I'm having my doubts

Yesterday I really started feeling doubtful about getting surgery.  I can't imagine not being able to eat!  I know you'll all understand what I mean there.  I really want to be thin and I want to remain healthy (no problems with my health right now, luckily, only fat), but I really want to eat fried chicken and ice cream and mashed potatoes and and and and.......The scary thing is, I know I will still be able to eat some of those things in moderation, but I won't be able to gorge and feel sooooooooooooo happy like I do now.  I know it is a mental thing and I am seeing my psych and talking to him, but, damn, I almost cry thinking about not having comfort food anymore.  I wish I had a magic mirror like Romper Room and I could see the future and how good it will feel.  I read posts on here and see problems people are having and wonder "is it worth it"?  Maybe I'm just feeling like this because I have planned and prepared so long--maybe too long--and left too much time for second thoughts.  I know the cravings might never go away, but will I be able to live with that? 

Keep working with your psychologist, because it sounds to me like you are not yet mentally prepared for surgery (and this surgery can be difficult psychologically even when you ARE prepared).  I originally looked into WLS 2 years before I actually had it... but knew I was not emotionally and psychologically ready the first time around.  The surgery (whether it be RNY or DS or whatever) is as much about changing your relationship with food as it is about the physical aspects of eating, digesting, and absorbing.  My concern is that, if you are close to tears NOW thinking about not having the comfort of food, you will be very unhappy after surgery.

I think it's good that you are looking at this now.  It is much easier to put off the surgery until you are truly ready than to try to work through a lot of psychological issues while you are also trying to adjust to your new eating regimen and your body is under stress from losing weight.

Lora

Hi Martha,

I know how you are feeling. I think about not having cheesecake and twix candy bars ever again, and it kinda freaks me out,but..I know these foods are not good for me now, and I think about if I don't go forward with my surgery and I keep eating the way I am, eventually I'm going to have more health problems and maybe a heart attack from being so over weight. It scares me to death to think that what I'm putting in my mouth can maybe someday cause me to have a heart attack. I have 3 kids, and I'm not ready to lose my life and leave them without a mom just because I want cheesecake. I know you aren't having any health issues yet, but believe me, they will appear eventually. You may not be ready for this surgery, but you also need to think about why you need these comfort foods. If you are eating these foods due to other issues other than your weight, than having this surgery isn't going to make those issues go away. Maybe you need to deal with those issues before thinking about having surgery. It's your life Sweetie, and only you know how you feel. I have also been told by my doctor that after surgery, our cravings go away for the most part. You have come so far, and you really need to be at peace with yourself over this surgery. It is a life changing thing, and you or anybody should never have the surgery if you aren't 100% ready for it. It has taken me 5 years to finally go for it. I'm finally ready..

Good luck hon, and please know that I'm here if you need a friend! *hugs*

Lisa

Put in eggface in the search box and look at her website.  She has a lot of great foods that u can eat.  It will help in the replacing issue.  So you still feel like u can eat like a regular person. She is a member of the OH community.

****ro is right -- you really do want to be mentally psyched for this.  There are many RNY's that do eat everything in moderation and do wonderfully, but there are no guarantees for that any more than there are guarantees that you will dump if you eat anything bad.

On the other hand, perhaps a different procedure would suit you better.   I had the same anxiety, but when I discovered the duodenal switch  and post op living and eating with it, my concerns faded right away and I was confident from that point on.  If you don't know much about it, check out the DS forum right here or go to duodenalswitch.com to learn more.  There are three surgeons here in Ohio (around Dayton) who do it.

hi martha...not sure i can add anything new to what has already been posted to you but i do agree with them all...think things through carefully before you have the surgery....i know food has been a comfort food to all of us but the good thing is we are all healthier now since having WLS and without it...my dr said i would be dead in a few short years...gave me something to think about...eating like a pig or living longer....i chose to live longer...you can still eat but not like before...and trust me...you will feel like you are eating like a pig at times with the new pouch!!! sorry if i came on to strong but its how i look at it...wish you the best on your decision!!!

hugs

I just want to thank each and every one of you that has responded.  That's why I started using OH.  Being able to talk to people that have BEEN there makes it so much nicer.  I can talk to the skinny folks all I want, but if you've never been fat and had everything that goes with that physically, emotionally, psychologically, you just can't understand.  I have a lot of thinking to do and have plenty of time before I can even go to insurance for approval.  Thanks everyone!

I've never had a problem eating or drinking anything that I ate before my surgery. It's just I have a smaller portion than I had before. If you don't want a "new" life then "don't" have the surgery. I'm sure glad I did. I can do things now I haven't been able to for over 10 years. Lifes to short to waste on cravings...take it from someone who knows.

Dave

 Hi,

I don't think I can say much that hasn't been said here, very well, by others.  I took a full year of preop time to be sure I was ready, and in particular to be sure ENOUGH that I would not regret the decision even if there were complications (so far none, and my surgeon and team are fabulous).  We all have to go at our own pace.Oddly enough, the best preparation for me was the 4 week Optifast diet (mostly liquid, plus bars and some no-carb meals) prior to surgery. It is so hard to get away from our addiction to sugar and fat and carbs in our heads when we aren't yet doing it physically, and this diet made it possible for me to get my head in the right place and make a clearer decision just prior to surgery.  

Also, for what it is worth, at 6 days out I have NO cravings. I'm sure that's typical, and I have a lot of work to do to keep things in balance as I begin to eat real food (still on liquids) but it sure helps.

It is scary because you are making a major decision that will affect you for the rest of your life.  I think we all go through this at one point or another.  After I had my lap band put in I wondered "what did I do to myself?  But you know something,  I haven't had not one Coke, nor candy bar, not even a steak (one of my favorites) since April 1st. (when I started my pre-op diet).  And it doesn't bother me.  I surprised myself.

Good Luck!!