Post ops please help

How soon were you able to go about your normal routines after you had the surgery? Were the first few weeks hard on you? I am asking because 2 weeks after I have my surgery, my mom (who lives with me and my gramma) will be taking one of her so called gambling trips to AC leaving me alone with my 89 yr old gramma to take care of. This means getting up at 7 am every day, going downstairs and cooking 3 meals a day, cleaning, and cleaning up any bathroom accidents my gramma may have, then going back upstairs around 10 pm. (she also suffers from dementia) I love my gramma but I am just wondering if I will be able to do all this? I won't have anyone who can help me or God forbid if I needed to go to the ER. So any input would be helpful. Thank you. Doreen

I don't know about you but i was not feeling good enough to handle all that at 4 weeks out. I am 6 weeks out now and just getting back into the swing of doing housework. I think your mom either needs to postpone her trip or you need to be looking to have someone come in and take care of your granny for however long your mom is going to be gone. You are having major surgery and your body will take 6-8 weeks to recover. You stitches are not even going to be healed ny that time and you will not be able to lift your granny to and from the "potty" and help her if she falls......As for cooking, my hubby cooked for himself and the kids when i came home....I could not stand the smell of food, let alone look at it. Good Luck hon, I would tell your mom, very nicely, you cannot do it.....After all, you are the one having major surgery. I am sure you love both your mom and granny very much, but don't do it.....Patty

Thank you for your reply. I should have said that my gramma can go to the bathroom on her own but she sometimes has bowel problems where she makes a mess on the floor and I would have to clean it up. My 2 sisters have their own lives and WON'T help out so that leaves me. My mom has done this before and I was able to take care of gramma but I honestly don't think I will be able to this time. Maybe I should have my surgeon talk to her? What do you think? Doreen

hi doreen. i want to tell you that you shouldn't carry on those duties. like the one lady said, if you have to lift ganny to and from the potty or if she falls you could hurt yourself. i'm a nurse and my doctor wouldn't let me go back to work for 10 weeks!!! bending over to cleaning will HURT and make you feel uncomfortable. so my best advice is to ask mom to have visiting nurse's personal caregivers to come in and take care of granny for have ever long the trip is, or ask her to post-pone the trip. she should be able to understand if she is a good support person for you.

Hi Doreen, I'm two weeks post op right now. I had a lap RNY. I'm feeling pretty good, still a little pain and discomfort at my main incision site. Since I was starting to feel more like myself, a couple of days ago I started doing small things like unloading & reloading dishwasher (requires stretching), picking up stuff (requires stretching) and other small little tasks. I only did a moderate amount on Friday and Saturday -- today (Sunday), probably because I overdid it, my incision site hurts a lot more than it had and my energy level is very low. That you love your grandma is surely obvious! But this is way too much for you! Sorry for the drama, but there is no way that you could take care of your grandma at two weeks post op without seriously endangering your own health and your own life. DON'T DO IT!

I totally agree Doreen!! Even though I was out and about quicker than some I cannot imagine trying to care for someone like that. Bending will be difficult and cleaning "messes" may be hard. You really don't want to get a hernia and you may risk that if you do too much!! {{HUGS!!}} Tara

I think your mom needs to cancel or leave you money to hire a full time nurse or aid. I am 7 weeks out and I could never do that. I need the attention and I expect it haha. Seriously, a gambling trip is not worth you having any setbacks. Please show these messages to your mother, It shouldnt be your respondsibilty anyway. The casinos will always be there. You cannot take a chance. Put your foot down. This is your time to live so tell her to hire someone for your grandma. If the money is there for gambling,its there for a nurse. Cindy

Thank you all for your replies. I am going to talk to my mom on the trip to the hospital. Since it is a 3 hr drive she won't be able to leave. If that doesn't work, then I will just have my surgeon have a talk with her. Thanks to all of you! Doreen