Divorce and WLS

Hello OH friends,
Long time no post, I know. Since September, my husband and I separated. We had been in therapy and it got to the point where I realized that he was just not willing to make changes along with the ones I had made and commit to a more psychologically and physically healthy lifestyle. So he moved out. I tried and tried, sad as it may be, to convince him to reconsider. Then I finally realized that I have made a stand for myself for a better life. One in which I am committed to my own well being. My ex-husband has clearly chosen not to be a part of that.

That being said, I have to say that as painful as this has been for me, I would have the surgery again in a heartbeat. It was the only way I could to find health and well-being. I am sure, in the long-run, I am better off having this man out of my life. It is very hard, and very sobering, but I am still thrilled that I have chosen health over unwellness.

WLS is a major commitment, not only to changing lifestyle, but also to the consequences that follow. I feel like I am starting to get on board with that, and I just wanted to share it with all of you that have been my friends throughout all this, and those who are new to the process. The change is miraculous, but intense. Again, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Hugs to all,
Amy

Tough as it may be, it sounds as if you are at peace with the decision that you made. No one likes to see a marriage end, but it seems like you gave it a really good try and now you have to save yourself. You have been an inspiration to me and I'll bet the majority of the people on this board. Please take care and as you well know by now, the pain will lessen.  Bless you as you take a different path in your life. You will come out a winner if you can stay focused on the things that matter most to you.

Dear Diane,
Thank you for your kind words and support. It means a lot to me and I'll carry it with me in my heart. Times like these make you appreciate the people who appreciate you.

Thanks and happy holidays.

Amy

Hi Amy, You sound VERY positive in a very sad situation, and that is the key to success. I also went through a painful separation, and it was VERY hard/stressful/depressing. When I look back, I can't believe I got through it all........but it's now behind me. When you are in the throws of the separation/divorce, it feels like it will NEVER end....but it does and one day down the road, you. too, will be looking back on this time and see how strong you are. We are here for you, Amy. It would be great to all meet, even if it's not a holiday we're celebrating. Nevertheless, if you need an ear, we're here. Hugs...hang in there, -Karen

You are the best Karen. Thanks for your encouragement. A lot of the divorced women I know have said very similar things to me and right now I can't hear it enough. I WILL GET THROUGH THIS AND I WILL BE BETTER OFF FOR IT.

Your support means so much to me. Thank you.

xox
Amy

Amy, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles, but it sounds like you are on the right track.  You do have to think of yourself at this time...what's good for you.  Good luck and keep us posted...we care. Rosemary

Thanks Rosemary. I appreciate your post and the caring.

xo
Amy

Hi Amy,  I am sorry that things haven't worked out with your husband.  I know what you are going through.  I have been through one divorce and my second marriage is rocky now.  I can only speak for myself but i know that i have been through some major changes with the surgery.  I am a different person and if asked if i would do it again, my answer is the same as yours, in a heartbeat.  I don't know if my marriage will survive another year for I have changed. All that i want to say is hang in there and with each day that passes things will get easier.  Time right now is your friend.  Good luck on your new journey and your new life.  Have a happy holiday and know that your friends are here for you!!!

Thanks Jennifer. It takes a strong spouse to handle the changes that a loved one goes through after weight loss surgery. My spouse just didn't have it in him. I am having a hard time forgiving him now. Maybe some day I can grow up enough to get beyond my sense of dissapointment and hurt. Right now, I'm just trying to fill my life up with positive, self-affirming things like the kind words and wisdom from people like you at OH. It really means so much to me.
Thanks again,
Amy

My Sweet Amy. I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. It can't be easy. While I don't have any words of wisdom here, I wanted to give you a big hug and let you know that I am here to support you and you have so unselfishly supported so many of us.