Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your insights :) I guess because I have explained my new rules for eating before (to each of them, together and separately) and got the same reaction as if I were explaining string theory, I just gave up and stopped caring whether they were supportive/interested in my surgery or my new lifestyle. Normally I would have gone with something for the group to share (a salad or veggie and meat tray) but these friends have a long standing agreement that we rotate who's house we go to, and no one has to bring anything except booze, if they want it. That worked fine for everyone until now. The last time they were at my place they complained about my rabbit food, although I did grab a couple bags of chips for them and had a great big caesar salad... I guess last night was just the last straw for everyone. I got a text from one of them this morning saying sorry they ganged up on me, but I've changed a lot in the last few months and yadda yadda. The classic, "I don't like how you're gaining self esteem and confidence and leaving me behind" thing that I've heard a million times from other's who have lost weight.

Long story short I think the best thing is to start slowly distancing myself. It's been a long time since I got anything out of these friendships, and when you leave someone's company somehow feeling worse about yourself, that's a sign it's time to re-evaluate. It would be one thing if this was the first time I'd been confronted about my new lifestyle, but I guess last night was just the biggest one. 

Anyway, thanks so much everyone for all your opinions and support - I can always come here for some clear-headed thinking!!

This really bums me out. I wish your friends were inspired by you, and supporting you along your journey! I know it can be tough to let go of people in life. Just know that if you're looking to hang out with some new people, I'm always up for meeting up and chatting!

As my mother use to say, "Listen to everyone's advise and then take your own." Reading your replies its clear that you're a smart cookie -- or should I say carrot ... whatever you choose to do will be the right path for you.  Take Care  

Some people have no consideration for others. We were at a team hockey party for my daughter a couple weeks ago, most parents know, as a couple moms asked if I was alright after xmas with the rapid weight loss and thought I was not eating etc so I explained and got big hugs from them. Anyway at the party they brought out KFC ( never a fan) pizza etc nothing for me but the hostess brought out a small salad for me, and didn't the girls all come over and start eating it which was fine as I can't say no, it was sweet of her. Ps she is a window and was flirting which may be why but made me feel good. I bought her a nice bottle of wine for thank.

I have had my friend with a similar story about one of his good friends. He has a big bbq every summer at cottage lots of people , sleeping bags etc, food, meat and alcohol. One year about 6 years ago his friend asks if this new girl he's been dating could come ( never said no to anyone) and says she is a veggie, so he orders from veggie dishes as he is a meat eater like most of us. Never gets a thanks. Next year she is his girlfriend same thing. He thinks what ever. .  Now they have a party on Labour day weekend that same year we are all invited and its all veggie food, and we ate it , and it was ok but we all thought why is there no meat. The next summer they come again to his party , lots of people like the veggie food so he orders a bunch and also brings brings meat salads its bob but always has bottled water and pop  etc, We all have a good time.  Same yeat they host a going back to school BBQ for kids and friends and again no meat. My friend is pissed and he thinks this is so inconsiderate, so do all of us but don't say anything , he does. He leaves after seeing no meat. His friend asks him why he is leaving and he tells him and his girlfriend how he feels hurt and mad and basically she say how she doesnt care as eating meat is what uncivilized people do to animals ( parafrazing). One of the wives hears this and we confront our friend and he says nothing. We all left and never talks to him again for the most part, might say hi if we see him at rink or park etc but thats it. also he married her. 

long story there are some people who will never change and some who will bend over backwards for you. 

first off a friend that is offended because you can't eat and have chosen to make your life better..simply because you brought your own wrap needs to get over themselves

I usually eat before I go and then nibble if there is something to nibble or else I bring something potluck that is healthy for me and that others might try...and more often it turns out that people love what I bring and are so suprirsed that it's "healthy~!.

If these people want to eat that way, you're not telling them don't you are simply providing for  yourself...so like I said you have done nothing wrong...and don't let the bullies get the best of you~!!

  If they have never struggled with their weight they can't appreciate how difficult this whole process is..even 5 yrs post-op...it's conscious effort each day not to steer TOO far off track.  I have to wonder if those "friends" you are referring to have ever been on a diet or bought a diet book..chances they are and they truly need to be more aware of the positive changes you are making.~!

Stick to your guns and just explain that you aren't trying to offen anyone, but eating that type of food, could cause you serious problems.~!!

I think you did the right thing. Any true friend would understand and praise you for your willpower. She will get over it. and friends would have considered your diet options in the first place