help

I need all of you. I had a breakdown last night to my husband and I need to know if anyone else ever felt this way. I guess when I lost this much weight my husband would be so much more attentive.He always (35 years)Has been a wonderful father,husband and the kindest soul I have ever met. What did I expect? I almost feel like I dont know ME anymore. I look in the mirror and do a double take and say whos that? 98 lbs and I look very different.I know its great but who am I? Its like the person I was is so gone. Everything didnt change around me,just me. My husband is the same and hasnt changed a bit.Can anyone tell me if this is normal or do I need a doctor right away lol? Thank you,love Cindy

CINDY, I THINK THIS IS VERY NORMAL TO FEEL THIS WAY. I MYSELF HAVE LOST OVER 215 PDS . AND I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT ALOT OF PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW WHAT WE GROW THRU. THAT'S WHY THEY SUGGEST THAT PEOPLE SEEK A THERAPIST, BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE CAN'T DEAL WITH. YOU'LL BE OKAY LOOK AT ALL YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED. HOW'S YOUR SON DOING WITH IS WEIGHT LOSS TAKE CARE

I was so happy someone responded Jimmy/ You look so wonderful. I am glad its normal but I think I need to go to a therapist. I need to find one Monday. I felt so safe fat if you know what I mean. I was in my own little world and now I have to face the big world. Do you know anything about P.J. ? I am on the phone trying to get a hold of Sandy at University. Thank you so much,love Cindy

I THINK PJ IS STILL AT THE NURSING HOME BUT DOING BETTER. SHE CAN'T COME HOME TILL SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. HOPEFULLY THAT WILL BE SOON IT'S BEEN 8 MONTH SINCE HER SURGERY. I KNOW SHE HAS LOST OVER 120 PDS. I REALLY NEED TO TRY AND GO SEE HER BIT I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY. I KNOW SANDY IS HAVING A ROUGH TIME I THINK THEY SAID IT WOULD BE 2 EEKS BEFORE SHE ETS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, BUT HOPEFULLY SHE'LL HAVE A B ETTER LIFE ONCE THIS IS OVER

Oh Cindy...(((((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Just to make you feel better, I am on a week of much needed mental health break right now. Fortunately for me Earl has been right there with me going through it too, so he can relate, but yes, we go through so much mentally on this that it is almost overwhelming and scary. I have bipolar disorder, so needless to say my meds had to be adjusted for absorption reasons and lately with my daughter having this chronic illness (mono since Oct) tonsils out on 4/14 and this past week kidney stones, coupled with my work pressures right now, a son who is schizoprenic and bipolar, and my other daughter dealing with bipolar and ocd and in a teenage crisis right now...I thought I had literally reached my breaking point. Too many things in my head, too many goals and things I want to to because I feel so on top of the world, I just hit the overload button....that's when my psych said I want you off work for at least a week to regroup and get things in order, and to adjust to another med and tweaking my old one. So, my dear friend, don't feel like you are facing this alone. You are not, we all go through such a physical and emotional change that it can be overwhelming and dealing with those feelings are so scary and intimidating. Especially when we change so much and others stay the same. I would HIGHLY advise getting a counselor and just unloading this to someone who is unbiased and outside the bubble, as I like to say. You will be suprised how cathartic that is and how much you will learn about yourself. It is money and time well spent. Afterall look what you have done to make your life so much better, it's ok to need help with that adjustment. I still have fat days. I swear I panic over gaining the weight back, and I still emtionally sometimes feel like that old Val. Then I look in the mirror and go WOW I am not fat anymore. Part of my issue right now is this stupid obsession with plastic surgery and trying to save the money. I have to keep reminding myself to look at what I have accomplished and that it won't make me a better person. So, if I can't get it done right away, so what. I have reached my goal and it's ok to have some skin right now. It is my remider of where I have been and how far I have come. My hubby loves me just the way I am. That's golden, and priceless. He loved me fat, he loves me thin with baggy skin. ( hey that rhymed!) I guess I rambled again...oh well that's just me! Take care, go see someone to help you sort it out and know that we all feel you, and understand you and love you all the more for it! BIG HUG! Valerie

Dear Miss Cindy, I know I am too early postop to even be able to voice an opinion that would matter, But I care about you and I am going to do so anyhow. LOL You need to find a trusted friend or a counselor to talk to. I feel that maybe you are feeling like there is no possible way anyone else can understand how you are feeling. And unless your husband has ever been morbidly obese, chances are he never will. I cant imagine what its going to be like to look in the mirror and see half of me. I cant wait, but I pray to God I can deal with it. It is funny that even though our families love us, suddenly we have the surgery and we arent LIKE them anymore. We cant eat the same things as them, we have to live differently. And even after only one Week. I see the resentment in my kids starting. Last night they were taunting me about ordering a pizza . They were trying to tempt me into craving things that were bad for me. And asking me if I was going to miss it. I knew exactly what was going on , and this was after only one week. I cant begin to know what you are going through. But I think you need to talk to someone on your side. Since these people who love us are putting us in another place, that is where we must find our support group. I hope i have made some sense, and Wish you the very best in your search for answers. Cindy you are a sweetheart of a lady and have always answered me with supportive answers and I really appreciate it. I just dont know if I am in any position one week post op to voice my opinion. Keep talking... Love and Hugs, Laura

Thank you so much for answering. It is not that Eric hasnt been supportive,he really has and helped me every step of the way. Its me. Yes he is the idea; weight ,excerises 4 days a week for 30 years and could never understand my emotions. I dont want anyone to have the wrong idea, he is my angel. Its all me and you are right,I need to talk to someone and will as soon as I find the right therapist. Thank you so much and how are you doing, I think about you often,.,....Love,Cindy

Cindy, I am doing very well and that scares me.. I am the person who things always happen to. And Its like I am holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop. I did great in surgery, great post op and my eating is going well. I want to yell from the rooftops.. I am so happy, but their is that part of me that is going to be a little afraid every step of the way. I think our weight wasnt the problem in our life, Just the outword symptom of what causes us to be a little wacky.. But really wacky people are my kinda people. Love ya Miss Cindy, Laura

Oh Val,what would we all do without you. You always have the right answers and I feel like a fool even venting when you are having all those problems. I am so sorry, and I will call someone on Monday. Eric is so wonderful but he could never understand ,never having any problems. I just have to find someone to go to. Thanks and love,love,love to you and your family.Cindy

Aw shucks, you make me blush! First...NEVER EVER APOLOGIZE FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!! I have a life long habit for apologizing on things that aren't my fault to begin with. That's what we are here for, to help each other. We all have our situations to deal with and sharing sometimes helps not only you put things in perspective, but for me as well. Seeing things written down, or just saying them aloud is the first step toward finding a solution. You help me too, by looking at everything from a different perspective. I am glad you are going to seek counsel. It will help. It is hard for those we love sometimes to understand, but it sounds like he is being supportive of you. I am blessed that Earl went through the surgery as well, but he's never been mentally ill, so it's hard for him to grasp it. He just says for me to do what I need to feel and get better. What more can you ask for? Eric will never understand it, there's no way he can, but as long as he is loving and supportive that's all you can ask him to do. MUCH LOVE RIGHT BACK TO YOU! Hang in there girlfriend. The sun's gonna shine just for you! Valerie