You might just need to bite the bullet and tell them. At some point it is bound to come out when you start to lose weight. Behaps you husband should go without you and tell them. At this point he can tell them how much how much he supports you and hopes they will as well.

That's a tough one and I totally understand. I'm on day 12 of Opti with 9 more to go and I haven't told my in- laws either. I am fortunate in that we don't see them much so it won't be a problem to keep it under wraps until after the fact. I too feel like it's my business only and have carefully chosen who I will share with. Coworkers know I'm having surgery but not what for. This is so personal and it's so important to have supportive and positive people around you. I did bow out of a dinner this past week by simply telling them that I was currently on a bland and boring diet and wouldn't be able to eat anything there. Good luck!

I vote for telling them you're sick. Have your husband go to their home...then there's no need for your in-laws to come over the next week.

Thank you very much everyone. I don't think you can imagine how grateful I am for all your suggestions.  I think I will have my husband tell them that I am sick and he goes to there house instead.  That way they should be good for a few months...lol

I, like you, didn't want my (future) in-laws to know that I was in the process of having WLS.  They are very opinionated, feel that everybody's business is theirs and I felt that I would be judged.  However, my fiancé asked if I would like him to explain to them what I am going through.  After much thinking about it, I decided it would probably be a good idea since we'll need a dog sitter when I go for surgery and they would question us on why we need a dog sitter for nearly a week.  He explained to them that this surgery was recommended by my orthopedic surgeon and was something I HAD to do for myself.  They have even asked a few questions since he told them and when we've been invited for dinner, they let me know what we are eating and ask if I can still eat that.  I really didn't expect them to be supportive whatsoever, but they have surprised me.  The only other person who knows about my journey so far is my mother.

I wish you all the best and if your in-laws find out about your surgery, hope they are as supportive as mine are.

Thank you Christine for your kind words but, 17 years ago My husband and I were going through a very difficult time.  We were having a difficult time conceiving,  so we had made the decision to go through IVF.  So after two failed attempts we decided that telling his family too, would stop them constantly asking when we will give them grandkids.  Well her answer when I told her was "you do know that your kids are going to be handicapped and they are not going to be very healthy"  and never did give me the support  Instead she told all her friends that I can't have kids.  Unfortunately for her, her friends like me and they called to congratulate me when they heard I was pregnant and told me how she told them that I couldn't have kids.

I don't have time for such negative people in my life at this time. 

if you don't want to out and out "lie" and say you're sick, just tell them that you're on a modified diet for health reasons. That might open up some discussion for later on.

That is a great idea. A modified Diet it is the truth just not the whole truth.  Thank you

When I did this, I was in the same spot with my then in-laws.  Didn't want the criticism from them.  So I kept it quiet until I started Opti.  My first weekend of Opti included 3 large family get togethers.  Fun.  By that time, my resolve was strong enough that they couldn't have said anything to change my mind or put me down.  They never went against me (it shocked them, not sure if it's because I never said anything, or because they couldn't control my life -a different story).

If you don't want to tell them you are having surgery, tell them you are on a medically supervised program to help you become healtheir, and at this stage you are only allowed specific shakes.  Because of this, you feel that it would be too awkward to go out for a meal with them. 

If you do go out and are allowed veggies through your plan, just ask for the salad with dressing on the side.  Then you can ignore it and just eat the veggies.

Good luck with your decision.

Cathy

That is the best idea ever Catw and Monica it feels a lot better telling them the truth that I will be on a medically supervised diet just not the entire truth.

thanks again everyone that is why I love this site so much.