Is it helpful... (x post)

First she *****es about what SHE thought were mean replies (or whatever) and the she is apparently so "unkind" that she goes around deleting half of her responses!!  WTH?!?

Yeah, add this poster to list of those people who will get automatically quoted in the future.

And other times, people SHOULD speak up and try to help because dying of dehydration is an awful death. IV's suck and waiting in the ER sucks and it's always nice to at least offer suggestions and to help others avoid the misery of trying to coordinate ER doctors, bariatric surgeons, and whoever else happens to be available when we're feeling miserable. 

I do think sometimes we do need to be not so weak.I just know sometimes I can be a baby and not get past a point without someone giving me a push saying Toughen Up Buttercup.

I know tough love isn't always the way to go.But some of us need it once in a while.I can have a pity party and feel blue and there isn't any reason.I know I can't always depend on my anti-depressants to help me I have to help myself.

Very well said! 

Kekosmom I read your story a few times and honestly if I were you I would be looking for another opinion.  What happens if in one year or more you still have these "side effects".  There has to be some underlying issue that is causing them.  There is no way you are going to be able to live on going every month for saline IV's.  What if you get so bad that you have to start going in every week or more. They can only poke your veins so many times before they are not accessible. 

As for what is written on public forums learn to take things with a grain of salt.  Yup people write stuff without thinking. Then they are ones that write stuff and try to sugar coat everything which isn't good either.  Read between the lines or posts to find the answers to the questions.

I do really hope someone finds out what is really wrong with you.  It is doing your body no good living the way you are.

Thank you I do appreciate your concern but I didn't start this thread to talk about my personal issues.

I believe my post is relevant to a lot of people on this board who feel as I do whom I have talked to in private and the public forum who feel that some people are too harsh and hurtful.

My opinion can be disregarded just like anyone else's if anybody feels it is not valid.

God bless, Michelle

Some people, however, have a pattern of posting "questions" or "rants" (venting) when they don't really want answers or even other people's reactions... all they really want are certain responses.  Any responses that are not what they wanted are deemed "harsh" or "mean".

If someone comes here and posts that they are eating pepperoni pizza toppings at three weeks post-op but that they think it should be ok because cheese and pepperoni are both protein, and because they are chewing it well, and all they WANT is for the hand-patters to come on and tell them that what they are doing is just fine... They are going to get lots of "mean" responses telling them that it is NOT ok.  

By the way, based on my 7 years here on Obesity Help, here is how the rest of the story goes: 1) the original poster will then reply to their original post (and will sometimes also post a separate thread as well) complaining about how mean some people here are, 2) they will leave OH within a few weeks or a couple of months, and then 3) they will reappear when they are about 2 years out complaining of regain and asking how they can re-lose the weight...

Lora

There are so many replies where i was wishing for a Like button here.  Being a long-timer too, I concur with your pattern assessment.

I always think that tough love should come from people who love you and know you best. We all need a push sometimes but it shouldn't be from people making snap judgments on the 2% of your life that they know.

I like the people that come in here and say, "Okay someone give me a kick in the rear, I need it!" You know they are looking for that.  

For the others this may be the only place they get treated with understanding and kindness through this process so unless you develop a friendship with them I think it's unfair of others to be hurtful.  

When I see mean comments disguised as tough love I always worry, have you just pushed that person away or over the edge.  You don't love them so are you just being tough because it's fun for you?

I'm all about the tough love with my friends and family who know that my heart has their best interest in mind.  And I take it when they do it to me.  If/when I do it here it's because I'm not thinking and I know once it's out there I've made a mistake of thinking I've got that person all figured out when in reality I'm making snap judgments and comments.

I believe there is a way to present advice that comes off as just that. And then there is a way to present that same info as condemnation.  Advice can be mulled over, condemnation is just hurtful and either leaves a scar or is thrown out because it makes people mad.

If you are answering so quickly and off the cuff that people are reacting with anger then you are not being heard, so why waste time posting? Your points may be valid but why bother if nobody is hearing you.  

I'm just as guilty as the next person.  I'm not calling any one out but I really think this is something that needs to be addressed. I talk to lots of people through private messages that say "I won't post anymore because..."

What is the point of this board if people are scared to post?