What I Should Have Written in Changes..., My Last Post.

Hi everyone,

I should really have written more in my previous post - the one in which I included 3 photos of myself - biggest, big, and current...

I should have said that knowledge, as they said in a certain early 1980s cartoon intro (G.I.Joe - I'm dating myself now!) is half the battle; the rest is emotional.  Knowledge will get us close to our weight loss goals and we can't get there without following the 'rules'.  I learned this during a recent 3 week period of extreme stress and sadness caused by the illness of both my parents and our dog.  I stopped eating much; I often only ate when I felt dizzy and weak and even then didn't usually consume much protein, which is exactly what we all need.  I ate little protein, and too many carbs relative to my protein intake, and my weight loss all but stalled.

Emotionally, I was out of it for those 3 weeks, and although I do experience real hunger (and have done so since about 3 months post-op), my real hunger is easily satisfied, but my emotional head hunger cannot be satisfied by anything I could permit myself to eat.  I did stay within the permissible diet, even when I was eating too little. 

I learned that I had to divert myself from my depressing, negative thoughts and feelings most often by swimming from 1 to 2 miles a day, but sometimes stamp collecting was enough - it's more exciting than you might think.  There's another thing I did wrong for those 3 weeks: I rarely exercised to my capacity.  Sometimes I would let 3 days go by and not do anything at all.  Because I ate few grams of protein and too many carbs, and got only sporadic exercise, I managed merely to lose 3 pitiful pounds in those weeks, but I'm lucky I learned my lessons early on in my journey and wasn't faced with the horror of weight gain so soon.

We really have to have our heads screwed on pretty well before we have surgery.  We have to learn to deal with the horrible things life throws at us sometimes in stride too, or at least live off 2 or 2.5 protein shakes a day until we feel better when something major happens.  Before we have surgery, we must try to learn alternate, healthy ways of dealing with stress and sadness other than by eating.  Before we have surgery, we have lots of time to prepare meals designed specially for us from the recommended cookbooks.  We also have time to stop our bad habits like binge eating.  I see a therapist, who has been my main cheerleader throughout my journey.  Maybe, seeing a therapist is a good idea, if you can fit some appointments into your schedules.

Also, I can't say enough for this forum and the support lent to me by my angel Monica, my friends, and everyone on OH.  I've also been to a number of York Region support meetings and I can't say enough about them.  I would make support groups a regular part of your week or month, and attend the ones that you can.  It's wonderful to meet people and talk face to face with them about WLS and the journey.  It's also nice to meet some people on the OH forum in person as well.  Don't try to walk this tough a journey alone.

Maybe, the main point I wanted to make to pre-ops is, if I can do this, than so can you, so can anyone!  If you can stick to the rules, your life will change in a myriad of miraculous ways.  Don't be afraid of the Opti, and don't be afraid of the surgery, and don't be afraid of you new, post-op life. 

One thing I forgot to mention in my last post was that my resting pulse pre-op was 105, and when I was nervous it went to 135.  Now, my resting pulse is 72, and when nervous, 77.  I now longer have palpitations.  Those are major NSVs for me!  My pulse was so high, I had to see an internist at PATTs and have another EKG done by her.  Luckily, she told me, "your heart is very strong".

Thank you all for your kind comments about my previous post!!!!

Good luck to everyone, and I hope my posts don't ever come out as 'preachy' or caustic sounding.  They are never meant to be that!

Jenn.  :)

GREAT POST Jenn....sure sounds like you've got your **** together.......

I am sorry for your recent troubles....but you are right....life throws them at us....and we need to learn to deal with things.......

SO important that we find a way to get back on the horse  when the crisis passes......

I see you posted this in the middle of the night.....so it must be affecting your sleep.....sure hope things improve on the home front

Hi Birdiegirl,

I'm so glad you liked my post.  I meant to encourage everyone - whether they were dealing with everyday or extraordinary struggles or just nervous being normal pre-ops.

I do get very fragmented sleep now, often only 4.5-5 hours max at night, so I try to get a nap in during the day.  The crises haven't passed you - far from it, but I'm back on that horse and the scale is moving again.  :D

Jenn.  :)

Although you've had challenges -- you've persevered.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, insights and lessons learned.

Hi Libra1,

Thank you for your kind words.  I'm sure everyone else knows so much more than I do at only 5.5 months out, but I did learn how important it is to never go off 'plan', and to deal with stuff and still get in all that protein, etc.

Jenn.  :)

Great post. I do wish I did CBT before surgery. I had plenty of therapy, but still never dealt with the real issues at hand, and it all came crashing down two nights before surgery. I think there is a lot to be said for us to be advocates for more "head help" before surgery, and plenty more after.

Congrats on seeing that so early out!

PS - my resting pulse was also high that my monitor wouldn't stop beeping when I was in the hospital. My BP was so high they almost didn't do the surgery, and the list goes on.

NOW - 2.5 years later I had to have an EKG done because my resting heart rate is low (45). LOL Love it!

Hi Kelly,

I'm glad that you liked my post too.  There certainly is something to be said for 'head help', and I wonder why the centres don't emphasize that more?

Your resting pulse is that of a marathon athlete!  Congratulations on that amazing NSV!! 

Jenn.  :)

Jenn you know I am always here for you!  You are stronger than you realize and a true inspiration for many.  You have done so well with your new "gift" and I admire you.  I hope you manage to get some rest and that things calm down for you at home.  I know it isn't easy!!

Hi Angel,

I know that you're always there. 

I have discovered undreamt-off reserves during my latest crises.  It's bad enough to be under so much stress from too many things going horribly wrong, especially when you can't change them, but it makes it twice as bad when you only get 4.5-5 hours of sleep at night and have to try to get a quick nap in during the day.

Thank you for your kind words, I don't think I'm actually "an inspiration", I just am trying to encourage people along the lines of, 'if I can do this, you certainly can do it too'.  Everyone has a wealth of inner strength, it just takes some people, like me, longer to find it in trying cir****tances.  I thought I had everything going along very well until just about everyone got sick at once, then I realized I needed to dig way deeper to continue down the right weight loss journey path.  And no one should be ashamed for reaching out to help, on the OH forum, from friends, family, or therapists.  Life ain't easy sometimes.

Jenn.  :)