Out of the mouths of babes

My son who is 17 and not really a babe (although I think he's drop dead gorgeous!) asked me point blank the other day "why did you have the weight loss surgery if you are eating my chocolate."  Let me preface this by saying that I am 20 months out from my surgery and do not have any problem at all with any food, any time, any place.  I wish I did but I am also glad that I don't have to deal with dumping either, it's definitely a catch 22. My problem with food is that I can't seem to deal really well with having it in the house and not wanting to eat it all.  I'm not hungry, but it's there so it just keeps knocking at my mind haunting me. Normally I don't keep food in the house that calls out to me but this being the holiday season, we did get some candy as gifts (actually I didn't, the normal eaters did).  I try so hard not to give in to those candy shout outs, but it's so hard and that's why I don't normally keep them in the house. My son will now ask me when something comes in, "do I have to hide it?"  Unfortunately, sometimes he does and I hate putting the onus on him, but I hate even more having it on my mind. Anyway, I explained to him (and he did say, please don't be offended by this question) that the WLS worked on  my body, but I am continually working on my brain because that's part of it. He expressed his concern that I might gain back my weight and I told him that it's my biggest fear and I didn't commit to this lightly so while I can't say I never will, my struggle will be for the rest of my life to maintain my weight loss.  Hopefully at some point, a switch will go off in my brain that gives me a normal relationship with food, but until that time, he may just have to hide the bad stuff from me.  It's not the worst compromise in the world.   Not that I want my son to worry about me, but it's nice that he cares. Sue

Sue, Your son sounds like a wonderful caring young man!! You should be proud of him for being so caring! Not many kids in his generation are these days & that has me worried about the future of this world!!! I know exactly what you mean about the brain & the food issues that come along with it... I struggle every day & some days are much better than others!!! I know in the past when I'd go grocery shopping & come home & put everything away I'd have this overwhelming feeling to try everything... gotta have some now!!!   There was a comedianne yrs ago who had a joke in her routine about how women are like that & men could put the groceries away & go about the rest of their business while we women hear the darn items calling our names!!! I laughed about it then but dang, if it ain't true!!! If you find a good way, short of a lobotomy, to shut the switch off please let me know!!! In the meantime I am struggling right along with you!!! Cece

Thanks for saying that about my son.  I think my boys are special as I am sure we all do about our children.  He showed me an essay that he wrote about his dad and me for his college applications.  It started off saying that his childhood was nothing special, but after comparing against friends and seeing how other children sometimes get treated in public, he realized that nothing special meant that he was treated well by us and he realized just how special his childhood was.  It really meant a lot to me! And I think most of us have a love hate relationship with food, since it obviously got us to the point of having WLS.  I'd so love to enjoy food but be able to walk away from it, too.  Sometimes it's just harder than others and it helps to know that I'm not alone. Sue

Hi Sue. Your son is a compassionate young man. How great is it that he is able to ask such a straight foward question? Most kids wouldn't.  Yes indeedy, the relationship with food is such a complex thing. Grrrrr. As always, thanks for a very honest post.

Diane, I think sometimes we gloss over the struggle with food and I think am I the only that still struggles?  But my son's question was a like a loving slap in the face.  I have to be vigilant for myself and I have to take his feelings and concerns for me into account. Btw, your picture looks wonderful.  Congrats on your success! Sue

what a sweetie your son is.  I hear you - I CANNOT keep those types of food in my house. They haunt me. I struggle so bad with this. I think it will always be a struggle for me.  Its crazy!!!!

He is! He's one of my princes! I think my relationship with food will be my cross to struggle with, too, and something that I can never fully stop being vigilant about. Who knows, maybe someone will find a magic brain cure.  One can hope! Sue

WOW!  How awesome your son is!  This was my thought...I only have cookies and chocolate in my house at Christmastime...I have had a couple of cookies.  I'm not eating 50 of them as I once did though.  For me moderation works.  Also, knowing that I can give them to family members and neighbors as I always have gets them out of my house...lol

Congrats on raising such a wise young man!

xo

Thanks Cheri, I agree that I am not eating any where near what I ate before WLS, but it's still something that I could just have a better control of.  Moderation works until it doesn't and then I succumb to the urges. Have a wonderful New Year, you are such an inspiration to us on the forum! Sue

Sue, your son is indeed a special young man.  Mine's 18 (tomorrow!) so I know a lot about how you feel.  My son is also very sensitive, sometimes more so than my 20-year-old daughter! As I've mentioned before, my husband's not well--liver disease & a transplant in his future--and he's lost a tremendous amount of weight from his already thin frame.  So, the nutritionist @ the transplant center basically said to him, eat whatever you want and  whatever you can tolerate at the time.  So, he seems to have a nice tolerance for ice cream!  Yes, I ate some.  and like you, I don't dump; just get some very loose stools the next day.   the funny thing is, most days it doesn't bother me at all; but some days, it just calls to me.   It's hard explaining to family members that, yes, I had this surgery, and 99% of the time I'm true to my "diet," but they just don't get that 1%!  And you know what?  Sometimes neither do I. Sue, thanks for your great post. hugs,