When there's nothing to eat

.It's okay to bring your bottle to a party so why is it bad to bring your own food?

I think some people don't have a clue about how the surgery works.I think they figure you can eat crap but just in smaller portions. If you have another get together again with people I would maybe make something you can eat and to share with them.I am sure someone else at the party doesn't want to eat crap either. I am sure they would be relieved there was something for them to eat as well. 

Yesterday I helped my sister with her 2 year old and 5 month old twins. I am still pro op, but she tried to feed me. Breaded chicken with ranch dressing. Lovely but no. So we ate together, I just ate my just in case snack of sunflower seeds. She knows about the surgery and felt bad she couldn't feed me. I said look, I have to eat a certain funky way, I don't expect you to have it on hand. We're good. I even brought my own water. She laughed and we had a good visit. 

Same thing happened when we all went dress shopping for her wedding. They went to Zaxby's to eat. Fried everything ! So I grabbed my beef jerky out of my purse. They felt bad, we can go somewhere else. Please eat. I AM eating. Finally I said its fine, really. But they felt bad... Maybe your friends did too, but instead of owning it they lashed out. Because you are strong enough not to bow to the peer pressure. And they are sure they couldn't do it.

Give them a chance, explain what your needs are and if they are truly your friends, they will understand. It is totally not rude to bring your own food, they should have been more considerate to your needs. I would tell them that you were hurt by their reaction towards you.When I am in certain situation and start questioning what is happening in my life, I always go back to this poem, and then decide. Hope this helps in some way.

JK

Life Is A Theater

Invite Your Audience Carefully

Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a DISTANCE.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least minimize your time with, draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention.

Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of Your Life.

"If you cannot change the people around you, CHANGE the people you are around."

Remember that the people we hang with will have an impact on both our lives and our income. And so we must be careful to choose the people we hang out with, as well as the information with which we feed our minds.

We should not share our dreams with negative people, Nor feed our dreams with negative thoughts.
It's your choice and your life..... It's up to you who and what you let in it......

This is perfect for soooo many reasons!!

Very True ***Cheers***

Since they invited you as a guest they should have considered your needs. I always make sure there is a variety of food and make items I know all can eat especially if I know if someone has a health problem. If someone does not tell me then I feel bad but ultimately it is their responsibility to let me know there needs. Having said that I would not be offended if they broguht their own food. It would be nice if they brought enough to share so everyone could try it.

I'll bet part of it was that they were feeling badly about themselves too.  You mentioned that you have all been overweight together for a while.  Seeing your succes, willpower and happiness may have them reflecting on their struggles.  Add in the mob behaviour and you have trouble.  I'll bet if it was just one friend at a time you two would have had a conversation more in depth about the WLS process and restrictions.

It's time to educate them ... maybe it's a chance for them to make a change in their lives too

V

I agree with some of the things said here by others. Sometimes we need to re-evaluate who we have in our lives. 

If it were me, I would sit down with them and explain things to them. If they don't care or understand, then maybe try stepping back from the lifelong friendships. I have had to do that, I felt better for taking the step forward and ridding my life of the toxic people.

I have been in these types of situations before, as I am sure we all have. I simply look at all the food that there is and pick things apart.

I agree with Nanato, I would have ate the topping off the pizza, it's protein. I probably would have ate the chicken (I find sometimes a little grease, helps me "go" to the washroom, sorry if that is TMI). Also, I carry foods with me. protein bar, fibre bar, water. Depending on where I might be going, I take other things too; banana, grapes, I also take cheese and crackers. If I have premier protein shakes, I will stuff that in my purse too. Foods that are small enough to put in my purse.  No one has really said anything about me having my own foods and if they had something to say, it wasn't to my face. I would just tell them "where to go".  lol

You did nothing wrong. Your friend was totally deflecting the "blame" from her to you. 

Good for you Katie.  I have great supportive friends, but when it comes to things they don't understand, well then it can become an issue..like food.  Once I was on Bernstein and my vegetarian friend couldnt understand why I couldnt eat her pasta and bread.  She felt I was depriving myself, and a few bites wouldnt hurt.  (absolute no no on Bernstein )...Another friend's philosophy is that just because I am on a diet, the world doesnt stop eating around you, and she would eat anything and everything in front of me...until the day she had to diet, and realized how hard it really was.  I am still pre op, but I have tried to educate them for the past year, on how things are going to be for me from now on.

Sometimes its just that they are uneducated.  Sometimes it is jealousy.  If I had been your friend in this situation, I would have apologized for my oversight in not having something for you to eat.  I would have been upset with myself, NOT with you.

If you had a peanut allergy, would your friends expect you to eat peanuts??! 

Hang tight, you are doing this for you, and if they don't understand, or even try to understand, then they are not true friends.

You got this girl!

Vicky