Need to talk

Hey All I have so many people trying to convince me not to have surgery. I really want this surgery, and I have my heart set on it. I don't understand why so many people are trying to get me not to have it, even knowing that it means a better life for me. Everyone keeps trying to throw these ugly and nasty thoughts on me. Bad past experiences and the worse things they've heard about things that have happened to other people. The only one really supporting me is my husband. He is really great..... Any advice...... Thanks..... Blanquie

Blanquie, How are you? I work in Far Rockaway very close to you. I work in a hospital. I found the less, I talked about the better off I was. You cannot pay any attention to what anyones says.If you don't care to listen to those comments, only discuss it with people who you know are on your side. Please read my profile and see what the people who have had WLS have to go through. There are lots of negativity out there.JUst hit the names on the message boards and you will find lots of profiles to read. I found out that it was better to talk to my sister and just my best friend. If someone had something negative to say I stopped them right there and then. Take care and decide this decision from your heart. Only please yourself. If you husband is supporting you, then talk to him. The rest can just kiss it girl. Lorraine

Hey Lorraine Thanks for your insight. It was really helpful. I guess I just have to keep it quiet, and do what I gotta do....... Thanks again.... Blanquie P.s. How can I get my profile pic to show on my posts like yours?

Hi Blanca I've been going through this process since January and am scheduled for surgery on August 15th. I have told a select few of my surgery. I have had support from some & questions from others on if I feel I have to go to this extent. Then, of course, the stories they have heard...not usually the good ones. I respond to them by saying, listen, I've done alot of research and am aware of the possible problems that can occur. While I appreciate your concern, I, along with my Dr.'s have made the decision that this is the best route for me to take right now. I also tell them that the risks of something happening during the surgery is the same risks as any other abdominal surgery (ie: gallbladder surgery). If they continue on, I go on to say, at the weight I am now, I am putting my life in more danger by not having the surgery than I am if I have it. Usually, they will respect my response. You have the support of your husband and that's wonderful. You will learn throughout this process who your real friends are and sad enough to say, you may have to separate yourself from the negative people around you. Thankfully, I haven't had to do that just yet. Good Luck in your journey and don't let anyone put negative thoughts in your head. Discuss everything with your surgeon and keep your husband involved. It will all work out in the end for you. Remember, you'll always find support here. God Bless Tammy

Hi Tammy Thanks ! I knew that my peeps here on OH would understand where I was coming from. It seems like this is the only place I can come to that makes any sense. Thanks again Blanquie

Blanquie! People who do not have our "problem" often cannot truly understand. But most of all, those who care about us, but who are against the surgery, are reacting to their fears. WLS does have the risk of death - although, so may not losing the weight! And, of course, there are also those people who just look down upon others. Those people who think we're just trying to "take the easy way out." They REALLY don't understand! Also, many people, when they think of the surgery, are thinking about all the stories they've heard - stories that mostly are from experiences other people had when WLS was new. Things have come a long way from what they used to be. It is much safer and most of the methods have less negative side affects than the old methods. Knowledge about how to prevent nutritional deficiencies and other problems is much better, too. If the opinion of these nay-sayers really is important to you, maybe you can print out some up-to-date info from this and other sites to show them. There are also many good books on WLS, too, that may help them understand. Educate yourself well about WLS so that you will be armed with information that might help you get through to them, and also help you to feel more secure about your decision. If you truly medically qualify for WLS, and if you have done your research into the procedures to thoroughly understand both the risks and benefits, then ultimately only YOUR opinion matters. It is YOUR life, and you have the right to make the decision to have or not have WLS. The decision is not an easy one, but it is one that can change your life forever. I know it has changed mine - for the better. I wish you luck in your journey! Feel free to contact me if you need an "ear"! ~~ Ilene Rachel Lap Roux-en-Y: June 22, 2004 (150 cm limb) Surgeon: Dr. Molave Adaniel Hospital: Southside Hospital, Bay Shore, NY 5' 4" [At Home, Naked:] Top WT 296.5/Pre-op 276/Present 173.5/Goal 140 123 lbs gone!

Hi Ilene I want to thank you for your words. They are encouraging. I decided to just keep the surgery between my husband and I. Once I have it done, I'll just have to prove to everyone that it's not as bad as they made it out to be........ Thanks again.... I asked Lorraine, and I'm gonna ask you too. How can I get my profile pic to come out on my posts like you guys? Blanquie

HI there Blanca, I think you need to go to ObesityHelp.com. That is the main board,then hit update your profile and log in. Hit Profiles Color and Photos. Read the directions and make sure you put your Name Password Memeber # take that off your profile Add photo and put it as a file. Then tell them where you want it. Make sure to tell them to post it on your Message Board. Keep in touch Lorraine

Thanks again Lorraine..... So, you're in Far Rockaway? How long have you been out here. I've been here going on 7 years. I know you're actually not living in the Rock, but you work here right? It's nice to be able to talk to someone from the neighborhood, or near it..........LOL Talk to you soon Blanquie

HI I DONT KNOW YOUR WEIGHT OR HEALTH SITUATION BUT THE RISKS OF SURGERY ARE STILL BETTER THAN LIVING WITH MORBID OBESITY. A FEW THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY AND MY MOTHER SAID I WAS TAKING THE "EASY" WAY OUT. I AM 47 AND HAVE BEEN OVER WEIGHT SINCE ABOUT 8 YRS OLD. I HAVE LOST WEIGHT SO MANY TIMES YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE IT. ONLY TO PUT IT BACK ON. WHEN I GOT THE SURGERY LAST JUNE( IT WILL BE ONE YEAR JUNE 8TH) I WEIGHED 285 NOW I AM 165. I HAD A SUGAR LEVEL OF ALMOST 5OO, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE,SLEEP APNEA,FIBROMYALGIA,DEPRESSION. I NOW HARDLY NEED ONE DIABETES PILL. I HOPE IF I LOSE ANOTHER 50LBS( I AM ONLY 5FT) I WILL BE OFF THAT. I STILL AM NOT OVER THE FEELING OF WANTING TO OVER EAT, BUT IT IS ALOT BETTER. I STILL HAVE WORK TO DO. JUST DONT THINK YOU WONT HAVE TO WORK AT ALL. THE SURGERY SAVED MY LIFE.I HAD LAPROSCOPTIC SURGERY AND WAS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL IN 2 DAYS. ONLY ONE PAIN PILL THE WHOLE TIME. EVEN THISONE I WAS TALKED INTO. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. THIS PAST YEAR HAS GONE SO FAST. FORCE YOURSELF TO WALK AS SOON AS YOU CAN. DO YOU HAVE AN AIR CONDITIONED MALL NEAR YOU? WITH SUMMER COMING IT IS SO HOT. I LIVE IN FLORIDA SO THE HEAT IS A BIT MUCH. GOOD LUCK AND PLEASE DO WHAT YOU, IN YOUR HEAD AND HEART, FEELS IS BEST. SORRY I WENT ON SO LONG. LIZZ