Educating The Ignorant
I have run into many people who know I had the surgery and I get several comments from both family and friends so I wrote this letter.
Dear Ignorant,
Yes, I did have gastric bypass surgery. Yes, I am still fat. The surgery is a tool and like any tool it does not work on its own. The surgery is also not a magic potion, I am not going to automatically be a size 3 and weigh 100 lbs. I have to work with this tool and use it as I have been instructed.
When we dine together, I am not trying to show off by eating only a small amount. I have a much smaller stomach now and it only holds so much. Please do not try to guilt me into eating more just because you are on your third helping.
Yes, I am quite aware of what I can and can not eat....QUITE aware 
This surgery is not for you who THINK you need to lose a few pounds. This surgery is a major deal. I gave it great thought and researched it as you should do. This surgery is for those of us who know (knew) we are obese and have life threatening illnesses.
This surgery is a life changing step for us. We can never eat as we did before. There will be some foods that we will never be able to eat again.
Eating chocolate and other things that are "no-no's" in front of us is very insensitive. It is even more so when you ask us if we want a bite, knowing we can't have any. Many of us will never be able to tolerate sweets again. Again, we are not trying to show off when we do not eat these things, many of us can't
I did not have this surgery for you, my husband or any other person. I did not do it "for a man". I did it for me. I was tired of my back hurting and my knees hurting. I was tired of being out of breath when exerting myself. I was afraid of dying way before my time from some obesity related ailment.
Why can't I eat that? Because it makes me sick. What kind of sick? Well, think back to your worst case of the stomach flu and multiply that by 10. I get hot, my heart beats fast, I get shaky, my stomach churns, I get a lup in my throat, my stomach churns some more. It is sorta like having a volcano erupt inside of you and it not being happy until everything is out. Is that a good enough description for you?
Was the surgery bad, you ask? For me, it was not. For many, there are complications. You really want to see my scar? Sure, there it is. Pretty, huh? Yes, I would have the surgery again. In a heartbeat.
Thank You For Your Interest.
(Yes, this is some of the things I have had to deal with from friends and some family members. I guess inquiring minds want to know.)
This surgery is not for you who THINK you need to lose a few pounds. This surgery is a major deal. I gave it great thought and researched it as you should do. This surgery is for those of us who know (knew) we are obese and have life threatening illnesses.
This surgery is a life changing step for us. We can never eat as we did before. There will be some foods that we will never be able to eat again.
Eating chocolate and other things that are "no-no's" in front of us is very insensitive. It is even more so when you ask us if we want a bite, knowing we can't have any. Many of us will never be able to tolerate sweets again. Again, we are not trying to show off when we do not eat these things, many of us can't
I did not have this surgery for you, my husband or any other person. I did not do it "for a man". I did it for me. I was tired of my back hurting and my knees hurting. I was tired of being out of breath when exerting myself. I was afraid of dying way before my time from some obesity related ailment.
Why can't I eat that? Because it makes me sick. What kind of sick? Well, think back to your worst case of the stomach flu and multiply that by 10. I get hot, my heart beats fast, I get shaky, my stomach churns, I get a lup in my throat, my stomach churns some more. It is sorta like having a volcano erupt inside of you and it not being happy until everything is out. Is that a good enough description for you?
Was the surgery bad, you ask? For me, it was not. For many, there are complications. You really want to see my scar? Sure, there it is. Pretty, huh? Yes, I would have the surgery again. In a heartbeat.
Thank You For Your Interest.
(Yes, this is some of the things I have had to deal with from friends and some family members. I guess inquiring minds want to know.) 
I couldnt have said it better myself. Everything you said is true for all of us. I can have a bite of something and I am ok. I dont pu**** though,I am scared. I have not dumped yet but I am not taking a chance. Thank you for telling it like it is. I am going to print this out myself and put it on my fridge so everyone can read it. Thank you, Cindy July 9,2004 -90lbs
Thank you so much for this post. I will be having my surgery next month. After reading your letter, I am going to type up my own letter and distribute them out to family members, co-workers, and friends. I will probabley go a little different by first educating them on the surgery itself, and then what ailments I have had, then prceed to really educate as you have done. That way everyone will know ahead of time, Back off. Let me live my life and use my tool, and become healthy at the rate my body will allow.
Thanks again,
Hugs,
Lisa
Hooray for you!!! I just have to figure people do not mean to be hurtful or rude, but rather they are just uninformed and probably raised with alot of the misconceptions we oursevles were raised with. Too bad they haven't been educated as well as we have made ourselves. Alot of it too is jealousy on their part and I truly believe that. Hang in there though, there are alot of us that are way more enlightened, and are there for each other!!!!!!!!
keep the faith!!!!!!
barb
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