I cried yesterday.

I cried yesterday. Not just a few sniffles, but one of those long heartfelt cries. I had an appointment with the other PCP at the practice. If you remember, the first doctor gave me the ole "eat less and exercise" last year when I came to him for help. Well the doctor yesterday did the same thing. Except this time he was "nice" enough to recommend Weigh****chers. He said that I could do that and expect to loose 2 lbs. per month. I did the quick math in my head and calculated it would take 5 years to loose the 120 lbs. I need to loose. I sat there in shock. I tried to steer the conversation to bariatric surgery and he flat out told me he only recommends patients that are 200 lbs. overweight. I told him that's what I wanted. He said I wasn't a good candidate and pretty much walked out of the room with a referral to the sleep clinic and to get my thyroid checked. No follow up appointment scheduled or anything. As he was winding up his "talking down at me speech" I began to cry. I was in shock that I had yet again been let down by another member of the medical community and told that my obesity was the result of my failure to stay on a diet. I didn't expect to be overcome like that and felt so very weak afterwards. I'm usually a strong assertive woman and I let this Prique walk all over me. As he walks out the door he says in a cold voice, "I'll close the door so you can pull yourself together." As soon as I got made it to the car I called my husband who spoke so comforting on the phone. He said, "That's just one doctor and not the one for you. We'll find the doctor that will be on your side and fight for you." I tell you, this man I married is sent directly from Heaven above. He is my rock, my hope, my best friend and lover. I thank God for him everyday. So I headed home, put away all of my WLS stuff and dove into making my son's science project with him. Within the half hour I had raised my spirits by the blessings of my husband and children. Next steps. I'm going to print off the list of PCPs in my network and send them to Dr. Curry's office to see if there are any doctors sensitive to obesity they can pick out of the bunch. If that doesn't work, then I may pay to go to one who will plead my case for me. Also I'll make the sleep apnea appointment. Who knows, maybe I'll have another comorbity to add to the list! Keep fighting the good fight!

Natalie, I guess your PCP thinks he's smarter than the experts at the NIH who "made the rules". Don't sweat it, the guy's obviously not properly educated on weight loss surgery, and he sounds kind of like a jerk to boot... Dr. C The Deaconess Surgical Weight Loss Center Cincinnati, Ohio (513) 559-2545

Thanks Dr. Curry. I was thinking the same thing. I hate that his words spiraled me into such a state. I'm in management and am normal a very well versed and strong person. My normal reaction would have been to challenge him on the facts. My struggles with weight loss are such an emotional topic for me. I was crushed under the pressure. I plan to print off the documents from the NIH and send them to him. I hope the nice ladies in your office can help point me to another PCP. My company self-pays for insurance and they have a written exlcusion. I'm going to need a doctor's letter to get them to override the exclusion. If I can't find a PCP, does your office (you) ever write such letters? What would be the steps to getting that. I would be willing to self pay for an appointment with you for an evaluation. P.S. You may not remember me, I am the African American woman that was at Sandy's support group meeting you attended in November/December last year. You spoke to the group and brought a lap band for show and tell. Thanks, Natalie

Yes, we write letters like that all the time. That's just the beginning though to getting an exclusion overturned. Dr. C

yes-fight the good fight!!!! do not give up

God Bless you, and by all means keep fighting. I actually interviewed my PCP and flat out asked if she felt comfortable working with me. We have had a great working relationship ever since. Good luck and congrats on the wonderful support system you have. Darla

Of all the nerve...if for no other reason than the condescending talk and bad bedside manner, I'd be changing PCPs...His treatment of you was abomnable! I'm sorry you had to face that. Dr Curry is right, the NIH standards back you. My PCP is someone who's never been in a position to worry about 5 extra pounds, let alone 100 and doesn't really get why diet and exercise aren't helping me, but she's watched me struggle for 3 years, and though she is opposed to surgical intervention when other methods will work, she knows when they dont and has worked very hard with me to help me get approval and got my records to my surgeon within a day when they needed them. Trust your instincts and those of your husband...get a new PCP who knows his head from an ostrich feather! Good luck to you. Maybe if you asked the KY and OH boards about their PCPs, you may find one that is on your coverage list...just a thought I hope all goes well! Take care and let us know if we can help! Sheila

I am sorry that you are having such problems. I live in Independence and I see Susan Wenk with Patients First in Cold Springs. All of their Docs I believe support WLS. My kids and hubby see Dr Craig Sanders in Walton and I know he supports WLS as well. He is with Summit Medical Group. If you would like phone numbers email me Good Luck to you Sherri

Natalie, I'm so sorry to read about your visit with your PCP. What a jerk! I have been down that same road though several times. They tell you to eat less and exercise more and then you never hear another word on the subject. I just wanted to pipe in and tell you not to give up. There are some great PCPs out there you just have to find them. I have found a very caring and supportive one that I will follow out of state if he leaves Ohio. He has limited his practice to only diabetic patients now instead of just general family medicine. I had heard that if and when your diabetes resolves he would not see you anymore. I asked him about what I had heard and told him I would not have WLS and possibly cure my diabetes if he wasn't going to be my PCP anymore. He laughed and promised he still would be my doctor. I think he thought I was joking but I really wasn't. It is hard to find a good doctor sometimes but when you find one you like stick with him. Keep your chin up. Things will turn around soon. Brenda

Hang in there!!! I feel your pain. I have just started this journey myself and have already found that it seems it's going to be a very emotional journey. I recently visited my pcp to discuss wls with her and at first didn't get the response I had hoped for. She told me I am typically the person that believes they are a good candidate for surgery. My heart began to sink! I didn't want to break down but this has been a decision I have been thinking over for a couple of years now and have finally decided I'm ready. I explained this to her and then broke down and sounds kind of silly, but said I just want to go to be able to make a trip to the grocery store without my back killing me. I want to be able to play with my kids before it's too late and they are grown! To my surprise she said she would write my letter of medical necessity and do anything she could to help me. I was surprised but I think she got a glimpse of what I felt everyday. Your pcp did not handle your situation in a professional manner whatsoever. Even if he does not agree with WLS he could have showed some empathy instead of being a complete jerk! I wish you the best of luck and my heart goes out to you! I know you'll find a way to make this happen, just stay focused. Best wishes sweetie!