NEWBIE HERE- 1st post. Looking for support and current wait times Toronto

Hi There, 

I have been reading this site for some time, well before I ever imagined I would be forgoing gastric bypass. I have always suffered my weight issues in silence, and alone, and that is how I did find Obesity Helps years ago.

 I realized with my up and coming orientation date set, that since I really do not have much support, and because I do feel we all would require support through this process, I decided I would join the site, and hopefully make some good friends who get me' along the way.

 My family is full of obese women. I have always been the smallest in that group. I think this accounted for me living with my size and feeling somewhat OK, and definitely not fat. No way, not me. I have lived for so long in denial, while never even being able to complete simple everyday joys, like walking half a mile throughout a park, giving my dog the exercise she deserves, and standing for anything more than 15 minutes. I became used to my size, my body, I had almost even accepted it. I never felt ugly, or fat. It was only until this year, at 34, after having gone through a painful heartbreak, that I realized just how severe my weight problem is, and how depressed, and shameful I was about it. How much I hide this from everyone.

 Anyway, I won't ramble on. I am hoping along with the support here, that I can also get some updated info on current wait times? My doctor sent on a referral for me on APRIL 9TH 2014, I received a letter for my orientation on JULY 23RD 2014 at Toronto Western (I am going to call tomorrow and inquire about cancellations) and hopefully move this date up. Can someone provide any current insight on how long it will take to get to my surgery date? I do not have any comorbidities, other than high blood pressure and being physically strained to complete simple functions. I am always tired, drained, unhappy, sore, you know how it is. I still carry on, with a smile on my face, and act as though all is great.

I should have the support I need within my own family, seeing as two of my immeidate family members (mother and sister) have had the surgery just over a year ago. And hey, yeah maybe that opened up my eyes more and saying to myself 'you don't have to live like this' but unfortunately I do not have that support.  My family being as large as they are, think I do not need it.  They make me feel ashamed for even having asked for the referral. I have weighed 220lbs and up for the past ten years. Obesity, heart diseases, cancer, sleep apnea, all run very high in my family. My mother almost passed away after two majour heart attacks in 2012. My sister at her highest weight was 360lbs, my mother at her highest around 300. They both now look amazing, it brings tears to my eyes. They support one and other, and here I am, keeping it to myself so that I am not criticized for my decision to move forward with it.

 Truth is, I am so tired of being fat. I'm tired of nothing having worked for me. I am tired of hiding in my house. Of not enjoying my life. Of feeling sore, sick, and drained, Of feeling secretly ashamed. Of not experiencing the love I deserve. of having no one to lean on. of hating summer. Of being ashamed to eat in front of others. Of wearing spanxs so tight I can barely breath. Of failing, and of pretending as though I have it all together... I don't want to live my life this way.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this lengthy first post!

REFERRAL SENT- APRIL 9TH 2014 - ORIENTATION DATE TORONTO WESTERN- JULY 23RD 2014 - 

First, a very warm welcome to the forum - it takes guts to take the first step and share your thoughts and feelings with respect to such a sensitive topic as your weight. Good for you. Your post shows good understanding and insight of the issues you're dealing with and where to start on the road to good health.

While I can't offer advice with respect to wait times these days at Toronto Western (I'm 8 years post-op and went through Humber a gagillion years ago) (ok, 9 years ago), I can surely offer you support and guidance with the major life changes you appear to be ready to make.

I find it sad, and surprising, that your mother and sister wouldn't be more encouraging considering they've gone through the process themselves - I'm thinking perhaps a direct conversation explaining your feelings and a request for some positive encouragement based on their own experiences and expertise might help a little. Despite their opinions, this is your decision - your life, your health. Most all of us here can relate to your feelings of shame, sickness, and being simply "tired" of the struggle.

Based on your current height and weight, you certainly qualify for weight loss surgery. Several wonderful people here are going through, or have gone through, Toronto Western and have certainly felt what you're feeling. I myself can completely relate to being the "happy smiling everything's ok" girl when inside we're hiding our true selves in many ways.

We're here to help, listen and support. I'd be extremely happy to help in any way I can - do not hesitate to ask.

So welcome. You're in the right place.

Best,

Karen

Hello and Welcome! Here is my timeline at TWH:

Referral received Aug 27, Orientation October 2013, all appointments between January and May 2014, just got the call to meet the surgeon in July.  It has been a long haul, and slightly discouraging seeing other people get through faster than myself as I am pretty healthy, considering.  I don't know what the wait time is between meeting the surgeon and having surgery, but we were warned at Orientation that the process takes about a year on average. 

Good luck with your journey. If you want to talk, feel free to pm me anytime. 

from one newbie to another.......HUGS!!!!  I just started on this website a couple of weeks ago and my doctor just referred me last week, so I am also waiting for my package? in the mail or a phone call or whatever happens next.  I am 47 and do have comorbidities, such as high BP (take 3 pills) high cholesterol (1 pill) and type 2 diabetes (take 5 pills).  Lets keep each other posted on our journey and welcome the support that is on this website.......so many of these people are AMAZING!!!! Welcome aboard 

Welcome! I am sorry you feel unsupported at home, that's really unfortunate given that they have been in the same boat! If you fit the criteria, then you fit it, and why wouldn't they want to see you healthy BEFORE you get up to 300 lbs? Well, you will find lots of support here, I'm sure.

