gone

Gone

I haven't, no. But I did want to say that I'm sorry to hear the two of you are struggling. I also wanted to tell you to please slow down and think this through. A difference in eating habits is not the cause of ending a marriage. Food is not the basis of your marriage! I think if you look a little deeper, food choices could be the scapegoat with respect to issues. Time to sit down with your spouse and have a heart-to-heart about how you've been feeling, how she's been feeling, what can be done to improve the situation.

Best wishes to you both.

K.

i haven't. But drastic changes in lifestyles can be a stressor for the marriage. I'd suggest counselling.

She might be feeling a little insecure because you have lost weight and are living healthier....she may feel as though she is not good enough for you anymore. She may also be feeling judged by you in regards to what she eats, how she eats, and her lifestyle.

As a person who has gone through this process.....we learn a lot.....about food, about our bodies, about ourselves. It's hard not to put our "2 cents" in every time we see someone making a less than healthy choice. I do it to my mother all the time, lol. We think we are just being helpful and sharing our knowledge....but on the other side of things it can make people feel very judged and just bad about themselves. We need to try hard to remember what it was like when we were 430 pounds and try to not accidentally come off like we are being critical by saying things like "I live healthy and she eats junk food and fatty foods". Even if you are not SAYING that to her....she feels it, and you can say things without saying them. You once ate junk food and fatty foods...remember? Where you any less worthy of love, respect, and understanding?

Fear, low self esteem, insecurity....when they come out, they come out as anger, sarcasm, distance, etc. I can almost guarantee you that she is not angry or *****y that you are healthier and lost weight. It's the fear and insecurity about what that loss might MEAN for her, and the change she sees in how you are relating to her.

Try some extra love. Maybe some flowers, an extra hug here and there. Tell her she looks beautiful and do something nice for her. Not just once....but repeatedly. Take food off the table...agree to make your own meals or whatever you have to do to stop the fighting about food. Try to keep your opinions to yourself......if she wants them, she will ask =)  And I bet after a month or 2 she will start to let down her guard and once she starts to feel loved and more secure, she will open up and be more receptive to change, even if it's just a little.

THIS of coarse is if you are interested in making things better. If not...then nothing I just said matters, lol. Good luck

I saw that this was edited to remove your original post...

I hope that means you just wanted to remove the content therein, and that it is not a reflection of your current status with your partner?

Regardless... thinking of you.

I got some inbox msgs from a few ladies who thought they would take it upon themselves to attack me be cause i am a guy talking about my wife. I guess being a guy on this site is a bad thing. I am deleting my account.  

I'm sorry people went out of their way to PM you and make you feel like you needed to delete your post. Just ignore them. And I hope MY reply didn't make you feel judged or crappy. I really was just trying to help by giving you what I thought "might" be her perspective.

At least you cared enough to come here and ask...a lot of guys wouldn't =) Good luck and I hope things work out for you, one way or the other. And don't let a few bad apples ruin the bunch just tell them to buggar off =)