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So if someone comes here and says they have been having bleeding from one of their incisions for a week, or has not been able to keep anything solid down for 3 days, or wants to know why their surgeon requires 8 weeks of liquids before or after surgery, or has been making their shakes with ice cream because otherwise it makes them sick, etc. etc., etc., are you saying that we should NOT tell them to contact their surgeon??
Usually, people respond by saying "ask your surgeon" because that is the best answer!
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
As I said previously I had good n bad experience. And if it doesn't apply let it fly. Obviously I will not ask a medical question of anyone here I am grown enough to know that. I wasn't just talking about my posts I've read post of other ppl asking questions n they get that response I see all the time. Once again if u don't have anything to say don't say nothing at all. That's my opinion n whoever don't like it it's to bad. I'm sure we come to this site for support n to learn about others experiences. I'm not here to judge no one.
And yet you're doing the very thing you're condemning others for doing---you're giving your opinion, and judging others. Remember, " if u don't have anything to say don't say nothing at all. That's my opinion n whoever don't like it it's to bad."
Please keep in mind that it is next to impossible to "read" tone via written word only. Often when people here have had disagreements because someone believed that a response was "rude", "mean", "condescending", or "snarky", it was simply a misinterpretation of the "tone". People some just just have word choices, etc. that might lead two or three people to interpret the tone one way and 7 or 8 people don't interpret it at all that way.
Yes, sometimes responses ARE snarky, etc., but everyone is human and sometimes for those of us who have been here for YEARS (when the vast majority of people don't bother to stay once they get past the 9 month mark, if even that, and never bother to try to "pay it forward" and help others) get exasperated... And can spot someone who is headed for trouble and need to hear an honest response not hand holding.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
Exactly!
I'm Fairly new to this site n I have gotten good advice n appreciate it, but there are times that I feel y bother asking a question when there r ppl who r rude or just tell u to ask ur doc. Like wtf r u serious I know I can ask my doc or nut but they haven't had surgery. The reason I joined this site is to hear from ppl who have been thru WLS journey. I just feel like y bother to comment if all u gonna say is ask ur doc.
How do I feel? I feel OH is a kind, supportive place that has enabled me to have continued success. I wouldn't be where I am without OH.
Are there some jerks here? Sure. I really dislike the people that tell others how they should respond to posts seeking help. They should worry about their own responses, and refrain from telling others how to behave.
6'3" tall, male.
Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.
M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.
Here is the thing. I do not think I have ever seen a snarky post about something reasonable. Like "What protein drinks do you guys like?" or "I am looking for exercise ideas?" or "I am down 100lbs", when I see such replies, it is often when someone posts something that does not line up with any of our surgeon's plans and then seems to expect others to tell them it is okay. Just yesterday I read a post where someone was complaining that when they tried to use a WLS card at a buffet place to get a discount because they cannot eat much, and that the employee violated HIPAA by asking the manager over the intercom about how to ring it up. Naturally some mentioned that if they were less than 1 month out of surgery, that they might not want to be going to a buffet and had concern that such behavior might put them back where they were prior to surgery. Or that one should not get mad that they did not get special treatment. Then when the OP tries to justify the actions (instead of saying, "Oh I see your point", it degrades from there.
It is what you make of it. If you do not like a response, then ignore it. Would you walk into a room of strangers and after listening to a few conversations, suggest that everyone in the room is not supportive and that if they do not have anything nice to say they should just shut up? I can tell you in no online environment I have ever been a part of, does a post such as this lead to anyone changing their behavior.
If you do not find the site supportive or useful I am sorry. But I think you will find the same stuff on any online forum.
HW: 440.5 RNY 2/18 (Feb - 27, Mar -21, Apr -11, May -15.5, Jun - 12, Jul -14.5, Aug -9, Sept -11, Oct 6.2)
When it comes to specific plans, ask your doc/nut is the best advice. Since all plans are different and another surgeon's plan might damage you. Especially early out.
I found none of the advice you got in your previous post to be rude. I'm sorry it wasn't the advice you wanted.
VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)
Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170
TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)
Hi there, I'm still pre-op and I have found this site very helpful! I imagine it will be even more helpful post op! I have had good respopnses to the few posts I've made. I do agree that I have seen some snarky responses. Take it with a grain a salt. It takes all kinds and sometimes you're going to hear things or responses you don't want to hear. Remember its an open forum! I hope you keep reading and posting because I have learned a lot the short time I have been a memeber on here!
"That's my opinion n whoever don't like it it's to bad." Well guess what, that is their opinion when they share it. See how that works in this land of freedom. Also what is considered nice can be very subjective. A million people may consider it nice but one person ie maybe you may consider it mean. So should we all run it by you before we post it? This is a public forum and has ran the same way since its inception. Since you had nothing nice to say why did you post this?
Sometimes the best answer is to ask your doctor. We don't know what your doctor's recommendations are for you. He is the best person to ask about some things.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
