How u feel about OH

There are good/bad, polite/rude people everywhere. There are also patient/impatient  people. I agree there is no need for aggression and some posts go way beyond pleasant. But the trouble is that patience can wear thin and, on a bad day, people who have been posting here for years get exasperated! OK, best not to! But it happens.

the ask your doctor reply is not a brush-off; it is almost always to tell people that long-term wls people recognise that some problems should not be dealt with by listening to the opinion of strangers online. 

And the written word does not convey emotion. Things can appear much harsher than the writer intended.

thus is a public forum; you will get answers of all types. Read what you choose! But remember that a post which may seem harsh might, unknown to you, be that way because the person asking the question has asked it time and time again, ignored the answers, had problems, come back to ask again. Many people take the time and trouble to look at the history of a questioner before replying and so take that into account in a way which might make the immediate reply seem harsh.

And people do get fed up with pleas to be "nice" as most prefer honesty to niceness!

Sometimes the best answer is to ask your doctor.  We don't know what your doctor's recommendations are for you.  He is the best person to ask about some things. 

I agree. 

Hi there, I'm still pre-op and I have found this site very helpful! I imagine it will be even more helpful post op! I have had good respopnses to the few posts I've made. I do agree that I have seen some snarky responses. Take it with a grain a salt. It takes all kinds and sometimes you're going to hear things or responses you don't want to hear. Remember its an open forum! I hope you keep reading and posting because I have learned a lot the short time I have been a memeber on here!

Please keep in mind that it is next to impossible to "read" tone via written word only.  Often when people here have had disagreements because someone believed that a response was "rude", "mean", "condescending", or "snarky", it was simply a misinterpretation of the "tone".  People some just just have word choices, etc. that might lead two or three people to interpret the tone one way and 7 or 8 people don't interpret it at all that way.

Yes, sometimes responses ARE snarky, etc., but everyone is human and sometimes for those of us who have been here for YEARS (when the vast majority of people don't bother to stay once they get past the 9 month mark, if even that, and never bother to try to "pay it forward" and help others) get exasperated... And can spot someone who is headed for trouble and need to hear an honest response not hand holding.

Lora

When it comes to specific plans, ask your doc/nut is the best advice.  Since all plans are different and another surgeon's plan might damage you. Especially early out. 

I found none of the advice you got in your previous post to be rude. I'm sorry it wasn't the advice you wanted. 

Here is the thing.  I do not think I have ever seen a snarky post about something reasonable.  Like "What protein drinks do you guys like?" or "I am looking for exercise ideas?" or "I am down 100lbs", when I see such replies, it is often when someone posts something that does not line up with any of our surgeon's plans and then seems to expect others to tell them it is okay.  Just yesterday I read a post where someone was complaining that when they tried to use a WLS card at a buffet place to get a discount because they cannot eat much, and that the employee violated HIPAA by asking the manager over the intercom about how to ring it up.  Naturally some mentioned that if they were less than 1 month out of surgery, that they might not want to be going to a buffet and had concern that such behavior might put them back where they were prior to surgery.  Or that one should not get mad that they did not get special treatment.  Then when the OP tries to justify the actions (instead of saying, "Oh I see your point", it degrades from there.

It is what you make of it.  If you do not like a response, then ignore it.  Would you walk into a room of strangers and after listening to a few conversations, suggest that everyone in the room is not supportive and that if they do not have anything nice to say they should just shut up?  I can tell you in no online environment I have ever been a part of, does a post such as this lead to anyone changing their behavior.

If you do not find the site supportive or useful I am sorry. But I think you will find the same stuff on any online forum.

How do I feel? I feel OH is a kind, supportive place that has enabled me to have continued success. I wouldn't be where I am without OH. 

Are there some jerks here? Sure. I really dislike the people that tell others how they should respond to posts seeking help. They should worry about their own responses, and refrain from telling others how to behave.

Can't fix stupid......but you CAN medicate it......repeatedly until it shuts the @#$% up ! (nurse humor) I'm sure to offend someone, again, with my word salad......