I would say I got through TWH pretty quickly... and hope I didn't annoy the above poster for doing so. I didn't call constantly for cancellations, but I was once or twice able to have two appointments in one day, because of no shows while I was there. I also had to have an early surgeon consult, because of my past history with Crohns disease and abdominal surgeries. So I had a VSG on May 6th, which was about a year after I went to see my GP about it, but only 9 months from them receiving my referral at the registry. Check out my timeline in my signature.

Thank you all so much!!! Was ncie to come check in and see some had taken the time to reply, really appreciate it. Honestly, I am not completely sure why my family is acting that way towards me, but if I even bring up they subject, they bru**** off, and clearly do not want to discuss it with me, so I no longer bring it up. They both do look so incredibly amazing, and are healthier, so that is what matters most to me. I will state, for those of you going through Guelph, they both did have their surgeries last year, and the entire process took them both 18 months (they actually had their surgeries on the same day) I now it took them 8 months to even hear back from Guelph regarding orientation, so I guess I am lucky in that I did hear back and was scheduled to go to the orientation just slightly over three months from time of referral.

I have read a few whom had gotten from orientation to surgery within five months, and they were out of TWH like I am, so I guess the times have drastically improved. 

Hi Chrissy! I am not sure how it works through other locations or what hospital you will be referred to, but TWH just sent me a letter a month aprox after my doctor referred me which had my orientation date on it, and a number to call to confirm if I would or would not be going. I did call to confirm, and have to say, the staff seemed incredibly nice, which is always refreshing. And yes, I would love a buddy to go through the process with.

Hi Blueiis, I did think about that too... If because I have no co mobids this might slow my timeline, which makes sense... I was very surprised to hear back within a month, as based off my mom and sis, not hearing for 8 months, this is what I was expecting.

Thank you both Karen and Reliena for sharing your experiences and offering support!  My mom did actually say 'you're small enough to fix this on your own...  am not even going to bother discussing it with them any longer, they don't understand. Its hard because I thought they would be right there with me, and never expected this reaction. I am sure a lot of relationships in my life will change after this. I have been doing a ton of reading on it (what else are we going to do while waiting) overall I do feel as prepared for the process as I can be, from home. Or at least I think... It dd take me years to finally come to this conclusion, and like all of you, I am sure we all have spent time overthinking this.

Also, one other question. I am fairly lucky in that I do work from home, so this greatly helps with appointments ect.. And when the date comes closer, I do not plan on telling my boss exactly what I am doing, but more so explain I will be going through surgery for something personal, but I am unsure exactly how much time I will require off. Do you think within a week I should hopefully be able to function, and drive a car? Should a week be enough time off? 

Also, I know I fit the criteria BMI wise for surgery, but I do still wonder if I will go through the entire process only to be denied, I guess that fear arises in most going through this. 

Thanks so much again for the words of support!

Jennifer

Hello Jennifer

I started the process with my orientation at TWH in July  ....  I had some hurdles ... sleep apnea seemed to be the worst but am scheduled for surgery June 16, 2014

I am very new here and very excited!

The staff at TWH have really been amazing!  Each and everytime I had a question or problem and called in ... if no one was available one of the girls returned my call very quickly!

They had patience and real understanding!

Best of luck :)

June 14th!! OHHHH How exciting! I like to think of my future surgery date as the beginning of my new life. I am glad the staff at THW are great, they seemed kind when I did speak with them. I did fear that they might be harsh (not sure why I thought that) maybe it deals with my experiences with the nurses at Dr. Bernstiens when I did that a few years back, where their whole attitude was to make you feel shameful and low for having made bad choices. WHEW, thank god I left that program. It was just a horrible decision all together!

I left them a message regarding getting on the cancellation list, so hopefully I hear back! I do see based on the surgery lists that are posted, that some surgeries are already being scheduled for October, my best case scenerio would be to have it done by Dec, but I am not sure if that is realistic. We shall see! I am just very happy at how much the waiting has improved and most no longer seem to be waiting more than a year.

I am sending my best wishes your way! I bet you are feeling a bunch of different emotions! It will be great, and looking forward to hearing your updates!

It's really hard to guess how long it takes to be "back at it" post-op. Some people feel great just days later, don't bother with pain meds, etc. Some people have big complications and it's many days to weeks before they are discharged. Then there is me, who actually got out of the hospital a few hours early, but I took every last Percocet I was prescribed, and I would have liked a few more! I still have a tight, sore area around one incision, that makes some activities difficult. Now, I did have my gallbladder removed at the same time (full of stones), so maybe that is part of it. But I felt like a bit of a baby compared to some. That said, I did resume driving *lessons* (yep, and I'm 31!), about 2.5 weeks post-op. That is different than if I was a seasoned driver, though, because I get nervous and tense. Ugh.

I also have had pretty great experiences with everyone at TWH. Andrew at the front desk is especially kind. I wish you all the best! Oh, and I saw your comment on my "arm gap" post, hehe. Yes, the NSV's keep a-coming. Today I separated out all the stuff from colder months that I will never wear again, to give to charity, and make room for all the cute smaller things just given to me by my friend who ran a clothing swap! She let me go through all the stuff people had left behind, before taking things to charity. Yay! Don't worry, everything will still make its way to a charity sooner or later. I'll probably be out of those sizes by Thanksgiving! Wee!

I'm really hoping I am at least able to be mobile after one week, including drive! If so, I should be able to resume my job without having to take too much time away. I feel guilty about even requesting the time off! I'm lucky my job is very stationary, in I am either sitting on mu couch or driving to see a client.

Congrats on getting the license at 31! I have a friend at 34 who still doesn't have hers, and I keep pushing her to go get it! I'm contemplating getting my M1 motorcycle after this journey :)