meeting with my doctor to request a referral

Hello everyone,

My name is Katie and I am a new member here and this is my first time posting. I was referred to this site courtesy of a family member.

I am meeting with my new doctor in 4 days to request a referral for weight loss surgery. I've delayed making this appointment for the last 5 years because I've been terrified I'll get a resounding "NO", and that feeling of my world crumbling around me was something I wanted to avoid, I don't know if I could bounce back from such a let down. After reading a lot of successful stories and talking personally with friends and family who have undergone weight loss surgery, I feel a little more comfortable about this appointment and what to expect. The letter that I'll be reading to her, which has yet to be written, is going to be a struggle to get through. I don't need to tell you what kind of heartache boils up to the surface when you have to face the facts and realize that you're in this position because you put yourself there. Admitting defeat. Admitting fault. Or at least it is for me. You can't change what you don't acknowledge, right?

Key points I know to talk about in my letter:
Current health problems and struggles, both physically and mentally
All attempts at weight loss: dieting, exercise, etc.
Future health problems if not rectified by weight loss (diabetes, knee and back problems, etc.)
My understanding of the surgery process and what to expect

I'm sure a lot of you have discussed this topic to no end with other members, I am just rookie looking for a little more insight, words of encouragement, experiences, and tips to help with this meeting and whatever answer I'll hear at the end of it. There will be tears on that day, lots and lots of them, I just hope that at the end of the day they won't be for nothing and that I'll be one step closer to becoming the real me.

It's my turn for a second chance at life and it won't be squandered.

Thank you all in advance for your words of wisdom! 

Welcome!

I think the best thing you can tell your doctor is that you are asking for a referral to the bariatric registry so that the bariatric experts can determine your eligibility for weight loss surgery. It is up to them, not your family doctor. All he/she has to do is refer you.

Karen 

You'll be fine at your appointment.  Yes, there is a lot of emotion around this. 

Please do not look at this step as admitting defeat, or admitting fault.  It's not, what you are doing is admitting that you need help, admitting that you can't do this alone. The path that you have chosen to take, may not be the easiest path in life, but it is truely worth it.

Let us know how your appointment goes, we'll be here when you need support.

Cathy

I was just in your shoes 2 months ago, in July. I've been thinking about weight loss surgery for well over a year, and never had the courage to ask for the referral. With the help of the ladies on here, I made an appointment with my health care provider. I had this giant speech that I practiced 10000 times over in my head, and was preparing for the worse. Literally all that I said was "I've been researching for well over a year and I would like you to refer me for bariatric surgery.." and was about to go into my HUGE spiel about it, and my nurse practitioner cut me off and said "Absolutely." She filled out my referral form right then and there, and faxed it in that day.

Being overweight isn't because you failed at something. Things happen, some people never learn to make proper nutrition choices, some people turn to food, some people have mental health issues. It's no use playing the blame game. You just have to move past it, and good for you for taking the first step. 
Best of luck with your appointment! Please let us know how it goes :)

Hi Katie , 

I'm waiting on my surgery date right now , so I'm still sort of new to all this , I've been a member on here since April . 

I just wanted to say that I'm sure your doctor will be completely fine about referring you if your weight is having a negative impact on your health , and if he / she doesn't refer you then at least you can have a serious conversation on how to proceed and get the help you do need at this point . If all goes well I also wanted to say that you sound extremely focussed and have an excellent mind set right now so you are defo on the right track already !! 

This forum , for me , has been one of the biggest tools so far ...and I know it will continue to be just as big a tool as the surgery itself . It's amazing how much you unconsciously educate yourself by reading experiences of other . I am on here almost every day , and every day I learn something new and gain more tips for life afterwards . And yes , it's so cool to just have a go to bunch of people to ask any tiny little question , no matter how silly it sounds or how ashamed you may feel for asking and putting yourself out there , and then getting all sorts of responses and advice from people who are/have been in your shoes and can totally relate .So , I guess I'm saying 'Stick around ' !!! It's awesome here !!

Good luck with your appointment and I look forward to hearing about it and chitting with you along the way

Jax x 

Just wanted to say that I wish you well with your appointment. Echoing Karen, I agree that all you really need is the REFERRAL. It's not up to our GPs to determine our eligibility for surgery. It's up to the Bariatric specialists and the program to ensure that we are excellent candidates. I would think that writing the letter you hope to will help you personally, but know that in the end, it might not be needed.

Hang in there. We are all 'rookies' at one point or another. It's a learning process.

Welcome to the website and I hope you take some time to read a bit of the information here and learn about all the steps in the process. It's not a short process, but it's oh-so-worthwhile!

Hello again everyone...

First and foremost, thank you to those that replied with words of encouragement and advice, and for such a warm welcome to the forums.

I had my appointment today.. and it went well! I couldn't tell if what the doctor was filling out was the referral form itself or if it was just notes to include on it when it's sent. I ended up not needing a grand speech to explain myself and my reasons behind choosing bariatric surgery. I'll save those words for the experts. 

I'm very confident that things are going to go well for me, and I can't wait to build friendships with you all throughout this impending journey. 

Cheers!

Great news! I'm glad it went well and you got the referral - now the fun begins. :)