another setback . . .

I'm sorry to vent, but I figure you guys are the only ones who might be able to understand how I feel right now.

I am very quickly coming up my my 8 year anniversary of my first referral to this program. I started at Ottawa and now i'm at Humbar. My requisitions have been lost, misplaced, overlooked, misfiled... i can go on. So finally I am on track and just waiting for my surgery date.

Now that ive graduated i'm started a new career and I cant take off the time with this Job. I've had a few interviews and they have been great, they can push my start date back to September but there is no way in hell they can give me 4 weeks off after I start. I complete understand, its marketing, you don't just start working with clients and then disappear. 

Dr Starr is now booking into February. For 8 years I have been able to take the 4-6 weeks needed, and now that I am finally at the end of this 8 year disaster its being taken away again.

I cant afford to stay off work till feb, nor do I want too.

I cant take time off after i start my job

if I wait until I switch jobs in likely 2 years (marketing) I can say goodbye to having another kid. (Ill be 36, i don't want that)

I cannot win.

I know several people who had surgery on a Thursday and went back to work on Monday. They were exhausted, but made it through. I say go to work and schedule your surgery.

If I had no kids I would do that in a heart beat. I'm staying with my mother for recovery so she can help with my 1 year old and my 90lb pup while I have lifting restrictions. But I could  talk to some friends and see if I can hire some in home help. That might be an option! 

Hello - While I can't begin to understand what you're going through, all I can do its try to put myself in your shoes and try offer a little comfort and insight. 

I have a friend who had her surgery in December.  She started a new job earlier in the year (May).  And during her interview she was forthright about the fact that she was awaiting a surgery date and that she would require 4-6 weeks off to heal.  It was a condition of her taking the job that she be allowed to take the time off.  They were agreeable.  As I would presume that most businesses would be.  Your health is number one and they take that seriously. 

I can only imagine how frustrated you must be right now, between a rock and hard place.  The only suggestion I can make to you is to consider what is most important to you right now and go with what your heart is telling you to do.  Everything else will fall into place. 

I wish you the best of luck in coming to a conclusion here.  It's going to be a hard decision and I hope you are happy with what ever conclusion you come to. 

Thanks. I think at most of other jobs taking the time off would be negotiable, but not in my field. It would be like starting a race and asking them to pause it half way through. 

Honestly, I need to start my career, the surgery is equally as important. I cannot choose between the two. I refuse to delay my career any longer, I wish that Ottawa and HRRH hadent lost my files (more than once) 

i am hoping dr Starr's office will work with me to figure this out, but they don't seem to care.

I think they're looking at it as: you're either going to have the procedure or your not and that there are hundreds of people waiting in line behind you.  It's really rough to have to decide, but one way or another, you're going to have to.  With the amount of people waiting to have this procedure, they can only be flexible to a point.

It really is a shame that your files got lost... That has to be frustrating.  

seriously? I came here for support.  I have jumped through every hoop they have asked me to, and it has been 8 years. Your referral was sent in 6.5 years after mine and your surgery is next month. I understand that you were trying to be empathetic but reading your comment was like being slapped in the face.

I realize that there are other people waiting for the surgery, does that make my request less important? does that nullify the bariatric networks mistakes with my file?

What you basically just told me is choose between  getting the surgery and having more kids but sacrificing being able to pay the bills, or wait another 2 years, pay the bill but never have another child. (i have one)  Easy choice, right?

Tell me, could you just choose? Before deciding I encourage you to wait 7 more years, to endure the frustration like I have and then to have to possibly lose it all because "they can only be flexible to a point."

That's not what I meant at all.  I was just trying to say that maybe that's where they're coming from, because you had said they acted like they didn't care.  I really wasn't trying to offend you at all. 

I'm very sorry if what I said was offensive in any way.  

I think that you set out the decision you face in clear (if unpleasant) terms.

People are trying to be supportive and  help you be realistic - you have a difficult decision to make.  It is a frustrating situation, but you still need to make a difficult decision.  You might consider weighing the pros and cons  - of having another baby.  Perhaps not an easy decision.  Making this decision might include evaluating your chances of getting pregnant without the surgery and being alive for that child to reach adulthood without your having the surgery.   For many people who need WLS surgery, it is a matter of life or death, so the WLS takes precedence and those people jump at the first date possible - no matter what else comes up.  You may or may not be in that situation.

Best of luck,

PS

I had my surgery (RNY) on a Monday and went back to work on Monday 2 weeks later - I used vacation time.   It would have probably been even a faster return if I had VSG and if I was as young as you.

Best of luck