***Newbie***

hello Newbie!!
it's so nice to meet you here.  you are going to find more love and support here @ OH than anywhere else on the planet.  And, not just regarding WLS, we pose topics on everything from what you will eat for the day to where you might vacation next week.  No topic is off limits here sweetie. 
On a serious note, i just want to say that i may have made you feel sad in the past when i mentioned your weight, and if i did, i really want to apologize to you.  I never want to say anything that will hurt you and risk damaging my relationship with you.  You have made me so proud as a mom and grandmother and i love you so much that words cannot express what i feel in my heart for you and my grandkids.  You are an awesome mother and daughter and and even better big sister to Tina.  All i can say is that Barry was blessed when he chose you for a companion.
When i suggest WLS to you, i don't do it to hurt you or condemn you. I do it because unless or until you have crossed over to this side of the track you really can't know how wonderful it is to be able to shed the pounds so much more easier than dieting and gaining it back plus more. I don't want to ever see you in pain that Dr's are working to erase for millions everyday now. I know you're afraid, i was too and most people are afraid of the unknown. But, you can find out anything you need to know about WLS here and when you're ready I hope you go for it. Just remember, if i can ever ease any of your fears - i'm your mom and i'll always tell you the truth about everything -- including what i've experienced from the Surgery.  Love Always, Mom. 

Carol, You have made me cry today. You have a great bond with your daughter and that is a great thing to see. I can feel that bond and I am sure she knows you are not trying to break that bond. Your posts have been great and if I had a daughter I would do the same thing. My son is 25 lbs overweight and I have talked to him until I am blue in the face. I will still keep trying. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

                                                                                                         Julie

Hello ans welcome. My journey has been side tracked twice now. My Mom has been very ill and needed me. I know I want to take care of me but it is so hard when it is you or your Mom. I have been overweight and made fun of all my life and that means even now. I am almost 50 years old and want to be here to see my Grand kids. You have a great Mom and she loves you no matter what size you are. I wish my Mom had supported me when I made a zillion attempts to lose my weight years ago. We know that the weight will catch up with us and then it is even harder to lose due to the health problems.  I hope that you will take this seriously as I want to be able to live a long healthy life as I am sure you want the same for you and your kids. RIGHT?  I know there are many things that cause us to over eat and this surgery from what I know is not magic. It is a tool that we must use daily. It is not the easy way out by no means. I am still on my journey but I will support you and encourage you no matter what. This board has so much info and some days I don't know where I would be without it. I am 300 lbs and I can relate to the clothing issues too. Feel free to PM me and I would love to be your friend. Take care and I am here for you..

                                                                           Hugs to you,

                                                                                     Julie

Hi and welcome to OH! Your story reminded me of my own. I've been overweight and obese my entire life. I, like you, do not yet suffer from any major ailments. I do have a back problem due to a car accident and have had problems with hypertension in the past. I've lost weight and regained it, up over 100 lbs in the past.

My mother had RNY 5 years ago at the age of 60. Before her surgery, she suffered with many ailments including diabetes, hypertension, tophaceous gout (which ultimately caused renal insufficiency), congestive heart failure, severe osteoarthritis and has gone through SEVEN major back surgeries. Most of my life she has been unable to work and on disability.

She has been on my case all my life about my weight, but even more so since she had her surgery. Sometimes her "concern" would bother me too because I didn't feel sick or have a poor self image most of the time. But I realized that with all she's been through (even close to death a couple of times), she's only concerned about me. She doesn't want me to end up developing all the ailments she did before I do something about my weight. She feels like she missed out on a large part of her life b/c of her weight. She doesn't want that to happen to me.

I'm sure your mother only wants the best for you too. She probably wishes she had done the surgery earlier in life. Listen to her and accept her support. In the end you will be happy you did. It's great that you want to lose weight for yourself. That's what's most important.

Hang in there! That "skinny *****" inside you can't wait to get out!!!!

Thank you everyone who has responded. I am letting everything sink in. WLS is not my first choice so its not something I think about on a regular basis. But everything that everyone is saying is being taken in stride. I've even teared up reading a couple of the responses. I dont want to make a decision based on feeling obligated to my mother so I'm taking this slow. If and/ or when I decide to have WLS, it will be done after careful consideration and A LOT of research. Thank you all again.