5mths

May 3rd was my 5 month since surgery. 

Holy Sh*t I am losing hair like crazy. THANK GOD I had super thick hair to start or I would be bald!! NO JOKE!! It's freaking me out!!!

I'm taking all my vitimins faithfully.

then on top of it, I only lost 3lbs in April and 3 inches.  Smh!

so frustrated!  Been sick over and over, exchausted w all of this. I know it will pass.

bit can I say, I'm not impressed w the follow up w HRRH .  Feel like I'm a number on a file, collect data and on to the next one. No at all what I thought. Being a social worker, I can honestly say I'm professional discussed by their support for counselling. 

Dr Hagan, has been AMAZING. I continue to be happy w him and his follow up care. Takes time to listen and have a discussion.  Unlike the dietiation and nurse. 

I'm down 80lbs, still have a lot to go.  I'm now the size of what some ppl are going in for surgery. Which it kick myself for, I shouldn't have waited to wake up at 430lbs, should have done it at 330! 

I don't come on these boards like I did pre op, cause now it really is my life 24/7 and my down time I need turn my brain off from this. Cause every f*cking convo I have at work will come back to my weight, what I'm eating, how much gym time etc. And no it don't matter if you tell ppl if you don't wanna talk about cause they will with or with out your contribution to the convo. And they watch... Everything!!!!!!!  No just co workers, family member etc. If I has a dime for every time I have hear, well you need to sure of what you are doing now if you knew before you wouldn't have had to had that done no would ya.

i don't care what ppl say.. Even the most encouraging friend and family members are judging us and at the right moment it will surface.

If you are doing this do it knowing you only have yourself to depend on, you have to be honest w yourself. Cause the surgery doesn't remove our brains!! Where 99.9% of the problem is. 

hey girl! long time no see.

You sound a bit down, sorry to hear that. The good thing is, tomorrow is a new day!

I was totally losing a bucket of hair then started in a combo of biotin, zinc, and florasil ( Heather did the research )

Anyway, it made a difference. Since then she has read about a product called Hair Volume by New Nordic......I added it to the above regime but was getting sick of all those pills on top of the daily vit's.

My new trial began today with just the Hair Volume.

Unlike you I didn't start with thick hair so I was totally freaked. The bathtub is no longer covered in hair at the end of my shower so something is working.

I go for my 6 month follow up this Wed. I am down just under 70 pounds and am thrilled.

Cheers

Terri

Agree with Terri....you do sound a little down....and frustrated....I am reading between the lines in your post.....and hopefully not incorrectly....if I am then ignore some of what I am going to say

- hair - I don't think there is anything you can do about this.....I would save your money....it will eventually end and your hair will grow back

- other people .......one of the reasons I didn't tell anyone other then immediate family....however that doesn't help you now.....some want to help you and some are just prurient interest....and its **** off......especially if they ask you what/why are you eating xyz.....etc.....I hope you are able to tell them ( especially family members) that they are not being helpful with their comments....and I hope you can just walk away from your co-workers....the most support you will get is here on OH...maybe spend more time on here to bolster your journey.....

- the past - you just have to forget it....yeah you got to 430.....no point in stewing over that now.....you are where you are.....and how great is it that you did finally decide to take control ...it takes courage to do what you did...dont ever forget that

- now the toughest topic....pounds ....first - I sure hope you have measured yourself .....how many inches....the last month that you lost 3 pounds did you go down a size?.....

second....I may be reading this wrongly (and what I mean re reading thru the lines).....are you slipping on your eating?....if not then ignore and please dont take offense.....its a lot easier to say nothing to people on here then to sometimes say the tough stuff....have you let too many poor carbs and less protein in your diet....try and examine what happened last month ....is it just your body taking a break?...or did you change your eating quality and quantity due to your frustration - emotions and maybe some diet mentality fatigue...if you did.....get a grip now and continue on your progress......

YUP - you do have a ways to go......but it is do-able...and you sound like someone who can take the bull by the horns and get it done...and that will surely shut up any non supportive family and friends.....

Good luck

Taking the negativity with a grain of salt is the best thing you can do. I have learned a lot about my family and friends that I obviously was completely oblivious to before surgery. I do my own thing..aware of the fact that people watch me and have vaious opinions. I own my decisions though..If I cheat and eat things I know I am not supposed to have..I admit it and move on. This is our new life, I suppose eventually at some point it will become normal for those of us around us..or maybe we will fill our live with people who didn't know us pre-surgery and we will have people stop grooming our choice with a fine tooth comb. You are doing great Manda! Onward and downward they say!

I can't really give you any advice as I am 2 weeks from surgery, but those *****sponded have given you great advice.  I just wanted to tell you that I think you have done great-- we both started this process around the same time and I remember when you use to frequently post.  You do sound a little down, and that is not the Mandalious that I remember.  You were always such a little firecracker.  I just hope you can find a way to deal with everything and get that fighting spirit back.  Please just try to remember why you did this and who you did this for- YOU!  People will always find something to say or someone to talk about..its human nature.  Please pull yourself up, hold your head high, and concentrate on the successes you have had and the ones that are on their way.  You got this girl!

Vicky 

I am struggling... Big time.

