Feeling alone

My referral was sent in. It toke my doctor a while to finally do it as I have previously asked and she denied me. So this time when she agreed I was excited. This is what I really need as I have tried everything else and spent thousands of dollars on weight loss with no success.

So off course I am excited. I tell only the closest people to me. First my husband... His reaction is I am taking the easy way out. He thinks I can lose 150 LBS on my own. Cause lord knows he knows all about weight loss the guy hasn't dieted once in his life, he can eat what he wants and not gain a pound.

My brother and sister in law also don't agree with my decision (again two people who have never struggled with weight issues)

I fell so alone right now. I want the surgery I need the surgery but I also need my family to support me and I fell like I don't have anyone to talk to about it. If only they knew how hard it is to lose weight on your own.

Even if they were more supportive, they still wouldn't truly understand, having never lived it. They can sympathize, empathize, and care though - it's too bad they're not at this point. That's why you have us.

Karen ;)

I'm so sorry that your going through this.  But as Karen said your not alone, you have us. Don't let them discourage you. If this is something you want and are very serious about it then go for it! Only you know what best for you!! 

Good luck in your journey and keep pushing....full speed ahead!

Kim xo

Thank you, This is not only what I want but also what I need. I see all the amazing results you are all having and I cant wait for that to be me!!

You are the one who has to live in a state that makes you unhappy. MAKE your own choices no matter what others say when they see how happy you are they'll be happy for your success.

Hey Melanie,

I can very much relate to what you wrote. My family was not on board with me doing the surgery as well, and felt I could lose the 130lbs on my own. I come from a family of morbidly obese women, I was on the smaller side within my family, so they couldn't quite grasp why I needed help, and why I wanted to take 'the easy way out' as they said. I stopped trying to present my case to them a long time ago. 

I did A LOT of internal work, and researching, and thinking regarding this decision, it was not something I jumped into. I spent over a year studying it, weighing the risks, and trying to lose the weight on my own (unsuccessfully again) So when I made up my mind to do it, no one was stopping me, and I was going to do it.

I hope that you do find some common ground with someone within your family, or your husband, I really do, but if you find it is bringing you down to the point of having a negative impact on your journey (this is your journey) maybe have a serious talk with them about that. And please do come here, there are a ton of caring people on the boards, support coffee nights, and options for those who are lacking in support, to partake in.

I still don't have the support I wish I did from family or friends, but at least they have stopped talking negatively about my choice. In the end, nothing is going to bring me down. I know it was the right choice. I know I need this tool. And I am beyond excited to start living the life I so badly crave. 

It is hard when people do not understand. Find a WLS support group in your area or hospital. You will meet great people who get what you are going through. Your family may come around in time

Hi Melanie I got the same comment from my husband about taking the easy way out.  My mothers response wasn't positive either.  My sister in law had the surgery about 8 years ago and since gained it all back. I'm very determined to have this surgery but fear the lack of support from family might be a hard to handle.  I'm also worried that the psychologist may see this as a negative and not put me through. 

Hope we both get the support we need from each other and this great forum. 

I hear you.  Many of my family and friends were not onside with my decision.  They have never walked in my shoes and finally (some of them) came around to at least understanding that.  You've already done so much and obviously want to live a good long healthy life and this is your best shot.  As the others say, you have us to support you.  Also find a local support group who meet physically every so often.

You are not alone, so many of us face the same judgement. educate yourself, be confident in your decision and do what you need to do be happy and healthy. 

My wife was of a similar mindset as your husband, she has since realized that I need this and has been awesome in changing the entire way we operate our family for the better so I do have good support now. 

The "you are taking the easy way out" argument is so ignorant and I have grown tired of explaining that to people who believe it, to me it is about as ignorant as the whole "immunizations cause autism" belief and these people just can't be reasoned with no matter what facts you present them. 

You need to get healthy for you, if you have to be a bit selfish, do it, if you are informed and have decided that this is for you then try not to worry about what other people think, in a few years when you are living a happy healthy life, none of it will matter how you got there anyways.