I'm the New Guy

Hi Everyone,

I'm Scott, I've been overweight as long as I can remember.  I've tried almost all the diets - High Protien, Low Sugar, High Fat, Pills (Xenical, and commercial "try it and you won't believe the results!" pills)  two years ago, I lost about 80lbs in about 3 months,  then it plateaued for a LONG TIME, and I gave up, like I always do.  I then put on 150 pounds, and i'm currently at my heaviest ever, at 450lbs.  

I can't do anything right now.   I can honestly see why all those people on the TLC fat shows just lay in bed.   It's painful to get up.  I have cronic back pain, and my legs balloon up all day, which are painful.  I have uncontrolled Asthma, and just going up the stairs makes me feel like my heart is going to explode!  I need a change.

my 'doctor' put in a referral to see a Bariatric surgeon last November.  i'm really hoping this happens soon.  I went to this clinic in the past, but was set hard on believing, I got myself into this mess, it's my responsibility to get out of it.  I've realized now, that it's not so bad to ask for help once in a while.  i'm too far gone right now. I need help.  I have two special needs kids who both suffer from Epilepsy and Juvenile Arthritis.  My oldest son has an intellectual disability, and I feel with the condition i'm in right now, i'm leaving a very unfair life for their mom/my wife.   I dream of dying often - and that sucks.  I look at it as, by me not asking for help,  i'm endangering my family.

Just looking for any sort of advice for a guy in my position, and looking to meet anyone who has been here.  

thanks for reading my post everyone.  

Best, 

Scott

Hi Scott, 

Welcome to the board.  Glad to meet you.  This will be the start of a wonderful journey.  You'll get an amazing 1-2 years to get off the weight as much as possible.   You'll be blown away by how you will feel, how the weight is dropping and by how powerful you'll feel.  

You will need to be patient in this journey. The wait will be a while.   Most centres have at least an 8-16 wait time depending on where you are.   

Use this time to make changes now to the best of your ability.   When you get weighed in at the centre, that is when you need to start.   Changes are KEY.   

After a year or two, in many ways you'll be like you were BEFORE surgery.  If you ate for reasons other than hunger, those reasons return.  Eventually if you don't make key changes or change the food you eat, you can regain very single pound.  Many do.  So start improving yourself now. :-)

im Dawn and almost 8 years post op rny. If I can ever help you, add or message me.  This board is an awesome place to be!!

Hi Scott. And welcome to the Ontario forums.

I'm pretty new in this journey myself, as I'm only 6 weeks out from surgery. I've learned a LOT from reading these forums and soaking up the knowledge that is in here. There's some great advice and tips for getting you through the tough times in here. My advice is to get to know the SEARCH functionality (the little magnifying glass in the top navigation bar) and to read, read, read often.

As Dawn mentioned, there's frequently a long wait from referral to surgery so use this time to get to know the changes that will be required of you and to deal with any issues that may have lead you to be where you are at the moment. I hear from some of the veterans that is the hardest part.

As for looking to meet anyone who has been where you are... we all have. In some form or another, we all came to a place where we recognized that we cannot do this alone and we need help. So we finally worked up the courage to ask for it. We all want something better for ourselves, and we're here working for that, and leaning on each other along the way.

Nice to meet you. Let us know how things go. Oh... a question for you: have you spoken to your wife about your hope to have surgery? I am crossing my fingers that she is in your corner too! All the best for now!

Hi Scott, welcome to the board.  Here you'll find lots of support, advice and honesty.  If you haven't heard from a centre yet, contact the Bariatric Registry to make sure that they got your referral with no problems.  This is a slow process, but it's nice to know it's been started.

As Dawn said, have patients.  This is a big hurry up and wait game.  Some things can be rushed, other things can't be.  And don't compare yourself to others, it's very hard to do, but you need to do things at your speed, not someone else's.

The biggest comment you'll see around here is "why didn't I do this sooner". 

I wish you well on your journey,

Cathy

Hi Scott,

have you been to an orientation meeting yet? If you have and are waiting for appointments, you should call and let them know you will take any cancellation appointments if you are able to.  They are very good about accomodating people when they can.  Good luck on your journey, I got my surgery date the other day its Oct.  will be almost a year to the time I went for my orientation, I probably could have had it sooner had winter not interfered with my travel down to Toronto.

I can tell you right now...start journalling everything you are eating...try weighing and measureing as well because the dietitian is gonna want to see it!!

You will get there!! dont give up!!

Good luck!

Hi Scott and welcome :)  It is apparent from your post that you care deeply for your family. It also sounds as though you have come to the point where you are ready to make drastic changes to better your health and improve your life. Sometimes desperation to live is the rock bottom we need to feel in order to ask for help. There is a ton of help on this site. Lots of information and opinions to sort through. I found it helpful to make contact with my family doctor and get a referral to a bariatric clinic (mine was St. Joe's in Hamilton). That way as I explored the possibilities suitable for me,  I had professional support from a social work team, nurses, nutritionist, etc. Having become severely diabetic, having high blood pressure, severe sleep apnea and after having a small stroke - all before age 40 - I realized that losing weight was no longer about fitting in, looking good and being socially acceptable to others. It became a fight for my life and for my quality of life. "Sanity not vanity" became my slogan as I remind myself each day that my life, my family and my health is what I'm fighting for. I have always said I would do 'anything' for my family - well...taking care of myself is the hardest battle as I have to care about myself as well - and that's kinda new for me. :)

All the best Scott. Enjoy the forums. One thing I recently learned was that if you click on the little magnifying glass in the right upper line, you can search any topic. For example, certain types of surgery, etc.

Just wanted to say welcome to the forum and congratulations on taking action to improve your situation. 

It takes a lot of guts to ask for help and is a sign of strength. 

Be sure to let us know how things are going with you. 

Hi Scott and welcome to this forum!  I don't come on this site very often anymore as my life has gotten very busy.  But reading your post I felt the need to reply in hopes I can give you some inspiration and hope for your future.  I know from my experience how much courage it took you to write your post and I understand more then you will ever know!  Before I had my surgery I weighed 564 lbs.  I was so limited as to what I could do and was missing out on so many things I dreamed about doing.  My life has changed so much, I have lost almost 300 lbs and what a thrill it is to do things for the first time again. Simple things like wearing blue jeans, being able to go up and down stairs, walk without my walker, being able to fit behind the steering wheel and having the seat belt fit me again. Getting in and out of the bath tub, and being able to fit in chairs, seats and booths.  I went to a concert and movie for the first time in years, I finally fit in the seats again. 

This is a huge lifestyle change, but it has paid off for me in so many ways, I have built my self esteem and confidence back up again too. I have faith you are making the right decision and l truely wish you all the best, somedays can be discouraging and it feels like the waiting will never end.  But be patient and follow what they ask of you, my only regret is that I didn't take care of myself sooner.  It was always easier for me to take care of others before myself, until it got to the point that I was either going to die young or have major complications from being overweight.  Somedays I think it might have been easier but l couldnt give up for myself or my children and grandkids. Hang in there, and don't be too hard on yourself, your not alone my friend!      

Welcome, Scott! I wish you success! I hope you stick around so we can follow your journey!

hugs, new guy. You've come to the right place. We'll help as much as we can. hang in there, your life will be amazing.