I know I'm not eating enough. I have been struggling to swallow to be honest. I seems to developed a reaction. If the smell catches me the wrong way, I won't be able to swallow what I'm eating. Could be something I love and have eaten a hundred times, like turkey roll up. ( turkey deli meat, cheddar cheese and  gerkin pickle)  last night, I got completely turned off while eating it and had to spit it out. 

Its just strange. 

I am so tired of the attention. I get told by co workers " you are so bubbly and can talk w you about this stuff" when I really am so sick of talking about it. Stop checking me out and talking about me like I'm not there. Friday, I went to area of my office to discuss a file, the two co workers ignored my question completely and started talking about how my shirt is fitting me different. How one saw me at the grocery store on Break and she was looking at my thighs. What a difference since the fall. REALLY? REALLY? F*ck off! 

Just so sick of it. There is a hell of a lot to me then just my damn weight!  Hate that this dominates my life. I JUST WANNA BE NORMAL. :(  

when ever I talk to my family ( all out of province ) they always ask about it. Which I get, cause I'm not around for them to see. But I talk to my mother daily, does she need to ask daily???!??? And then I'm the bad guy when I tell her to stop asking daily. Smh

i booked a plane ticket to go back home in July. I'm getting emailed from family members saying they can wait to see the transformation. " OMG you are gonna be skinny"

I just reply, I'm still a very big girl and have a long way to go! But they reply, you can't be that big you lost 80 lbs! Smh. They don't have a clue. Now I don't even wanna go home, cause it will be an entire trip of being inspected and talked about in front of me like I'm not even there. I know they will be disappointment, cause they are thinking I'm gonna be "normal" size. Cause this surgery was a cure all don't ya know!

i lost 3 inches over all in April. Maybe my body is taking a break. Keeping the motivation up is extremely hard, and will have to start to pay for counselling. HRRH is not supportive in my eyes for counselling, which is a big cornerstone of overcoming obesity.

losing 80 lbs at my size has made a difference. But it's not the same as somone who is 280 losing 80lbs. So I haven't dropped mad jean sizes. If anything I hate my body shape even more now. I have lost most of my weight from my top part, now I look like two ppl slapped together. My butt, thighs and legs are disgusting huge and my top apart has slimmed down. 

Yeah.. I'm not in a good headspace at all. 

Keep you head up!  You have made progress.  We started off around the same weight (I was at 416 lbs), and I get the whole disproportionate weight loss thing.  I lost all from the top first, and even now, after reaching a normal bmi, my legs are still larger -- not huge, just slightly disproportionate to my top side.  My calves in particular are still quite large.  I've come pretty much to the end of my weight loss, but I think my body is still redistributing.  I started running in January, and though my weight loss more of less stopped (maybe down a 1-2 lbs in the last three months), my calves have lost about 3 inches each since then!  So the changes are continuing.  It will happen, you just have to keep working at it, and trusting that your body knows what it's doing.  And by the way, losing belly fat is the easiest to lose, it's also best for your health!  Less belly fat means less risk of heart disease and stroke...so keep that in mind.

As for other people, it does go away eventually.  They will get bored of the topic du jour.  And soon, there will be new people in your office who didn't even know you way back when...and so the only person they will meet is the current version of you...and that's always fun!

Keep your goals in mind, and don't get discouraged.  Remember, you're not doing this for anyone except yourself!  (I know...easier said then done...but try to remember that!)

DD

Manda first let me say im sorry that you are feeling so down.  You have worked hard to lose 80lbs.  Its just the beginning.  You are only 5-6 months from major surgery.  Yes anyone that knows we have had this surgery are all waiting to see the grand transformstion and dont really understand how hard it is to get this weight off.  After all this surgery is only a tool to aide us in losing weight.  Some are waiting for us to fail.  The good thing though is we dont have to answer to them.  Tell these people that you dont want to discuss your progress with them and that  if they cant see that then thats their issued not yours you are trying to get back to normal and that its not healthy to dwell on the surgery.  Tell them that you are trying to move forward with your life.  Be proud of your sucess so far this next few months will be successful for you.  This is only a glitch and everone I've talked to says that weight loss after this surgery is like stair stepps.  You lose and then you stall then you lose again and then you stall again so Hun I would say you are right on track.  Stick to your plan.  Your ticket is bought get on that plane with your head held high.  You deserve this.  Remember your body is the ship and you are the Captain and your ship is just waiting for your direction.  You got this girl.  Dont think that you cant do this because you are doing it just like you have been doing for the past 5-6 months.  Hoe you feel better soon.. Faith in the plan and dont forget to enjoy the journey.  Thats what its all about.  :-)   Val

Thanks for all the encouragement and kind words. I know better days are coming I know.

I would like for them to be NOW tho!

I keep repeating to myself that I'm a work in progress .

I think counselling is key for my journey and mental health.

the biggest thing I have found in this journey is hard putting myself first. Learning to be loyal and devoted to putting myself first and doing it in a healthy way. Boundaries... Wow. 

Mandy, I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. I hear what you are saying though. With 20+ years of nursing, I don't think I have treated anyone like a number. I have had appts at Humber where I have felt like that. 

Dr Hagen has been absolutely incredible & supportive. My anxiety was sooooo high & he helped me more than he probably realized. I just got my ultrasound results from my GP today so he will get to once again do what he does best.  Thinking of you!