Question for the post op moms!!

Soo I'm going in for surgery next Friday...oh my...one week today!!!  I have twins that will be 3 in Feb, a 4 yr old and a 10 yr old and I'm a stay at home mom.  Yes my hands are full!  Moms who had small children post-op...how did you get through?!  I have help and my hubby is really good but there is a part of me that is sooooo anxious about them wanting to be picked up, or them falling asleep in their car seat or refusing to stay in bed...all things that require me to hoist them up and move them on their way.  So I guess I need some insight on how you all dealt with the terrible 2's 4's and even 10's after WLS?  

WhenI had my surgery, my youngest was 3, and my oldest 7.  Somehow they new that I wasn't 100% and helped me out, my 3 year old making sure I was comfy and alright.  I lay beside him to put him to sleep at that time, and he knew that he had to be careful and let me sleep on the outside of the bed for a while.  Just explain that you'll have a sore tummy for a while, that they can still cuddle, but they'll have to climb up and be gentle.  As your diet changes, you might be able to have them help prepare or suggest meals that you can all eat.

You'll get through this no problem, and you'll love it when you can chase them around without any problem!

Cathy

Thanks so much for your words Cathy...I needed to hear that!  I will do the same and hope they will understand that mums not 100% yet.  You are so right...I'm really looking forward to running after them with a smile on my face lol!!

Thanks again!

As Carchick said, your kids will surprise you.  My oldest has anxiety as well, and if he doens't want to talk about something, he'll ignore you or change the subject, so preparing him really wasn't going to work.  But he wondered when I'd lose my belly, so I explained it to him that the doctor wasn't taking my belly away, but helping me with my stomach so I can work at getting rid of my belly.  Now I just have my youngest (just lately) asking when I'm going for ps to get rid of the skin :o)  Both boys are my pride and joy.  They take care of their Momma as much as I take care of them.

Just take advantage of not being 100%, and get them to do more stuff around the house ;0)  You'll all do fine.

Get someone to take a picture of you and your DH and kids just before surger (morning, day before) and do it again in 6 months.  You'll see a surprise, and it's not just the stranger in the picture.

Cathy

My son is like your oldest. He'll ask me questions here and there but for the most part doesn't really want to talk about it.  I just tell him that the door is open whenever he is curious.

I am really looking forward to being off my feet!!  Will be the first time in a loooong time ;-).  Love the picture idea!  Going to do that!

I have not had WLS but I did have a c-section when I had my twins (4 years old now) and one of them suffers with some anxiety and meltdown issues and thought that maybe I might be able to help you out.  I find that the more prepared the kids are the better things go.  We use a lot of picture stories that show what we are going to be doing when it is something new or that requires them to do something out of their normal.  Using your situation as an example.  Tell them that you are going to the doctor and show a picture of a doctor (it can be a cartoon type picture) then you tell them when you come home you won't be able to pick them up, use a picture of someone picking up kids with a big red X through it, then tell them they need to be mommies helpers and help you out use pictures to show that, show them that they need to go to bed as mommy cannot help them, use pictures of kids doing that and obviously being happy pictures.  I think you get the idea.  You create a picture story of what is going to take place over the weeks after your surgery and show them their roll in it.  I print pictures off the internet and put them in a $1 store photo album and go over and over the story with them.  They get excited about it and it tends to really help in things going smooth.  I find that the more you tell them what will be happening the more they actually do what you want and need them the do.  Get them involved in helping to look after you even the 3 year olds can do stuff even if it were to go get a box a kleenex for mommy.  Your 10 year old can also help with the younger kids too.  Plus the kids will just have to learn to deal with the situation.  You cannot over do it and you need to focus on yourself so that in the end you can get to where you need to go.  Also, bribes work too.  Although I leave that to a last resort but it does work too.  I believe that talking to them and giving them the truth at a level that they can understand with really go a long way to your recovery and not needing to worry about them too.  I hope this helps even a little bit and good luck on your surgery.    I am sure this will all come together for you.  Kids can amaze you sometimes.  :-) 

Carchick thanks!  You gave me some really great suggestions around pre-prep to reduce anxiety.  If I do that with them it will reduce my anxiety as well lol.  Thanks for the reminder and support!  

Wow it`s really creeping up fast isn`t it :-) I haven`t had my surgery yet but I have had 3 back surgeries in the last 2 years and let me tell you kids are surprisingly intuitive. My kids just seemed to know I wasn`t up to par and couldn`t do stuff and they pitched in to help when and wherever they could. They would help me up, get me drinks and stuff I needed and if they wanted to cuddle they would come snuggle up to me very carefully or they would tell me Mommy I need a hug and we would make it happen :-) Good-Luck I look forward to hearing all about how you are doing :-)