Frustrated and gaining weight!!

I attended another Dr. Ahmad post op meeting last night at St. Charles as to make a decision as to whether or not I am truely getting the "support" I so desperately need.  It was a very small group so they combined both the lap band and the gastric bypass together.  I felt for sure that I would get the opportunity to speak.  Once again, to my disappointment and frustration ALL the usual monopolizers got their air time about how rosey and perfect their lives are now.  If they are NOT having any problems, WHY do they get to monopolize the floor each and every single meeting?  WHY don't they have people with issues speak first???????  OMG!!  I want to scream in the middle of the room that I AM GAINING WEIGHT AND I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!  but we continue to hear how everyone is controlling thier food instead of the food controlling them and how they are all about themselves.  I hear one guy say "it's all about me"....I thought how arrogant and unattractive that sounds!!  My self-esteem is so low right now.  I need help and I feel more invisible now than I did when I weighed 300 lbs.  Dr. Ahmad has thousands of patients.  Seema says that the unsuccessful people are in hiding.  THEY are the one's who need help.  They don't go to meetings because of the very experience I am having.  NO BODY wants to hear the negatives and realities of the surgery.  Life is beautiful, they all have this false sense of euphoria and it's making me sick.  I don't know what to do or where to go and I'm so frustrated because I need help, I go to meetings, I am NOT in hiding....but I never get to speak because I'm too polite waiting for all the monopolisers to SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!!!!!!!  I think the moderators of meetings should have more control of the meetings in getting everyone a turn to speak ESP the one's who don't and then leave in frustration.  THIS IS WHY THEY DO NOT RETURN!!  Doesn't anyone get this?????

Thanks for letting me vent.  I just needed to tell someone :)  anybody relate?

Trish -

A LOT of people can relate!  Regain is hard, you almost feel like a failure.  And you're right, people stop showing up during regain when it's THE MOST important time for support!  If you watch, a the percentage of people drop off as their time progresses in years....most meetings are rah-rah-sis-boom-bah...all for the newbies.

One suggestion - go early, grab the leader (*****ally should just be a moderator - not monopolize the meeting and make it about them) and explain the situation.  They then should LEAD a discussion about regain and what to do and how to minimize it.  Newbies need this info as well.

I notice your from Long Island.  I go to a couple meetings down there as well....if you contact me, maybe we can talk and I'll see what i can do to help you!

Thanks for the suggestion.  I will give it a try but the person starting the meeting isn't always the one who ends it.  The wife of the surgeon (Seema) pops in when the meeting is mid-stream and then begins a conversation after the initial topic.  Last night it was about food and the Thanksgiving holiday.  Do I really need to talk about FOOD?  This is just my drug of choice, not the issue but they seem to lose sight of that there.  I saw a young lady walk out in the middle of the meeting.  She did not get to speak, like me, she was probably trying to be polite and could not get a word in edge-wise.  It is ALWAYS the SAME people doing ALL the talking!!!  Maybe in a newbie meeting this would inspirational, but in a POST-OP situation, they need to change the forum.  I will try to give the office a call and speak to someone about this suggestion....regain.  I am in Suffolk County, Long Island and meet in Port Jefferson at either J.T. Mather-Memorial Hospital or St. Charles depending on the night.

Are you a priest Father or a father Father?  (just curious)  

Hey Trish,
I'm 34 months post op and have been to many different meetings. I have spent the last year attending and also co-leading a group on Long Island called LIPO (Long Island Post Ops). We are a group run by post op patients and have all different types of WLS members (By-pass, Lap-band..etc). Our group has really been growing over the past 8 months...in fact we are opening a new location in Nassau county in January 2011. At our meetings, everyone is given a chance to talk and ALL issues are dicsussed. Since we aren't a doctor-based support group, we don't have to "sell the positive" but deal in the Truth..the struggles, challenges as well as the victories. We meet the 3rd Tuesday of the month in Sayville at the Sayville Public Library from 6:30 to 9:00 PM. We also have a Facebook fan page (LIPO) and a website  www.liponation.org   check it out and I'd love to meet you at our next meeting.

Frank :)