The age old adage "If you don't have anything nice to say. Then don't say anything at...

Some may wonder where I am, and why I am not posting. The title says it all but I will take a few moments to ellaborate.

I found the negativity on this forum at the time I stepped away was seeping into my soul. It was making me a self entitled ***** What can I say... Sometimes other peoples attitudes rub off on us and I don't want, or need to have that happen.

At the end of the day I spend time on forums participating as a member of the community. I needed to take my time away a good 4 weeks prior to when my "give a damn busted" and I walked away.

I posted how I was feeling. Many whom I think highly of told me it was "ok" to take a break from something I was doing purely as a volunteer (that which had been keeping me on the forum). Clearly I needed more time than many realized, and still require less time on and around the forum. I have simply been able to re center myself and feel that OH can fit in my life again. In moderation.

Please understand there are a great number of people I really enjoy on this forum... But there is no room, and no need for toxic people in my life so I pulled back and focused on myself, my family, and those I see in my day to day life. A number of them are members of OH (past and present).

I do not agree with so much of what members are posting. The all or nothing mentality I was seeing. The belittling nature of posts. People posting with the sole intention of inflicting pain and punishment.

Yes I've said some pretty snappy things on this forum, and held my own in a couple *****y threads... But when someone is asking for help I am tired of seeing every person jump n the "kick them when they are down" bandwagon.

I don't agree with how many people blatantly go against everything the dieticians tell us in the program we are in. I don't agree with a lot of the hard line mentality. I can't agree with it because I have seen what happens to friends when they can no longer live the extreme lifestyle they thought they needed to adopt, and on resuming something closer to plan their body can't cope with what is a more realistic expectation.

At the end of the day if you get your protein in, your water/fluids in, and you are eating in moderation... There can be some allowances made. The only time I will snap is when I see someone who can't/won't meet their basic requirements saying they are having things they shouldn't.

Shell

P.S. Tomorrow I am going to have a big, ole piece of cake (who am I kidding I share a piece with 1-2 other people) cause I damn well can. I am sure that will get me blocked by more people because it is a heck of a lot further down the line then 5 chocolate covered almonds but it will be factored into my day and accounted for in my week. I do that every day and every week with any food I want in moderation and I am very happy with 3 lbs a week loss on average (I worked damn hard to bring that down to 3 lbs as 4-5 lbs was too fast and causing undue stress on my body and my mind). This is a lifestyle change people not a diet. I am 32 (very soon to be 33) and I didn't sign up for a fad diet. I signed up to live a happier, slimmer (not skinny) life with smaller boobs.

Good post Shell!  I was just asking Trisha where you had been lately and I agree with you with regards to some of the posts that you see on here.  We are all here for the same reason and no one is perfect.  Like you said we have to live our life and meet the requirements they give us but you are right-we have to do this the rest of our lives so having something here and there if you really want it is your choice.  No one should judge you.  Great job on your weightloss!  You sound like you are doing well.

So very well said Shelley, it's nice to see you back. I've been living by the same mantra lately and find myself viewing fewer and fewer threads on here for the same reasons. I still hear the advice you gave me when you visited me in hospital and share the same opinion of my new lifestyle....it's the first time since the age of 7 that I'm not on a fad diet looking for the first opportunity to binge cheat.

 

Well said.  I have been on here reading for about a year now and I totally know what you mean about the bouts of negativity.  Good to see you back and hopefully we will see more of you in the coming weeks.  If you need any help on the admin side of things let me know.  I don't mind helping out. 

Cheers,

K

Hi Shelley.  I totally understand what you're saying.  I've met a troll or two in OH and was happily blocked by one.  That sure fixed me.  LOL!!!    Anyway, just keep on, you don't owe any of us an explanation and I like you just fine. 

Totally agree on the negativity lately. At times I am amazed at what I am reading. Almost all of us are from Ontario, going thru similar experiences with a similar back story. And yet, it doesn't feel that way. Everyone is different, I get that. But before anyone posts anything, they should be asking themselves "is this going to help? or am I just spouting?".

Your voice has been missed, I always enjoyed your posts. They were well written and well researched with lots of great advice. But I do understand what you are saying. So much is changing for you. You don't need any negativity to seep in. Change is stress in itself.

Hope that there will be something where we can meet up. Thursdays in Mississauga won't work for me until the summer. Maybe there will be another lunch.

Glad to know that you are doing well. Would it kill you to post a picture? lol

Here, here! Very nice post and I agree

I don't understand people that are so restrictive with their diets. I didn't have this surgery so that I would be on a diet the rest of my life. I want to eat "normal", as in, everything in moderation. A bite of dessert a couple of times per month is not going to kill me! Having potatoes or pasta at supper time is not the end of the world. As long as it isn't a mountain of those items.

I do protein first, followed by veggies or fruit and starch/grains. I get my fluids in and take my vitamins. I can do this and see being able to do this the rest of my life. It doesn't feel like a diet to me. If I cut out carbs and the occasional treat, I would eventually fall apart and eat very badly, for a very long time. Probably putting me right back to where I started from.

Yes we have restrictions and rules to follow, but I know I never heard in any of my classes or the information handed out to me that I couldn't have these items, as long as it is in moderation. That is the whole point. To eat "normally". No more diets!

I am with Shelly i don't do negativity . As for food i am living a healthy life style i eat from all food groups and do have a treat here and there .At 7 mons out and at goal.

I don't get this post. From the title, to what seems to be a thread of negativity.....?