Went to first support group and now I am scared...????

So Saturday I went to my first support group.  Friday night I got into a fight with my grandmother because she thinks WLS kills people.  She is also 71, Portuguese, has never read in her life (illiterate) and only watches talk shows like Jerry Springer on the Spanish channel.  I tried to explain what the different surgeries do but it was not even worth my time because she will think whatever she wants.  So I really needed the support group the next day!!  

 

 

First I would like to say I was really surprised at how many people were there.  There were a good 50-60 people there, men and women.  When some of them walked in I thought why are they here?  But they had already gotten the surgery.  The receptionist at the surgeon I will be going to was there because she is also a part of the support group because she had RNY done 4 months ago.  Well, she looked absolutely gorgeous…she lost 93 pounds in 4 months…that’s crazy!!!!  You can’t even tell that the people there had any surgery.  I thought that most people get a lot of hanging skin and all but they said if you exercise that it helps a lot.  So, they answered a lot of questions and were so very informative, they said good things and bad things and I have to be honest the death thing is really starting to get to me.  One of my friends and his wife had the lap band done because they said it has a lower death count.  That to me is scary.  I have a 2 year old and I would really like to get surgery to spend the rest of my life watching him grow up not leaving him alone.  Please someone tell me what the real numbers are like because I cannot find them.  I read somewhere it is 1 in 200 people dies from WLS but that seems very bad to me.  Is this an old number?  Also at the support group there was a man who had WLS and said his brother in law died from it.  Then the people in the group were saying that you could die everyday like getting into a car accident and all but the way that I feel is I don’t choose a car accident but I can choose whether or not to have WLS.  I am not putting anything down….I really want WLS but I would just like to know the numbers a little bit better.  Also, do you think it is wrong to ask the surgeon when I meet with him if any of his patients have dies from the WLS?  Thanks so much to everyone. 

 

Hi Lili and welcome to the boards.  I don't know what the exact # is.  You should ask your surgeon these questions.  You should also ask if anyone had any leaks.  These are important questions to ask your surgeon so you can make an informative decision.  The best I can tell you is read as much as you can about WLS.  All surgeries are risky and there is a chance of death with all surgery.   It is good that you went to a support group meeting cause you hear the good and the bad about WLS surgery.  But don't base your decision on just one support group meeting, attend a few and speak open and honestly to your dr.   Your feelings of death are normal.  I was petrified to go through my surgery, because I had a reaction to anesthesia 14yrs ago and almost died.  But I made it through my surgery and I am still here.  I am 6 wks out and if I had to do it again I would.  I have lost 39lbs so far and feel great.  I have a lot more energy than I did and I feel healthier. Keep reading and researching and ask your dr all the questions you can think of.  In fact write them down as they come to you.   Hope this helps you some and ask all the questions you want here,

Good morning, Lili First off, it's not a bad thing to ask your surgeon what his mortality rate is.  My surgeon goes into that during his seminar and is quite honest about the fact that he did have one death.  I appreciated the fact that he learned from this, the gentleman was over 400 lbs and he died in the OR.  My surgeon has done I think about 500 surgeries so his numbers are 1 in 500.  The overall average may be 1 in 200, but each surgeon's rates will be different based on the total surgeries done. You seem to have heard alot of horror stories, which tends to be the same thing that happens when you get pregnant.  Every other person knows someone who was in labor for 8 days and had a baby that weighed 15 lbs, etc. etc.  If you read some of the stories on this website, you will get a much more realistic idea of the surgery and the results of it.   Some people do have complications, in fact, my surgeon said about 15 to 20% of patients will have some complication, but complications can range from mild hair loss, or mild nausea to much greater complications, not everyone has complications and even those that do, may not have anything to serious. I have two sons and I wish I had done this when they were much younger.  I don't regret much in life, but it would have been nice to have been able to spend the time and energy I have now with them when they were younger.  They are almost 17 and 19 now. I don't know if you have any co-morbidities but WLS can alleviate those.  I had diabetes and high blood pressure and sleep apnea prior to my WLS, but now I am not even on meds for anything. It's a huge decision to make and not one to make lightly.  I think you should continue to go to the support groups and ask alot of questions and research and keep an open mind about things. To me, after my sons, it is the best decision I have ever made in my life.  If you want to read my story, it's here, although I haven't updated it in a while. Good luck to you, Sue

Thank you for the responses.  I will be asking him the question and lots more.  It is a good idea to write down my questions as they come to me...thanks for the idea.  I know that death can happen with any surgery.  What exactly happens with leaks ...that is with the bypass right?  I know life will be better once I lose all of this extra weight ...I guess I am just feeling somewhat nervous.  If I didn't have my baby I would not feel this way.  I just looked at him last night and started crying like a fool.  lol.  I will not even go on roller coasters anymore ever since he was born.  maybe I need a shrink after reading this..lol.  Thank you everyone on here...I will be reading more and more of your stories as the days go one.  You guys are great!!

Hi and welcome. It is perfectly ok to ask your doctor those questions. It sounds as if you are just in the infancy of learning about this surgery. Equip yourself with everything that you can read about WLS. Knowledge is key. Keep going to support groups and read the profiles here. It's a decision not to be taken lightly but most would do it all over again.  I wish you the best on your decision. Take Care~~ Diane

Of course you should ask your surgeon about this!!! From research I've done, I've seen 1/200 death rate for bypass and 1/2000 death rate for lapband. Most of the complications don't cause death in surgery. My doc went into the death rate of their practice at the info session. It is a husband and wife (now a third surgeon joined the practice) and I think they each had two deaths with the lapband, but they did a combined 8000 or so. They also had some other deaths with the bypass and DS but they don't really do those anymore.

HI, I know exactly how you are feeling, I am also feeling this.  I have three babies at home that need there mama more than any thing.  This is the only thing making me think twice.  But in my eyes you are choosing to get in that car knowing it could end your life but you still do it daily.  Thjis is what I am trying to get my husband to understand.  But I do understand your thoughts.