just getting started please help

Hi so i am new to the idea i have done research and decided i like the vertical sleeve option better ...

i am 22 in a few days and i really just want this to be the year where my life begins... i have been turned down for jobs and looked over for a lot of opportunities because of my weight... 

ok sad story is over.. 

how much of a support system do you need as i do not have any support aside from my dog? my family does not approve and thinks this is the lazy way out

how long of a wait does it take once you start the process?

how much weight should i expect to lose?in the first month? first 6 months? first year?

what do i need to do to prepare? diet exercise? 

how long do you stay in the hospital (normal everything goes well situation)

are there support groups to join in the ottawa valley area for people with out support?

should i expect to arrange rides or will i be able to drive myself? 

does OHIP cover everything i will need? if not what all does it cover and what will i need to  buy myself? how much should i save?( no medical insurance) 

thanks for reading and if you can help any thanks so much i am so worried and very just lost right now thanks so much 

Well to start, you have come to a great place for answers. Ill try to help. I expect others will add as well. Prior to surgery You will need to buy one week of optifast for each 100 lbs you are over weight (thereabouts) begining at 200 lbs you need 2 weeks opti etc and so on. You are to take the opti only for the specified weeks, it is done to help your liver shrink as well as help with weight loss. You will need to take vitamins for life, a good multi, vit b 12, calcium and vit d, AND whatever else is individually needed for you. You will need to purchace quality protein powder, or pre made shakes, these will be your life-blood post surgery. Expect your nails break easily and tear and hair to fall out. You should bring a friend along to any and all appts,it is just so that you can both ask questions and also with 2 people your more likely to remember things. It is not a requirement though. Generally after surgery your in hosp overnight (again this is individual) There are also individual wait times for surgery, if you have co-morbidities  you tend to go through faster. My weight was 235, but I had high blood pressure, diabetes, and high cholesterol. I was referred jan 25th 2013, and had my surgery june 28th 2013 (5 months) How much weight you lose is individual too. But there is a guideline chart somewhere on this site, I think Monica or catw knows where to find it. Now to deal with other people that have nothing better to say to you than ' ITS AN EASY WAY OUT' Dont listen to them! It is far from easy, the weight dosent fall off like magic, you havve to work at making better food choices and you should exercise. You will no longer be able to tolerate high fat , high sugr, or high carbs. Again this is individual and dependant on the type of surgery you have had. Some people get very sick these things,others do not. It is a great deterrent though! So for those well meaning people , who think their advice to you is helpful (taking the easy way out) just ask any one of them "are you on any medication for diabetes? high blood pressure? high cholesterol?" and if the answer is yes then YOU should respond with medications are an easy way out= why dont you alter your lifestyle! As for your age, well really do you want to wait until you have added another 100 pounds? I believe age should not be a critical component. You will have to talk with social worker, dietician, nurse clinitian, internest and surgeon, they decide when and if your ready. You also dont get to pick your type of surgery, the surgeon does. The only way you can pick is if you travel to Mexico (or someplace that does it) and pay for your flight surgery and everything else. I liked the sleeve option too, but my surgeon was adament nope your having an rny he said. This is due to many people needing revision surgery

Good luck with your referral. You will not be able to get the sleeve unless you can prove there is a medical reason for it. Otherwise everyone gets the RNY.

There are support groups in the Ottawa area. Join one now. The members will be a great source of information and support.

everyone loses weight at a different rate. It depends on your body and the amount you have to lose.

Starting exercise now is a good thing. Also if you smoke stop now

You will be in the hospital for about 3 days.

You will need a ride home from the hospital after the surgery.

Ohip covers all but the opti diet you will have to do just before surgery. Others can tell you the cost. You will always for the rest of your life have to take a multi vit and calcium citrate. You can check these costs at your local stores.

Good luck

Happy soon to be Birthday, I'm hopeful your family with some education on the process, and results will come around.  This surgery is just a tool to assist in your weight loss, you will be making many long term changes.  On average I spend about 100 dollars per month on vitamines.  I buy a protein powder that comes from my local health store and spend about 40 dollars a month on it.  I find one of the bigger expenses is buying bras because it's not often I find workable used value village ones.  I buy second hand always for all other items.  As you begin your journey start to purchase things like your blender, shaker cup with ball food scale, small storage containers, water bottles and some of those other items.  If possible start taking calcium today so your body has a good base and try to get a bone density test done so you have a base line.  Your support system can be friends so pull in who you can a keep moving forward.  Good luck on your journey and welcome to this forum.

