Separation

kellybelly333
on 12/5/11 11:30 pm - Toronto, Canada

Well, it's been a long time coming, but my husband has moved out, and our week on, week off, with the kids started this week. I have spent two nights without them, and it is very hard and lonely. I didn't eat properly, because I didn't plan. I didn't plan two things....dinner alone...and being as sad as I am. Even though this is my decision, and I am at peace with it, it still hurts.

Anyone else go through a separation after surgery? What did you do to cope?

Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!

joanne_1970
on 12/5/11 11:42 pm - Harriston, Canada

RNY on 09/01/11

When I met with my surgeon to discuss the risks of surgery he said #1 was gall bladder problems which don't apply to me as mine was already removed. #2 divorce He said it is very very common after WLS, also dosen't apply to me as im single. I can see how this could happen for a number or reasons though.
Sorry its tough though. My son left for university this year so Im having some issues with the cooking and eating alone thing but im so sorry your also having to deal with missing your kids.

kellybelly333
on 12/6/11 12:47 am - Toronto, Canada

RNY on 03/23/11

For me, it was really not being able to eat that "helped" me with my decision. Now, at almost 9 months out, I have to watch that my past coping mechanisms (foooood) doesn't creep back into my life. It's a learning experience, that's for sure.

Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!

Dianadcr
on 12/5/11 11:47 pm - Canada

I'm really sorry about what you are going through now. My prayers are with you that you hang strong.

kellybelly333
on 12/6/11 12:47 am - Toronto, Canada

RNY on 03/23/11

Thank you so much!

Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!

jdance
on 12/5/11 11:47 pm - Canada

RNY on 06/29/10

so sad you are going thru this.
can't offer any words of wisdom but sending a cyber hug...........

kellybelly333
on 12/5/11 11:55 pm - Toronto, Canada

RNY on 03/23/11

Thanks everyone. Yes, i knew going into this surgery that it could ultimately end my marriage. I knew it even when I was on my brief stint with Optifast. I couldn't deal with his lifestyle anymore (huge long story, but I put up with a lot) and I couldn't eat to cope. I panicked and told him that if I couldn't eat, then what would happen to us? So, it's not a big shock to us. And we did go to counselling, but more than anything I learned that I deserved more. It looks horrible to write that, but I am learning that it's true. I am lucky that he is a good dad to our kids. Learning to be on my own is a whole new kettle of fish for me. Thanks again for your kind words!

Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!

Mary A.
on 12/6/11 12:11 am

VSG on 10/28/11

Sorry you are going through this rough time Kelly. It sounds like you made the right decision for you - and as we know, the most important person to take care of post-surgery is YOURSELF, so that you can be there for your kiddies.

Maybe try to use the time when the kiddies aren't around to catch up on housework, cooking, etc so that you have more quality time to spend with them when they get back! Or just take a "you" break - whatever you need to do! Good luck :)

kellybelly333
on 12/6/11 12:49 am - Toronto, Canada

RNY on 03/23/11

Last night I watched TV and ate popcorn.....both very unproductive and bad habits to fall into. I am glad to recognize that mistake, and i'm scheduling myself for the gym and pork tenderloin for tonight. :-) And...well, maybe some housework too...lol

Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!

Mary A.
on 12/6/11 1:50 am

VSG on 10/28/11

MMmmm! Pork tenderloin! One of my favourite pre-op meals.

Good attitude Kelly! You can't change yesterday but you can change today :)

Separation

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