Not what I imagined...

Robin V.
on 10/17/14 4:39 pm
I'm 16 months out and kinda feeling a bit disappointed. Not at all with my weight loss or brand new body, but with my world around me. At 8 month mark, excuse my expression, my husband lost his '****'. Became this possessive crazy man. Crying when I wasn't by his side and losing his mind if anyone looked my way. Months of counselling to determine he feared I'd leave. I guess I should back the bus up a bit, and tell it all. He never paid attention to me, did his own thing, while I 'held down the fort'. I cared for his son from a previous relationship, took care of our home, inside and out and took care of the finances. Which meant paying the way. Then when our son was 7 weeks old found out he'd rekindled an old flame from the past. I looked the other way and trudged on. So through all the 'fun', took care of the world around me and not myself. When our son turned 6 I had my WLS. For me and my son and no one else. Did it to be a better parent, person and roll model. Never thought of him at all. I was content with my little corner of the world, till now. I'm questioning my marriage. He feels now that he can give advice on how little I eat, what crazy food I eat and how I need to help him lose weight now so he'll feel better about himself.
Big problem.....I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I want out. I'm tired of being the leaning post, old reliable one to care for the world. I honestly think I'd be happy just my bubba boy and I. Don't need the big house, new cars just myself and no drama.
Someone please tell me I'm ok and can feel this way. So so sorry this is so long, but I'm DONE. I need a break. I should mention I also work three jobs, teacher, run a resort and clean houses to keep his lifestyle!
Thank you friends for listening.

Robin 

    

Referral June 2012.   Orientation August 2012.   Nurse January 2013.    Sleep Study January 2013.  Abdominal Ultrasound February 2013.  Beh/Nut February 2013.   GI Scope April 2013.     Nut Class May 2013.      Met Surgeon May 2013.     Surgery June 2013

 

 

Monica9811
on 10/17/14 9:38 pm - Peterborough, Canada

Robin you need to follow your heart. Life is too short and to precious to be unhappy. He sounds like a piece of work. You don't need that in your life. Best of luck with whatever decision you make. You sound like a pretty tough woman who can take care of herself. Good for you!

            

Patm
on 10/17/14 11:07 pm - Ontario, Canada
RNY on 01/20/12

I think having this surgery gives us the confidence to stand up for ourselves. Only you know what path you should follow but I encourage you to stick up for yourself and do what is best for you. Perhaps some counseling in your busy schedule to help you sort out what you want

  

 

 

 

Seyenna
on 10/17/14 11:33 pm - Welland, Canada
RNY on 12/16/14

He did what he did in the past and you moved on from it, forgave him or whatever, so I don't think that should be the basis of you leaving him. But you do deserve to be happy, even if he was the most loving and attentive husband ever. I say this from personal experience. I had a boyfriend once that was amazing, wonderful, wealthy, and good looking. Hard to pass up, right? On paper he was the perfect man. The sex life was lacking and he lacked passion, and something just didn't "click", so I moved on... despite the outcries from my friends and family. I had to be true to my heart.

Do what makes you happy. Do not focus on then, focus on now and focus on your future. If you cannot see him as part of it - then you need to move on. 

Referral - Feb 25th, 2014. Info Session - April 7th 
Surgeon#1 - May 15th  Dr. Glazer - July 23rd, Dietitian/Social Worker/RN - Aug 1st, Surgeon #2 - Sept 10th, Surgery - Dec 16th, 2014!

merry1
on 10/17/14 11:52 pm - Canada

You are totally justified feeling the way you do and God bless you, you are looking to be a healthier, happier person.  I think I can say we all support you for wanting to move on.  Don't let anyone discourage you or ask you to live a life in which you are not happy.

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