making a list on positives and negatives of daily reading

I am recently post-op and have really been helped by so many of you veterans, pre-ops and post ops that I have felt this forum to be helpful in that area.  I have, howhwever, found a high amount of posts as of late which I find disheartening, frustrating and a bit offputting.  As a person who has made excuses for my various addictions over the years and blamed everyone but myself, I find it really hard to see post after post with people talking about how they know they are eating too much, aren't taking their vitamins, don't exercise, and are on here asking for someone to reassure them that it must be the fault of their, husband, doctor, surgery, family instead of accepting the reality that the problem is their own choices.  I know I need to be open to the views of others, and I am trying to feel empathy for these situations, but also find it very tough to read given the fight that I, and many whom I have chatted with, to even get through the door to a surgeon.  Please take this as what it is, me looking for a deeper understanding of both my reaction and perhaps what I can offer to those in this situation that will not be seen as snarky or judgemental, It does make me feel angry, I need to work on that myself, but are there any vets who can tell me how to turn this feeling into a spirit of more compassion?

I understand what you are saying, and I understand what you are feeling. The best I can offer you is this: Take what you need, leave the rest. If you aren't in a place where you can read posts without having a negative reaction to them internally - leave them, move on, find positivity and what you're looking for in other posts. When you feel more "comfortable in your own skin" as a post-op and feel like you may have something to offer others who may not be as positive as you, join in and read more posts.

Karen :)

Thanks Karen.  I know that when something really gets under my skin it can usually be tied to adjustments, my own fears etc.  I will do as you suggest and watch more carefully whom I am getting inspiration, strength, humility and honesty from and try to keep up on what they have to say.  The reality is, I haven't earned the right to tell any human being how they should be feeling, and can only control my own actions.  Thanks again appreciate the sound advice

I have often felt this way. I just move on. There is also a great feature called a block. If someone regularily annoys you just block them and you never have to read them again.

Thanks.  I did not know I could do that.

I think all the vets on here have had time where they have  gotten   frustrated with people. You learn to walk away from those posts and sometimes we just write out what we feel get it off the chest and yes we may upset them but we tell the truth. If they don't want to hear it that is there problem. I sometimes stay away for awhile when i find it is really getting me down or to worked up. It is not worth it. 

I don't feel sorry for the people who play the blame game or don't follow orders. We all knew what we were in before the operation and we are all adults and it comes a time we have to take responsibility for what we do.  Remember there are people on here *****ally want help and those are the ones you try and help and the others walk away from

Completely and totally understand.  There are a few people who, if I see a post from them, I just skip it.  I have no time for drama, attention-seeking or other non-productive posts.  I rarely read and NEVER respond to these people.  You'll learn quickly who to avoid. :)

Enjoy the positives of this site - trust me, they FAR outweigh the negatives, and learn as much as you can.  This board has been a god-send to me during this journey.

Best of luck!

TES