I can't wait any longer!
Hi everyone. I have never posted anything before, but have been on the site for several months now. Tomorrow I have my last pre-op appointment with a psychologist, then I can get a surgery date and things are all set with my insurance - the surgeon, nutritionist, my internist, pulmonary specialist, and psychologist just need to send their information in. I am hoping to have the surgery at the end of April, during my spring break since I am a teacher. I would love to have it sooner, but I feel guilty about taking at least ten days off of work. If I have it around a break, then I don't have to take that much time.
I am very excited and nervous and anxious. I feel like it is all I think about. I am 29 years old and weight has been an issue for as long as I remember. I am not at my heaviest, but I told myself that enough is enough. I don't ever want to reach my highest weight again. After dieticians, every popular diet and diet medication, working out like crazy, and then eventually not eating at all - nothing has worked for the long term. I want to be happy and healthy. I want to live my life - I feel like I am so unhappy with my own personal life that I put all my energy into work and my students. I give way too much of myself, I think in order to forget about my own problems.
My parents have finally come around. They are just nervous, but they understand that this has been an issue and something they have tried to help me with since I was 5. They weren't overweight people and my older brother never had a weight problem. My mom said that she feels like she failed as a parent because she couldn't fix me - but she did everything she could including loving me unconditionally. My brother also has been so supportive - he has come to my appointments with me and is very excited for me. I am not married, just a single girl - but my friends are also pretty supportive, for the most part. Once I explained everything, drew diagrams, handed out the research, they were amazed and realized that I had really done my homework. They just want what is best for me.
I just cannot wait. I feel like I am going to be reborn and I am excited to get my health under control. I also am looking forward to not hearing the same old phrase - you have such a beautiful face...you would be a knock out if you just lost weight. Some people have also told me that the reason that I am not married is because I am overweight. I hate that too. Sure, I think it is connected, being that I have low self esteem and haven't really put myself out there in a while, but I have to hope that isn't the only reason. I think that I just haven't found him yet.
Anyway...a lot of random thoughts. Thanks for listening and thank you Alice W. for your message. I was a bit nervous about posting on this site, but you made me feel very welcome.
Take care.
(deactivated member)
on 2/24/05 3:33 am - MT
on 2/24/05 3:33 am - MT
Tracy,
Hello hun and welcome to the posting side...... I am glad you have spoken up and it is always nice to talk to new people as well.....
I am also Pre-op and hating the waiting game..... If you take a look at my profile you will see why......but I am hoping to have my surgery around May......~crossing fingers~ I have my 2nd consult with the surgoen on April 14th....then Ins Approval waiting begins.
Man do I hate all those sayings too, I love the one you have such a pretty face........it comes up when you talk about loosing weight! so you know it means if you ONLY would drop some weight! Hun that comes from ignorance and should be tossed up to just that IGNORANCE!
hang in there and your day will come, as will mine.....Keep in touch!
Debra P
WELCOM TRACEY!
Glad you decided to join in on the conversations. You have chosen to be a part of a wonderful site, wonderful caring friends. I know you already know this or you never would have posted your message here to begin with.
I work in Special Ed. and wound up having my surgery on September 21, 2004. In my current work situation, my Dr. felt it best for me to stay out 6 weeks, only because I job coach our working students at sites like McDonalds, Stop & Shop Supermarket, the Hospital, all of which involves me having to help out with the lifting, cleaning etc. You are lucky if you only need to take a short time. Just make sure you do not rush yourself to go back to work before you are physically able. The kids will always be there, that's what we have Subs and sick time for.
Now that you have posted your first official message, I hope this means that we will all be seeing alot of you here on this site. Take Care, Good Luck and Talk to you Soon!
Hugs
Marianne
Tracy ~~So Happy to See You Here Today
GREAT random thoughts.
Now see, posting was not that hard!!
When we are overweight and have no self esteem we sit out and watch life go by. Once we start losing weight and gain our self esteem back---then it's.....watch out world here we come!! My daughter has WLS at age 23, next month will be 3 yrs for her, and I have jus****ched her blossom into a different person. I can not wait for you to join us on the losing side of your journey. I am glad that your parents have come around and that your brother gives you support. Did you attend any support group meeting, they are a very important part of WLS. Have you been reading profiles...all you have to do is click on anyones name. Below is the link for the Before and After Pics, go take a look!! If you need anything, just remember we are only a post away!!
http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/galleryseries.phtml
Alice