Support Groups For Spouses?

Are there any support for the spouses of WLS patients? My hubby is having a hard time adjusting to the "new" me. I had surgery 12/17/04 and have lost around 70 pounds. I feel great and have so much energy and increased self confidence. I know I carry myself differently and people have commented on how good I look and that I almost seem to be glowing. I don't know how to include hubby in this feeling. He won't work out with me even though he could use it. He thinks there is another man that I am doing all of this for. I am doing this for ME and ME alone!!!!! I want to get fit and healthy and live a long healthy life. How can I help hubby?

Pauletta, That sounds like a great idea. I haven't had the surgery yet but I suspect my husband will react like yours. Especially since he lost some weight and had an affair two years age. I am also doing this for me and me alone. I want my health and life back. If you find any books or articles on family's acceptance of the future new me please e-mail me. Thanks, Luann

You know, the sad part is that their problem is their own insecurities. We see this all too often when there is one person that has wls and the other feels like they are getting left behind. I agree there needs to be some sort of counseling for spouses/sig others. The are going to see you go through the "I'm 18 again" phase of your life that you most likely never got a chance to enjoy in the first place. It doesn't mean you are going to be unfaithful, you are just going to live for the first time. I am blessed that I have a wonderful husband. He went through the surgery too, so he knows how wonderful it is to be healthy. He never actually thought about me wanting someone else until another guy actually put that thought in his head. "Hey your wife is all skinny now, aren't you afraid she's gonna leave you?" He said not until you put that thought there. Earl loved me at my biggest, he knew me at my lowest points in my life. Why would I ever want to leave my best friend? I can love him more wholly now that I love myself more. If you had a strong relationship before surgery, then you should be able to work through all the changes now. He should embrace the new wonderful you! What a great time to spend together working out! Earl and I both powerlift, and I know the days we can work out together are so great. We have a great bond sharing that. What more can you do to convince him? I have no idea. My philosophy was get on the wagon with me and enjoy the ride, or get off. Sounds abrupt, but life is meant for love and sharing, not being jealous. Earl really likes to show me off, as I do him. We are secure in our marriage. I always felt if he was going to leave, he was going to leave and there isn't a daggone thing you can do! By the way... That is YOUR feeling, YOUR glory, YOUR triumph. Enjoy it. Savor it. How long have you waited to be in the spotlight?!?!?! You EARNED it. He should stand back and be proud of you and let you have your moment. Don't ever let anyone take that from you. So, you go workout...hey join us on the bodybuilding/weightlifting forum...and be happy. If he truly loves you he will put that petty jealousy to rest and be happy with you! Hugs!! Valerie