Separation

Joyce J.
on 12/6/11 12:42 am - Scarborough, Canada

Hi Kelly

You are in my thoughts my friend, but you will get through this. Of course the beginning will be the hardest and especially around Christmas.
With my 120 pound weight loss I gained a lot of self esteem and self confidence and left a marriage that should never have been in the first place.
No children(just cats LOL), so of course I have no advice there. Likely they will adjust easier than you
Now the same year that I had the huge divorce battle my Mom(my biggest supporter and absolute best friend) died

Please please please watch your eating habits. That was my big problem. Luckily I have kept my 120 off but have another 80 that I should be losing as well
Getting back into bad habits is one thing, getting back out................ a whole new ball game
Talk to us, keep posting. Post in the "What are you eating thread"

Take care hon
Hope to see you soon
J

Joyce----Today is the first day of the rest of your life

kellybelly333
on 12/6/11 12:57 am - Toronto, Canada

RNY on 03/23/11

Thank you Joyve. You are so right. I don't like thinking that my marriage never should have been, because I have my wonderful children as a result. And, although there is a lot of pain that i've dealt with through food over the years, there were a lot of laughs too.

Yes, it is the eating that i'm worried about. So far, it hasn't been terrible. I had two days of poor eating, and i'm back on track today.

Posting here and reaching out is my first step.

xoxoxxo my friend!

Kel

Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!

ROSIESMILE
on 12/6/11 1:22 am

Hi, I seperated from my boyfriend 10 months after surgery.
We did not live together but I can relate to the loneliness.
I had friends sending me text messages to ask about my menu. Skipping meals has always been my faux pas. Pre and post sugery.
I also increased my gym time, and it was impossible to work out without proper fuel.

I ate a lot of greek yogurt with Go Lean Kashi cereal.
I bought pre-chopped veggies and fruit as well.

kellybelly333
on 12/6/11 1:32 am - Toronto, Canada

RNY on 03/23/11

HI rosie. Thanks so much for the tips. I am heading to the gym tonight!!

Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!

Moselle
on 12/6/11 1:52 am - Athens, Canada

RNY on 12/29/10

I don't have any sage advice other than take care of yourself because you are worth it!

Reach out anytime you need it and one of our many Ontario OHer's will always be here for you.

Take care and I wish you all the best as you try to find your new normal. Hugs, Muriel

kellybelly333
on 12/6/11 9:50 pm - Toronto, Canada

RNY on 03/23/11

Thanks Muriel!

Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!

Toni B.
on 12/6/11 2:59 am - Sudbury, Ontario

RNY on 01/19/12

I'm not separated, and I am not even post-op yet -- but I had to comment. I am so sorry that you are going through this. About 7 years ago I lost a bunch of weight, and the end result was the end of my relationship at the time. I had been with that guy for 6.5 years and almost married him.

For me, when I lost the weight I found myself again...and I realized that I deserved better than the schmuck I had settled for at the time. In hindsight, it was a blessing. I ended up meeting the man of my dreams, and I am still with him today... even though I currently weigh more than I did when I originally met him.

I know relationships end for all sorts of reasons, and it the emotional toll is one helluva burden. Please do take care of yourself, and one day at a time it does get easier. And there might just be a silver lining to this dark cloud, it's just too hard to see it right now.

Toni..."Bravery is not the absence of fear, but the will to overcome it"
www.fatgirlchangingherworld.com Twitter:@fatgirlchanging
Surgery JAN. 19th, 2012 - Down 120 lbs & 75 inches @ my last Weigh in!!!!

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kellybelly333
on 12/6/11 9:53 pm - Toronto, Canada

RNY on 03/23/11

Realizing that i'm worth more is a real eye-opener for me. Realizing how much I didn't think I was worth it....even bigger. But I am...dammit!! lol

Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!

Sher1ock
on 12/6/11 4:30 am, edited 12/6/11 11:08 pm - Canada

RNY on 07/20/11

I've not been in your situation, so can't give you the benefit of experience, but I do want to send my support. Decisions being right or healthy don't make them any less painful. By looking after yourself in this very difficult time you will be showing your kids that the world can change, but doesn't end and that being healthy requires looking after yourself both physically and emotionally. If the life you have isn't the one you would want for them when they grow up, then it isn't good enough for you either.

There is a forum dedicated to relationships post-WLS, and I'm sure you can tap into some good resources there, as well as relying on all of us.

Hugs to you and your family. I'm sure this is a scary time for all of you, but it is also the perfect opportunity to reinvent yourselves. The evenings that you are lonely and miss them will hopefully become time that you can dedicate to yourself, without taking anything away from the kids. How long has it been since you've been able to do that?

kellybelly333
on 12/6/11 9:56 pm - Toronto, Canada

RNY on 03/23/11

"By looking after yourself in this very difficult time you will be showing your kids that the world can change, but doesn't end and that being healthy is requires looking after yourself both physically and emotionally. If the life you have isn't the one you would want for them when they grow up, then it isn't good enough for you either."

Amazing!!! I love reading those words. Thank you so much for that.

Last night I ate well, and slept well. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel already!

Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!

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