Hi there!  First I'll start with answering your questions:

how much of a support system do you need as i do not have any support aside from my dog? my family does not approve and thinks this is the lazy way out.  There are a lot of people that don't have a lot of support, but you will need a drive to and from Ottawa for the surgery.  As for your family, you are allowed to take people to your appointments with you.  If you have someone that usually supports you for other things, you can bring them to the appointments, or orientation.  The reason that they think that this is the "lazy way out" is that they are uneducated about the surgery.  This will help them to understand that you are asking for and getting a tool, not a miracle cure.  This is a journey, not a magic wand.

how long of a wait does it take once you start the process?  It can take 6 to 18 months, but it depends on what the results of tests are and how you get through.

how much weight should i expect to lose?in the first month? first 6 months? first year?  I'll put a chart at the end of this post for the expected weight.  But remember it's only a guideline, it's not written in stone.

what do i need to do to prepare? diet exercise? One of the big things that you can do, is to start a journal. In the journal, put everything you eat, drink, activity, and what you feel.  Also looking at what you are eating and making smarter choices.  Make small goals to eat healtheir. Like aiming for 8 glasses of water a day.

how long do you stay in the hospital (normal everything goes well situation) It can be anywhere from 1 to 2 nights.  I could have been out the next day, but with 2 young kids, I didn't want to risk any issues so I stayed the extra day.

are there support groups to join in the ottawa valley area for people with out support?  There isn't anything in the Valley right now as a group that I know of.  But there are a number of people who have surgery that you can connect with.  If you want, you can PM me and I'll give you my e-mail address and we can talk when ever you need to.  I am quite willing to listen and to help if I can.

should i expect to arrange rides or will i be able to drive myself? For most of your appontments, you can drive yourself.  You will need a ride for your surgery, and maybe your 1 week checkup.

does OHIP cover everything i will need? if not what all does it cover and what will i need to  buy myself? how much should i save?( no medical insurance)   OHIP will cover the surgery and hospital stay for a ward room.  You will need to buy your Optifast, and supplements afterwards.  You may need another prescription for blood thinners, but that's individual.  I didn't need any myself.  The only time I had them actually was for my 2nd c-section and that was only in the hospital.  There is a blood test that doesn't cost anything as long as you do your blood work at an Ottawa Hospital, but it will if you go to a private clinic.  You may also need to get some protein shakes for just after surgery.

Now for the chart:

Expected excess body weight loss:
6 weeks - 25%
3 months - 35%
6 months - 55%
9 months - 70%
1 year - 80%

For patients weighing 200 to 250 lbs.
10 lbs. in first 10 days
15 to 25 lbs. in 6 weeks
25 to 35 lbs. in 3 months
35 to 45 lbs. in 6 months
60 lbs. or more in 1 year
70 lbs. or more in 18 months

For patients weighing 250 to 300 lbs.
10 to 12 lbs. in first 10 days
15 to 25 lbs. in 6 weeks
25 to 35 lbs. in 3 months
45 to 60 lbs. in 6 months
80 lbs. or more in 1 year
90 lbs. or more in 18 month

For patients weighing 300 to 400 lbs.
10 to 30 lbs. in first 10 days
25 to 45 lbs. in 6 weeks
35 to 55 lbs. in 3 months
50 to 80 lbs. in 6 months
100 lbs. or more in 1 year
120 lbs. or more in 18 months

For patients weighing 400 to 500 lbs.
10 to 30 lbs. in first 10 days
25 to 45 lbs. in 6 weeks
35 to 60 lbs. in 3 months
50 to 90 lbs. in 6 months
120 lbs. or more in 1 year
150 lbs. or more in 18 months

There is also a letter that might help explain the surgery to your family:

To all "Significant Others"

My name is Frank Thompson and I am the Webmaster of this site. Barbara
Thompson is my lovely wife.

I want to talk to all the husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, boyfriends,
girlfriends or any other "significant other." If your loved one has asked
you to read this section, congratulations on doing so. I have gone through,
and survived, what you are probably experiencing now and know that I can
offer some words that will help you to deal with it.

About two years ago, our family doctor recommended that my wife see a
nutritionist about her weight. The nutritionist suggested several plans for
her to lose weight, most of which were the standard: more exercise, better
eating habits, identifying why people eat emotionally, and taking prescribed
weight loss medication. One of the
suggestions, however, was for her to have weight loss surgery. I was
shocked. How could this man come up with this? Does he really know what he
is talking about?

My reactions then, were probably the same as your reactions now. I know what
most every one of you was thinking when your loved one told you that he or
she was considering weight loss surgery. I can hear your thoughts and your
words now as I am writing this.

"This is a major operation!"
"You are perfectly healthy!"
"You could die!!"
"What about the family?"
"What about just one more diet?"
"You are not THAT overweight!"
"How can they say that you are morbidly obese?"
"Why do something that will change your life forever?"
I could go on and on.

How do I know what went through your mind? I know because I had the very
same thoughts and emotions. I think that anyone who finds out that their
loved one is "volunteering" to undergo such a serious operation is naturally
concerned about the consequences of such a drastic procedure. I use the word
"volunteering" because at that time, I did not fully understand the "need"
for the operation. I was worried about how this operation would change her
life. I was worried about how she would feel when we would go out to dinner
with friends or when she attended a work
related function that was centered around food. I was worried about the fact
that some surgeon was going to literally change her insides. Cut some parts
here. Reconnect some parts there. This surgeon was actually going to
re-route my wife's intestines to places that God never thought about. I was
horrified. I was scared. I was speechless.

And with all my worry for how this would change my wife's life, I also
wondered how this would change my own life and our family. How could I eat
in front of her without making her feel bad about not being able to eat
more? How could we go out for dinner and a movie? How would I go on if she
had complications and died? It is amazing
how many thoughts go through your head when you are panicking about the
health of your loved one.

