Scary Saturday.

So I spent most of Saturday in the hospital.  It has really once again opened my eyes.  After finding out my weight and facing it (604 lbs).  I have been feeling like crap the past couple weeks and ended up waking up Saturday morning with horrible heartburn, to the point where I couldn't even swallow.  I took some tums and went back to bed only to wake up an hour later with horrible crushing chest pain that was radiating down my right arm to my back. I thought this was it, I was dying I thought.

I have anxiety very bad.  So I thought, this is just anxiety it is nothing.  Well after about an hour of bawling my eyes out my boyfriend made me go into Emerge.  Turns out my heart was beating out of control.  They did do 3 ECGs and 2 rounds of blood work and made me stay for over 6 hours for observation some morphine and gravol but the good news is from what they can see no damage has been done to my heart, however my heart is beating an average of 120 bpm for a resting heart rate which is bad.  It should be between 60-100 bpm.  So I have a Echocardiogram booked in Feb to further investigate.  But overall the consensus is that my weight is causing the increase in my resting heart rate, but they want to do their homework to make sure that it isn't a bigger issue.

I am scared.  Honestly I just got told I have Diabetes two weeks ago, and now this.  How many more things have to happen to show me that I am on the right path (in getting the weight loss surgery)?  But it is so frustrating because I am trying, legitimately trying to get my weight under control.

I am cutting out sugar, for the most part, sometimes yes I do slip and eat something.  But most of the time I am being good.  I have been walking (yes only in my apartment but I have been doing laps, so that I am doing something rather than nothing.)

I am so frustrated.  I am scared that I am not going to get the surgery in time and something is going to happen to me.  Or I will get the surgery and my eating habits are going to be hard to get under control.  Overall I am just scared.  I think because I have so little faith in myself.  I want to be healthy so badly though.  I am sick of feeling the way I do.

That must of been a really scary episode in the hospital. Stressing about it will not help although I know trying not to is not easy. Have you ever tried meditation. I find it really helps calm me. Most of us became obese because of eating issues such as boredom, stress eating emotional eating etc. You might want to reach out to the centre you are going through to ask for a psychologists appointment to help you deal with the stress.  These people are excellent at dealing with people who have eating issues.

I wish you luck  in your journey. Come back and tell us how you are doing

It was so scary.  I honestly thought I was dying.  Yes stressing about it will not help definitely, I need to meditate it would help greatly.  I do go to a psychiatrist but am going to start going to start going to see a counselor I think shortly.  I need to work though a bunch of mental stuff.

Thank you for the good luck wishes.

That would be very scary for me too...hope you feel better and your appointments are soon...when I went for my surgeon appointment ..I got put on the cancellation  list for the RN SW  and RD  ..I was lucky and got a call the next day...good luck and feel better soon..you won't regret this decision ...

It was definitely scary! Thank you, I am feeling a bit better now.  I hope my appointments are soon as well.  I hate this waiting.  I definitely don't regret my choice to go for the surgery.  I can't wait to get my life back.

Sorry to hear about this, hope you are feeling better.  All I can say is that my decision to have surgery was because my fear for my health became greater than my fear of the surgery. Sounds like you are at a similar place and I feel for you, especially since you have pcos like me, it's really hard. I have anxiety issues too so I know how that is. Know that you can improve your health one small step at a time. Reach out and get the help you need. You are worth it and you can do it!  

Hey! 

I am feeling a bit better today, I am at a similar place that you were definitely.  I hate having PCOS as well as now being told I have Diabetes plus I have anxiety, depression and also high blood pressure and now a funky heart beat.  It's just everything piling up and it is scaring me because honestly I don't want to know what else can happen.  I also have a horrible family doctor who has not been there for me at all and told me I have Diabetes a bit over two weeks ago and has not put me on medication or anything as of yet.  The doctor I saw in Emerge on Saturday put me on Metformin finally to help with my Diabetes and will also help with the PCOS. So today I de-enlisted from my doctor and am going on Health Care Connect to find a new doctor.  I called Humber River Regional Hospital first to make sure it will not affect my referral in any way, and they said no.  That was the only thing keeping me at my family doctor.

That sounds like a very scary experience! I'm sorry that happened to you. I know the anxiety you're feeling. I have generalized anxiety disorder and am just in general an anxious person, always have been. The wait for surgery was very nerve-wracking for me as well, it was for many people here so you're not alone. You are making good changes, keep it up! A little bit at a time all adds up.

It was one of the most scary experiences I have had.  I am going crazy waiting for appointments let alone knowing the surgery date! Everyone keeps asking me "When is your surgery?" they don't understand what you have to go through before you are given a surgery date.  But it is like that for a reason not everyone is ready for surgery!

That was a scary Saturday.  But you are on the right track.  Cutting sugar and moving around (even if it's only in the apartment) are a great start.  When doing laps, count how many you do.  And try to do one more each time.  You'll be amazed at how it adds up.  Just make sure you are drinking enough water/flavored water.  Even the activity you are doing will take some out of you.

I'm glad that they are looking further, just to be sure.  Then if there is anything, it can be dealt with now before it gets worse.

Cathy