Virtual Buddies, Another Addiction?

Afternoon Everyone, I was searching online for information on emotional overeating, which is clearly ME. Since my surgery date is April 25th, I want to begin to address MY issues, look at them squarely, and MOVE THE F... ON! I came across this paragragh from "Something Fishy" Web site and I had to read it over about 5 times, cause it struck a major cord with me. I copied and pasted it here to see what you guys think. What are your thoughts on this? Hugs Susan From "Something Fishy" website, "People suffering with an Eating Disorder often isolate themselves. Staying online surrounded by people just as sick as you, encouraging you to stay sick, and not encouraging you to work on recovery, is another way to isolate. Being online with virtual "buddies" is to isolate further. Being online with virtual "buddies" who talk excessively about weight, food and how to be thin is to isolate with the Eating Disorder further. "

Interesting! I don't know about it being "another addiction" [anything can become an addiction, meaning it interferes with living life normally, but my guess is that isn't the case for most of us] --but I do totally agree that being online allows one to isolate further. For me, isolation is an issue with or without the weight. For someone else, it may not be an issue at all. I don't even want to connect with people on the phone ... not so much to 'encourage me to stay sick' or to immerse myself with people who talk excessively about weight or even recovery, but because I can stay inside [akin to a turtle] and keep myself relatively safe. I'm working on this big time in therapy. I think depending on the eating disorder [and I believe most WLS patients suffer from one or another or we wouldn't have needed WLS] being immersed in this virtual world that not only targets on weight, food, etc. but fosters the micro management of our eating COULD become or exacerbate the problem, but it doesn't necessarily have to. If one has a life and friends and a world that they can live in and have real feelings, I don't see the harm in utilizing this 'world' as a tool to make up what is lacking in our real worlds [in my case it's a community of people who UNDERSTAND the ramifications and daily details of a WLS patient]. I think saying something is absolute and concrete is dangerous territory. Yes, SOME people with ED often isolate, so do some people without ED. Yes, a virtual community MAY make it worse, but I think for many, many people, it probably makes deciding on & having WLS, and dealing with the reality of being post-op and having an ED better. We can 'chat' with other ED folks who understand what we've gone thru to get fat, to try to get thin and healthy, to deal with having WLS and a new relationship with food. No matter how much my husband loves me or listens and tried to commiserate, he will never really 'get' how I can't eat the way I used to. Most of you do. I think real life support groups are probably more ideal, however, not everyone has that option. For the most part, I think this virtual support is a benefit despite the things that could be negative about it [for some!]. Now I'm rambling, but I think I made my point;) xosm

Hi , And I agree that this is just another outlet for questions and answers and most of all for support. I have a full busy life and lots of friends--But , not all of them understand the ramafications of WLS. The interaction that I have with people on the site just fortify my resolve to make this surgery work Marian S.C. 242.4/171.4/goal 125-130??

Susan, Well............. I think we all have a common bond on this site,we can relate to are problems ,goals and dreams.this site has been a blessing for me. I have learned so much.I don't really look at the people on this site as just virtual buddies.I know they are real people with whom I share my thoughts and feelings with related to wls.We give support to one another.Support that I don't think other people understand or can give me.I havn't had anyone on this site encouraging me to stay fat and sassy as do some people at work and some friends do by saying things like "you look fine" or "you don't need to lose wieght". I wiegh 335, I'm 5'2" with a list of serious health issues so I would rather" isolate" myself with people who will help me and understand me on the subject of wls.I don't consider myself obsesed with this site so much that I would chose staying home on the site over going to the movies with a friend.The great thing is when I want to be there,they are always at my finger tips.For me it's a good thing!!! That's my 2cents worthDarlene

that's a double edged sword. IF they are encouraging you to stay sick,that's one thing. However, many times, virtual buddies are genuinely caring relatoinships that can help us to work through some things we might not have b een able to on our own. This almost sounds a little sour grapes.

Great topic! I read ahead and saw a few responses and must agree it is a double edge sword for sure. The Internet can be a good source of support and it's been my main source. I am addicted to the net, but it have been for a long time, it wasn't something that came after surgery. It's a coping mechanism for me, as well as support. I like challenges, so in recognizing this fact, I have decided as of April 16, to take a break from internet service from my home and am going to try this for about 4 months. Why? I want to be more active. I did this during my 2003 weight loss. I lived in Poughkeepsie and rewarded myself with the Internet by walking to the cafe and getting online from there. Now I live in a place where I cannot walk around so easy, it's a small desolate spreadout country town with a busy highway but I can take my laptop out and get online somewhere. I can say that it is different now from before 2003 because I don't isolate myself near as much as I used to. But still, I could do better. And it's money I can save toward a nice vacation anyway Kristine -55 pounds since November.

Susan , This addiction is helping me. I also am addicted to water! (and coffee). My point is not all addictions are bad. I guess when it is unhealthy and not having a balence is a bad one. .................Kitty