After I got over the initial shock, I was able to think a little more
rationally and talked over the options with Barbara. After hearing what she
had to say, I still could not accept the fact that she needed such a serious
procedure. After much discussion, I talked her into trying another diet. I
would help. I would go on a diet with her. I would do anything to avoid the
operation. Being the wonderful person she is, she agreed to try one more
time. She went on another diet and watched what she ate. She went to
nutrition classes. She exercised. She did all the things that the
nutritionist originally suggested except for the surgery.

She did lose weight but she was not happy and was in constant pain from her
back. This is when I started to learn about something called
"Co-morbidities. " Many times when people are overweight, there are usually
other problems happening now or problems that will develop in the future.
Barbara was in a car accident many years ago and has had back pain ever
since. The increased weight on her body was not allowing her to live life
without pain. Some days the pain was less. Some days the pain was more
severe. But there was always pain. This additional
problem that is associated with the weight is called co-morbidity.

Being overweight makes a person vulnerable to many other problems like
diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attacks and something called sleep
apnea, when the person actually stops breathing when they sleep. Barbara
didn't have any of these other problems then, but being overweight made her
a prime candidate for developing these
problems in the future.

Another problem that is not classed as co-morbidity is "quality of life."
Barbara was not happy about her weight problem and the ever-present back
pain. She missed going shopping with our daughter, Erin, because she could
only walk for a short time at the malls. She felt bad that she could never
fit into the slinky outfits that she wore
many years ago. She loves playing golf, but her back would be screaming at
her after playing only nine holes. Playing 18 holes of golf was absolutely
out of the question. She was taking prescribed and over-the-counter pain
medication, going to a chiropractor several times a week, and even got
treated several times at a pain center at
a local hospital. She was told that the treatments would give her some
temporary relief but would not cure her problem, as long as she was heavy.

The turning point for me to accept weight loss surgery was one day when I
found Barbara in the kitchen and in especially great pain. She was crying
and sitting in a chair with her head hanging low. She looked up at me with
her beautiful blue eyes that were now red and full of tears, and said that
she was tired of being in pain all the time and wanted to go ahead with the
surgery. My heart melted. I looked her in the eyes and I knew in that moment
that we were about to take a new direction in our lives. I could not
continue to see the person I love most in this world, in so much pain and I
could see that weight loss surgery was the only way to ever find an end to
her misery.

Barbara had the pain, but your loved one may only be overweight. My use of
the word "only' should not be taken as an indication that there is not a
grave problem. To be considered for weight loss surgery, the patent is
normally 100 pounds or more over their ideal weight. We have a cat and buy
kitty litter in 33 pound containers. To get a full appreciation of what an
extra 100 pounds feels like, try strapping three of those containers to your
belt. Now spend a couple of hours trying to live your life. I would not be
surprised if you gave up after only a few minutes.

As the years go by and the person you love gets heavier and heavier, (which
is typically what happens), co-orbidities will surely develop. At some
point, you and your loved one will be faced with the horrendous fact that
the weight will never come off with conventional means, and the quality of
life will deteriorate to the point that there will be a spiral down hill to
early death. With every passing day you will notice only small changes and
think that there is not a big problem. But things will be slowly getting
worse until one day there will be a terrible disaster. It is absolutely
critical that something be done to manage the weight problem and it must be
done now. Any further delay will only add to your loved one's misery and
mounting health problems.

If weight loss surgery has been recommended to your loved one, I urge you
from the bottom of my heart, to open your mind to the seriousness of the
problem. Make an effort to educate yourself about all aspects of the
surgery. Keep in mind that your loved one is in physical and emotional
misery and desperately needs your help.

Frank Thompson

Good luck on your journey, if you have questions don't hesitate to ask.

Cathy

wow what a great post! Thank You for sharing this.  I am brand new here also, and just got my referral.  I love this man's letter!

Thank you for posting this!  I copied it off.

showed the letter to my mother.... shes just disregarded it and states i am too young and what if i ruin my life....  i am going to start stalking up on vitamins luckily because of my many attempts at diets before i have a magic bullet and protein powder left over sitting in a box with other failed methods  i have a sheet to get blood work taken  so i can get my referral... so i am hoping to sneak and do that (i live with my mother) i feel bad about doing all this sneaking around... but its something i really need to do for myself :/ i hope its the right frame of mind but i feel like this surgery could help me start my life and stop my weight from holding me back

Part of what she's feeling is fear.  There are a lot of unknowns out there until you come across them.  I think your first appointment will be the Orientation, suggest that she come with you to that.  If you can make it to one of the Support Group Meetings, take her with so she can hear from other people that have gone through this.

As for the pup, it would depend on how well trained he is.  Do you have any friends that you walk dogs with?  You don't really need someone to care for the dog, just be there with you when you go for walks.

Cathy

also another question how long before i will be able to play and walk my dog after the surgery? i have to start saving for a dog sitter and just wondering how many days/weeks i should expect to be out of the count? (my dog is an 80lbs rottie)