Maybe I'm being over-sensitive...

isn't it nice to be part of the world again?

I"m wondering how much of it is people not noticing or engaging us, and how much of it was us not wanting to be noticed or engaged.

I'm not an ostrich anymore, more like a pea**** now!!!! (damn them boy birds for having the lovliest feathers)

Absolutely.

I noticed men opened doors for me as well more often.

I think it's a dual thing -- it's not just them, it's US. 

You are feeling great and being more active. I bet you are smiling more, having more open body language, and so, when you feel good, you emit a good postive energy.

Before surgery I didn't smile as much, didn't give off energy, rarely made eye contact with people.  I think once I started feeling good about ME I also became more attractive to other people, you know?  

Going by crowds, I would tense up and just pray someone didn't make a comment about how fat I was.  Strangely enough, I still at times wait for "those" comments passing by a group of teen boys. They never come anymore though. LOL

Dawn

You are all so right.  I think alot of it has to do with my own attitude and rising self confidence.  It's an eye opener when you are so used to trying to be invisable.  Now I have taken off my invisability cloak and I am definitely engaging more often.  I don't know how I will handle male attention if it comes.  How do you handle it?  Do you tell your husband,  joke about it? 

It can be awkward for sure. I generally don't get men hitting on me or anything but I do notice more flirting for sure.  I'm not good at that and reading signals so I often don't realize these things when it happens LOL.

For many men, you need to reassure them.  My husband is a big guy (he's going to have WLS himself soon) and so at first, it was a little hard on him and definitely he had a little insecurity come out when I first lost weight.   You have to reassure your husband if he's the type that needs it.   Before that I was always the jealous one and it was weird to see the reverse with him being a little worried of men picking me up and stuff. LOL. It was really strange to be honest :) LOL  I'm sure that it will be the same when he has his surgery and starts to lose weight and develop more confidence like I did. LOL

Dawn

I totally agree with Laura - some of it has to be your own self-confidence making people sense you as more approachable.

I think everyone goes through the period where even comments and compliments are seen as insults.  It's part of the journey of accepting who you are and who you were before, even though you're essentially the same person on the inside.

I used to get angry with comments like "you're looking so good now" or "wow, I barely recognized you"  Because it reminded me how awful I looked and felt at 412 lbs.  The anger was directed at the complimenter because it was as if I wasn't worthy of compliments at my original weight.

When I brought this up with my family and explained how I was taking the compliments because they noticed I would shudder when complimented, my aunt honestly replied "We compliment you now because you looked like **** when you were fat!"  Brutally honest, yes!  Appreciated yes!

Heck last night I went out for dinner with a friend and the waitress sat down at our booth and flirted with me, asking me for my number - when I showed her the picture of my hubby (wedding ring no longer fits and can't be resized due to the pattern so I wear it around my neck), she blushed BIG TIME!  That would have never have happened at 412 lbs.  6 months ago, I would have been offended and angry with her.

However that anger would have been misdirected and should have been directed at me for allowing myself to get so unhealthy in the first place.  During this phase, you feel that you're still the same person inside as you were before.

But in reality, you aren't.  The entire weight loss process is a transformative process throughout ALL of you.  Phyiscally (obvious), mentally and emotionally.  I have found willpower that I never knew I had, I have found confidence and belief in myself that I buried by eating and wearing clothing that covered my body.  I've accepted who I was then and have mourned the loss of that person while celebrating whom I have become NOW!

When I think of the person I am now, compared to the person I was this time last year - I HAVE changed.  I'm more sociable, I get out more, I'm more comfortable in being intimate with my spouse, I exercise and am physically active daily.  Compared to the layabout homebody I was last year and more markedly 2 years ago.

You are sensitive for a while, but you learn to accept the compliments, comments and yes, sometimes, flirts.  You just have to accept who you were pre weight-loss and who you are now first!

Well said, Myke.

Hit on by a waitress, huh.  You dog, you!!