Just need to tell somebody & my family does not support me

I have called the doctor for my first visit to set this ball rolling. I wanted to have the lap band but ohio medicaid does not pay for it so I have decided that I will have the gastric bypass. I need to do something! I can't get in until July, that is the killer. I finally decide to do this and I have to wait just to see the doctor. Then they tell me there is at least a 6 month wait for Medicaid to approve you. So I am not looking at surgery til 2006....My family does not support me in this. Everytime my 130lb mother hears me talk about it she starts to tear up and doesn't want to hear it. I know she's worried because it's a risky thing to do BUT I have to do something. My boyfriend and father to my children 6,2, & 10 months is completely against me even talking about it, let alone going through with it. But this is for ME. Everything else I do is for everyone else and I feel like time is running out, not to mention any enery that I had in the past is gone. It is painful to get up and walk and with the three young ones and three older ones 24,23,13 and a 2 year old granddaughter I want to be able to enjoy them and spend time with them doing Normal things the way an average size person does.. Well enough venting...I just wanted someone that appreciates the whole thing to know that I'm finally on my way!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Debbie I'm sorry to hear that you don't have a good support system. But this site is very helpful you will make friends on here and you will have the support you need. I think I will be getting the RNY also. Anthem BC/BS won't pay for the lap band either. But just like you I have to do something I've tried everything else to no avail. I'm glad that you are on your way I wish you the best. Feel free to email me anytime. I don't know much yet since I'm still pre op but what little I do know I'll be happy to share!! Roxxy

Wow... it sounds like you have your hands full! Yes, you definitely owe it to yourself to have this surgery if it is what you want to do. My family was very much against me having RNY surgery in the beginning, but, as time went on and my co-morbidities became more of an issue, I now have their blessing. The way I figure it, if I DON'T have the surgery, I WON'T be around long enough to enjoy life with my family, anyway!!! Yes, it is a bit scary. However, I feel in my heart that it is what I need to regain my health and be able to live a more full life. It is the tool that I need to finally get control of my life-long obesity issues. I want to live life to the fullest, and am tired of always sitting on the sidelines!!! I'm expecting to get a surgery date any day now, as I am finally approved after 9 months from when I submitted my paperwork to my insurance company. I decided to pursue this surgery almost 1 year ago, but, had been contemplating it for about 2 years before I started getting more serious about it. This board is a good resource!!!! It really helps to know that other people are going through or have been through what you are feeling. The folks that use this message board are great and will help you in the process any way that they can.... I've watched all of the support that goes on here, and it is WONDERFUL!!! Thanks to all.... And, I hope things work out for you!!! Hugs, hugs, hugs, Karen

You are not alone. Many people have walked before you. Many are walking beside you and some are behind. All of us share common traits in that we care about each other. Remember that. You have people willing to help. Many of us answer questions. Find a local support group to bring family members to so they can see the success stories. Good luck and post away.

Hello Debbie, My wife didn't want me to have the surgery. Nobody knew how I felt. I finally told her that I was doing this with or without her. She is now happy I went through it. It has improved my life drastically. You have to do what is right for you. YOu have our support anyway. When I didn't have it at home, I had it here. GOod Luck, Richard

I wish there was some type of way that we could have those who have not had a weight problem be able to feel the emotional and physical strains that our weight puts on us. And if you need to do this for you do it because you could wait to long and wishing you had done something for yourself is all that you will have go with your gutt good luck in your quest to be healthy..

Hi Deb Just a suggestion ... can you get involved in your surgeon's support group PRIOR to your surgery? It may help you build supportive relationships that will also help you through your surgery. My mother was opposed, DH was opposed. But eventually they supported me because they realized my mind was made up. I hope your family will come to terms with this too, so they can help you. Best wishes, Kitty B. RNY 12/13/04 251 Then - 173 Now - 145 Someday

Debbie, There are things you can do to get all the paperwork and tests in order to submit to medicaid prior to seeing the surgeon. Go to the post on 5/16/05 from Vickie "GTKY". click on her name and read her profile. She went through medicaid. e-mail her. She is willing to help any medicaid patients get through the process smoothly. Plus Vickie brings a little sunshine whenever she posts. Her wit and wisdom in this process are appreciated. Good Luck Luann

I am also awaiting surgery and like you I had no support from ppl when I started this process. As time goes by and my family realizes that I'm doing this with or without them they have become somewhat more understanding. I hope maybe your family will also come to understand that this is YOUR choice and their support would help you tremendously but I also hope you stay strong and with or without them you do this for yourself! Just remember........you have lots of support here! Best wishes! Email me if you would like to talk. Dawn