery and cried a bit. The feeling did pass once I got into the routine and started feeling better. I was exhausted for a long time though. The second thing that I wanted to say is that if you are on meds for anxiety (I am) it's possible you may need to increase your dose. Part of the problem is the malabsorption from surgery you may not be getting as much of your med as before surgery which can increase your feelings of panic and anxiety.

Meg~

Hi There, I am a nurse and know that any type of surgery is very hard on the body. Just take one day at a time. I really think the anesthetic has something to do with how tired you are as well. If you are feeling that down I would definitely speak to someone who you trust with your feelings. This is a very emotional time in your life. You are grieving for a part of your life that you are leaving behind. We all have problems with addiction to food and that is our drug of choice. I also have panic disorder for over 40 years. Please speak to your physician about your meds. The other person is right maybe you are not metabolizing your meds the same as before surgery. HUGS and best of luck. Please seek help. We are all in the same boat here.  

wonderful advice to give!!

My mom and my fiancé have been great. Anytime I need to talk or vent they are here for me. 

My post-op appointment is March 8 and I have my psychiatrist appointment just a few days after. Obviously if things get worse I'll try to get in sooner.

I have always had a problem with conscious breathing. I focus so much on the breath I take...my heart rate. It ends up setting off my anxiety if I feel like I'm not breathing properly (even if I am). That's what's happening right now. I am so focused on it that I cause myself my own issues. If there's something that takes me mind completely off of it...it's not bad.

I'm taking my antidepressants as prescribed and anxiety medication only when I need it which seems to be every day right now.

I've never had surgery before so I'm not sure what's normal and what's not normal after surgery.  I guess because I'm not sore I feel like I should be feeling like a million bucks.

So glad to hear you have a good support system with your mom/girlfriend. I know exactly what you are saying about the breathing and taking your pulse. I used to do that all the time. It consumed me. I think the biggest thing I learned over the year that has helped me is that it is just a panic attack, I am not going to die from and fast beating heart and shortness of breath because I can control it. I found that speaking to myself and saying over and over again during an attack " it's just a panic attack and it will be over soon". Sit quietly, breath and let yourself get control. Once you can control one, you will get better. They do get less frequent with time. You have just gone through a life changing experience. You will do great. It just takes time. I see lots of different stories on here. Just know that we are all different but that this is a very emotional journey. Best of Luck.

You know what??  I hear ya !!!

I have crazy anxiety issues as well.  I remember being totally overwhelmed in the beginning.  It seems to much to think about, it feels like everything you is do is probably wrong, snd you wonder why in the world you had a surgeon alter your insides for life...what was I thinking?? !!!!!  Yup...I felt all that and more!!!

All I can do is tell you things get easier.  Once you are to the stage where you can eat more like a "normal person", and you've gotten used your the water and visits...it just becomes your new normal...your new routine.  CHANGE is hard for us with anxiety and this surgery takes getting used to.  The tired part....totally normal.  Mine last about 3mths.  Recovery combined with low caloric intake....its to be expected.  Listen to your body, get the rest you need. 

Be good to yourself, take it one day at a time.  Try some deep breathing exercises or a you tube guided meditation even.  Don't be hard on yourself.....it takes practice...you will be fine.  Every wk you will learn a little more get a little more confident.  When the weight starts to fall off.....you will be feeling much better about everything!!  

Thank you all so much for all of your replies. It helped me a great deal.

I called the discharge nurse that you can call if you're having any questions or concerns. She's quite sure it's all mental. She told me to go to the doctors just to get assured so I did. Heart rate, lungs and breathing all fantastic. He's sure it's all mental and due to such a drastic changes that are happening...etc. 

He told me to try and calm down and find some peace of mind so that's what I will try and due.

One day at a time.

So sorry you are going through all of this.

I'm glad you saw the doctor, and that gave you some peace of mind. I too suffer from anxiety, I have suffered from panic attacks, mostly due to my OCD, so I know they are horrible.

Like everyone said, don't suffer alone, talk to someone, seek out the social worker, or see your doctor to make sure everything is okay (like you did).

There is alot going on with your body after surgery, its a tough time! Your body is healing, how your eating is new and different, and then the emotions of it all, so overwhelming!

Your right one day at a time. Just don't suffer alone, talk to someone or seek help if it gets worse.

Good luck! Best of luck!