Keeping it a secret?

I don't know anyone that had weight lost surgery. Didn't know much about what people go through all my understanding was once u had the surgery all u could eat was baby food.. So I never considered wls..  After doing a lot of reading researching understanding the process of weight lose surgery that it is a tool not a quick fix.. But I feel the general public doesn't understand the real meaning of the surgery think it is easy way.... People don't understand how hard it is to lose large amount of weight and how many times someone has tried with going to the gym following a meal plan, or doing weigh****chers some kind of program it's not as easy as it looks. I am just wondering curious have you kept the weight lose surgery a secret? If you didn't what was people's reactions when you told them?  What about your boss when you requested the time off? Did you tell them it was for wls or some other kind of surgery?  I haven't told anyone yet because I am waiting to start my journey...

When I was first banded almost 9 years ago, I kept it a secret, except for a couple close friends and my immediate family.  It was the worst decision I have made.  It was the hardest thing to keep to myself.  I didn't tell people because I was ashamed that I had to go to such extremes to lose weight.  But as you said, nobody truly understands what it feels like to have to lose 100+lbs.

So when I was losing weight I had to lie as to how.  When I was struggling (vomitting constantly, acid reflux, etc.) I had to lie as to what was causing it.  When I had surgery last year to have the band replaced as it slipped and I couldn't eat AT ALL, I had to lie as to why I was off work.  It is awful to have to keep up with the charade. 

I am working towards a revision from my band to RNY, hoping to have the surgery in the new year.  I am telling anybody and everybody that will listen to me.  Perfect strangers even.  From my experience in sharing this journey, people have been very positive.  It's funny how some of the folks I thought would have issue were the most excited for me.

At the end of the day, this is our life, our journey, and we need to do this for ourselves, nobody else.

It is a big part of your life, embrace it, be proud of good things you are doing for yourself.

Those that mind don't matter...and those that matter don't mind :)

I'm almost 3 months out and have told very few people.  I have been particularly careful not to tell anyone at work.  I told my boss that I was having surgery but did not disclose what type.  My work environment can be engrossed in gossip, so the only way to control it is not to put info out you don't want others to discuss.  I might change my mind at some point, but for now I'm okay with my decision.  For the people that know, they have been supportive.  Who to tell and when is your decision.  

I would also recommend joining a support group.  I found it very helpful in the early stages of this journey.  Good luck to you!!

I told my mother, and sister, because they had both had the surgery, but have kept it a secret from everyone else in my family. I don't see them all that much, nor are we that close, so I didn't feel obligated to keep them in the loop. I will say, at our big family Christmas, I did sense eyes on me during dinner time, but still, I just did my thing, and didn't worry about it.

As for friends, well I have only told one friend, and truthfully, since surgery, that friendship has kinda deteriorated. She is a city girl, who drinks quite a bit, and I just haven't wanted to be around that during this time. She wasn't really here for me during my healing stages, and I am sad she has seemed to drift away. I did think we were closer than that. I guess relationships do change post op. 

I definitely did not tell my boss. I did not feel it is any of his business. I am lucky in that I work from home, so I was able to only take off about a week, and then return. Unfortunately I had a work travel trip to Texas nine days post op, and it KILLED ME. I definitely wouldn't recommend returning to work as quickly as I did, unless you can do it from your couch. My boss put slight pressure on me saying he needed me for the trip, and I caved, it was a mistake. As for what I told him, I just said I had a medical issue that required surgery, and he did not ask. If he did, I would have told him I did not feel like sharing such personal information. A decent well versed in employment standards act' won't ask what the surgery is for. Now, this may be different for those who did take an official leave' from work. I did not. My employer just granted me the eight days off with pay without requiring me to do sick leave or medical leave etc.

In the beginning, I was ashamed, and did not want ANYONE to know, yet, Overall, at this point, I really don't give a crap. If someone asked me, I would tell them and be proud of the decision I have made. In fact, when I see someone struggling with their weight, I WANT to tell them there is hope, and help for them, but of course, I can't impede on someones personal life that way in fear of offending them. But if anyone shows the slightest of interest, I will. I say advocate the surgery for those who truly require it. It is a life saver, that many aren't aware of.

Good luck to you! xo

I chose to tell everyone and to educate them.  I was very lucky in that I did not need to request time off work and just had my surgery on my summer vacation.  My colleagues were and still are wonderfully supportive. 

Dawn

I told almost no one. A few close friends, but I lied to my mom and family. They're very judgmental and tend to minimize anything i do. They'd be the type to offhandedly say "well you had surgery so it's not like you had to work very hard". I wanted to be the one that got the credit for my hard work. 

Secret keeper here.  Told my mother and father in law, that's it.  I did not tell my employer, even though I took 7 weeks off... Just said I was having surgery, they did not ask questions.  I had taken time off for the appointments leading up to surgery so it was not a surprise that I needed time off for surgery.

As for friends I told one friend that I had abdominal surgery, because I couldn't lift anything for a few weeks and she was asking why, and why I couldn't go swimming, etc.  

I went back to work to a new job, and no one knows that I had surgery.  Of course with my weird eating habits, people ask why I only eat a tiny amount so I say that I am on a special diet - no sugar, low carb, super high protein.  No one has questioned it further....  It is a joke between my friends there now - if someone brings a small lunch, it's a "Jennifer" lunch haha

Do what feels right for you. 

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and stories I really appreciate it

I am personally telling everyone because this is a tool to lose the weight, it is not a quick fix or a cure-all.  Weight loss surgery is a tool.  You still have to do the work of eating nutritiously and exercising if you want the weight loss surgery to work for you.  I want to share my journey so that other people understand what you go through when you decide to choose weight loss.  I don't think that it is anything to be ashamed about.  I believe you are making the best choice for you when you are choosing weight loss surgery (if you choose that) because you have tried other ways first before resorting to weight loss surgery. But bottom line the weight loss surgery is a tool.

I have decided to only share my wls journey with my husband and parents.  I have a very small family and an even smaller social circle.  I don't want to share this with my workplace/co-workers for many reasons.  It's none of their business, and truthfully I don't want to hear their opinions. I want to remain positive and focus on myself rather than having to educate others why I've made this choice.

I was concerned about what I will say in future when the weight loss becomes apparent and I got great advice from someone who has had the procedure.  If asked, I will say I am in a program with medical and nutritional support assisting me along with lifestyle changes for a healthier me.

I am in the beginning of my journey and I have yet to have my appointment booked to meet the surgeon.  One thing that I would recommend is that if you have the opportunity to participate in any type of program/wls support group, do it. 

Best of luck to you in your journey :)