An Apology to All:

To: Members of The Obesity Support Group From: Daniel 5150 Re: Apology After a period of reflection, I have come to the conclusion that a series of apologies are in order from me to each active poster and lurker of this bulletin board. In recent months I have come to think of many of you as many dearest friends and acquaintances that helped me through very troubling times. You were there to give me a pep talk in the darkest hour or to provide me guidance when it seemed the world in general was orchestrating to keep me from my goals. Words do not suffice for the thanks and gratitude I feel for your efforts on my behalf, but you have sincerest thank you to one and all that I had contact with. As many here have learned, nothing is forever and I eventually received approval for my surgery and am well on my way to being the me on the outside that I have always felt on the inside. Such jubilant emotions are difficult, at best, to contain and in a moment of such expression I chose to attempt a gathering of those in my local area at a public recreation for those that might be interested. Never considering for a moment that my actions would be offensive, quite the reverse actually, I was unaware that my action would be misconstrued as advertising for said recreation facility, rather then the joyous gathering of supporters that I had in mind. It came as quite a shock to me when my actions caused the deletion of my attempt at meeting my friends and supporters and further I was "advised" that I was no longer welcome within the bounds of this forum. I was devastated to the point of tears. Tears quickly transformed into anger and I lashed back. Foolishly and stupidly, I used inappropriate language and generalities for all to see. Shame was all I succeeded in fostering, rather then the sympathy that I felt was my due. Surprisingly, many of you saw through my anguish and posted such support in spite of my immature reaction. I again offer my deepest apology to all those I have offended. But, that is not the end of my compliant. It is my remaining concern that the moderators and administrators of this board chose a heavy-handed response, rather then an advisory e-mail detailing the error of my posting. I would have been able to edit my posting and learned the consequences such action can have, whether intentional or not. It has been my experience in life that such violations are lessons quickly learned and the one committing the act grows from the experience. What did I learn from this? Innocent mistakes are dealt with a heavy hand. While intentions can lead one into ruin, honest mistakes are obvious and a mature administration would conduct their actions accordingly, especially when one considers that the central meaning of this board is to provide compassion and understanding. At present I feel a great loss for the companionship I come to rely upon from many that frequent this haven on the internet, but I must now decide if such a place where I seek compassion and understanding is even in stock when actions such as those that were used on me exist so prevalently. For those of you that wish to converse with me privately you may do so at my e-mail address: [email protected] I cannot say whether I will return or not, but I did feel it was my responsibility to apologize for my offensive actions. Sincerely, Daniel 5150

Daniel, I am new to this site, and I do not know you. However, everyone should be forgiven! Sometimes without thinking we tend to do or say things that is hurtful to other people. Friends are few and far between, therefore what is more important, being angry or forgiving? I say to you, you are forgiven. It takes too much energy to be angry. Just remember how important friends are. Jackie

daniel; first i wish to say that i am trying to be very careful of my words, so that they are not misconstrued.evidently we have had a lot of that lately! i do believe that your initial post was NOT meant to be harmful; rather quite innocent. my reply must have been a shock as i truly thought that you understood the rules of these boards in re: placing hyperlinks, etc. i did NOT understand your post to be a "hey, gang-why don't we plan an outing to this place?" type of post. i am sorry. often the boundaries of these message boards lose something in the translation- no inflection of voice or eye contact of one on one. more; i was concerned that if one person were allowed to post info like yours, it would open the doors for so many more to post ads for their own businesses and events- we have enough to sort thru on a daily basis to be sure that we DO connect with our friends and supporters. in retrospect; i feel badly that i caused the uproar that ensued and have been very worried about your emotions and psyche at this stage of your recovery. i was very pleased to see your post today; simply to know taht you have not given up on OH completely. i know that ,often, we see things not as they are when we are tired or healing , and for that, i apologize for stresses caused. i certainly did not mean for my comments and actions to cause you to leave the boards.also; i was not aware of the wording, etc, used by the moderators when your post was pulled. i have never seen what is sent - and for that i feel they were too harsh. i do realize that you were thinking i am a moderator-which i have told you i am not. however; i do feel that an apology was in order after the lashing out on your part.it would have been very easy for me to have lashed back-it took a great deal, in fact, not to- however; nothing would have been gained from that on my part and i do not choose to be known as a person who tries to destroy others. a large flaw in my character has always been trying to help others and trying to make things good for others... your apology is gladly accepted. this entire site can be so useful to so many. whether we are in the learning stages about wls or in the actual seeking or are post op and sharing our mistakes and our triumphs. i do not wish to see that gone from the boards. please,daniel, i , too, am sorry.

What would make a moderator say that someone is not welcome here anymore? That absolutely makes no sense to me. I can see if someone had continued to make post after post of un-appropriate questions or statements. But... any one of us could have easily made the same mistake as Daniel. I'm quiet appauled at the moderators. Daniel, I am also somewhat new to the boards, but as I read your words, I know that I would only be missing out if you were to decide not to come back. Stick around awhile Angela

i agree- i do not understand why the mods would have been so harsh-- i too hope that he stays as we need him as much if not more than he needs us!

Just remember, our nerves stick out long berfore our ribs do. We don't know the whole story or what was written. I think it is time to let it die myself. Have a great day.

Daniel I hope you decide to come back. We all make mistakes and this board is such support I'd hate to miss your comments as well as have you particpate in the board. I do not remember seeing your post but it takes courage and humility to apologize for our mistakes. Please consider this a lesson learned and come back to us. I don't know enough to comment on the moderators but I would hope that they would contact the writer when they do something they feel is objectionable. It is their opinion and sometimes they can interpret something differently than I might interpret it. Let's just go on and don't miss the opportunity to learn, share, and enjoy one another. Sandy O

Daniel, This is only my opinion... but The impression I got from all of this you were attacked by members that posts on this board. That is wrong... If the forum of this board finds something negative or inaproperate they pull it. It is no one else*s responsiblity to attack or slam you. The forum will advise you of your error. I have noticed alot of harsh attacking going on lately on this board. Someone jumped all over this woman for posting recipes... We all have a choice of which posts we want to read or not. This is supose to be a SUPPORT group. Not a debate board...Who gave these people the right to be the Message board police... I don*t feel you said anything wrong. I can understand that advertising is not acceptable. Gee... we are human. As you stated you were contacted by the forum. It was taken care of... The pass few months I have enjoyed reading this board and the Main board. But I am getting sick of all this High school bickering... Let the forum decide what is acceptable or not. Let*s get back to supporting one another...Daniel sounds like you are just starting your journey. At time when you need others most... If you can*t find what you are looking for here... try the Main board or Christian board. Don*t back away now... we all have alot to learn from one another during their journey. teckerle