The negative comments one gets whaen waiting for surgery

I am sure some of you have come across less than supportive comments. Lately Ive been told that RNY creates a disease (not sure what they meant nor did I ask) and that I should just lose it on my own. Other comments, its a cop out...you could die etc etc. So unhelpful when I am inching closer to surgery :(

Kind of makes me more determined to have it and prove them wrong !!

Don't listen to them. I have never heard RNY creates a disease. You may have some complications, but that is just like any other surgery. If you could loose it on your own, you wouldn't have needed this surgery. Yes again just like any other surgery there is a chance of death. But you could also die if a bu**** you. Tell all the negative people you don't want to hear it as they are not educated to what this surgery can do for you. Keep your chin up, and ignore them. They are not worth your worries. Good luck with your surgery, I will save you a space on the bench!!

It's your life and your choice.

Which is exactly why I chose to only tell a handful of people when I decided to go through with the whole process. I don't want to hear the negativity. They don't know what it's like to walk a day in my shoes.  I had my surgery 2 months ago and I have no regrets. 

Good luck to you and your journey! 

Kim

Some people just lose that filter between their brain and their mouth. What possible good would anyone think would come from those types of comments? Ignore it.

Have been told horror stories about someone they know who gained all their weight back or who can only eat soup now, etc.. I have been asked if I can postpone surgery until after the busy time at work is over, as though it were purely cosmetic. People are very supportive when I tell them stomach surgery, but their attitude changes when I tell them it is a bypass. Some are dismissive and less sympathetic, which is not easy to take.  I just tell myself that a year ago I would have also been skeptical .  I limit who I tell and have only told 5 people and my family.  Everyone else I just tell them it is stomach surgery, and usually there are no follow up questions.  Hang in there!

My husband's family is the worst! My husband is approx. 40lbs overweight. This is him telling me this, but I love him either way. And then there's me who is approx. 180 lbs overweight. OKAY BIG DIFFERENCE! Why I'm telling you this is because my husband's family is very critical of this surgery. They have never been overweight a day in their lives, AND they have the audacity to tell me what I should be doing with my body. But, because I am a big mouthed opinionated woman who has always stood up to the HATERS, I put them in their place (politely I might add). 

I find that people who have not gone through the surgery themselves, or do not know someone who has gone through it, or who just aren't educated about it at all create this idea in their head that it is the easy way out, lose it on your own, surgery is dangerous, you're just lazy, blah blah blah. But I have found that like anything else in our society this is a STEREOTYPE. Lack of education (no matter what the subject) causes tremendous ignorance in people! We just need to educate them about the surgery and let them know that this is your body and you are making the best and healthiest decision for you! If they wan't to decline the offer of you letting them into your world of this surgery process then so be it! 

You MUST prove them wrong, and you WILL! These people who have never experienced the physical, social, and psychological trauma that comes with being overweight, could not understand it one bit.

In my opinion, I would try to educate them. If they shut you down, then don't inform them about your surgery process at all, and focus on the people that are supporting you. Because you will need all the support you can get through this process, and after surgery. 

Chin up, YOU CAN DO THIS! 

xo

-Michelle

the worst comment I got before surgery was from a woman at my work who has mood swings from hell on a good day... she made a back hand comment that I will probably turn into a "high and mighty ***** when I get skinny"  EVERY DAY I worry about that, and EVERY DAY I wonder am I being socially kind enough to everyone and not acting like I'm too good for my own skin now...... it's actually mentally wearing me down some days. And her mood swings just continue on.............

I think you need to consider the source of the comment and not lwt it get you down. I am sure you are the same person just thinner.

Every surgery has the potential to have complications. This is major surgery. However consider if you do not have the surgery. Being over weight brings many complications.

Diseases linked to Obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, cholesterol, certain cancers, deterioration of joints, diabetes, sleep apnea.

These are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I am sure there are more. This surgery is for your health and to lengthen you life. You will have to make lifestyle changes that are not easy. So it is in no way a cop out. The surgery is just the beginning of the work to be healthy.

Hey

Whenever I have self doubt, I try to get Billy Joel's song "My Life" in my head...an excerpt:

I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life and leave me alone

Everyone has a story, obesity is sometimes predisposed by genetics, personal trauma, lifestyle, sometimes what your own family does philosophically with food/exercise-lots? none/ (Hands up to all, for me!). A lot of learned behaviours support it as well. Sometimes you just need focus and support. As I am starting this, pre-op, I am feeling mental changes. With the intensified support, for this goal, by the Guelph program, I am already making changes with good results. It's not like bam! having surgery makes the difference....it's the process NOW in pre-op. 

You need to feel proud and strong about improving your own health, extending your life, being in charge, focused. 

Sometimes I will say, about my life..."There's a book there"  You know everyone's life is a book.

You write yours. To hell with the critics. Seriously.

C.