FREAKING OUT.
man i've been freaking out lately. my surgery is in less than 2 wks. feb. 2,
and i'm seriously rethinking, and re thinking, over and over. should i or shouldn't i.
i'm so scared, i've only lived 23 yrs. i don't wanna go now.
but then if i don't do it who knows how long i'll live with my obesity.
man i'm so scared.
but then i'm so excited that the day is almost here, my family supports me so much.
but i don't know how to say that i'm scared.
guys how did you cope with your fears?
Glenys Del Rosario~
HI!~
For me I searched within myself. This was a major decision in my life at 29! I had just received my master's degree as a Nurse Practitioner, so I felt successful in many areas of my life except my health...I was on a BP/CHOLESTEROL meds as I had developed High BP, Severe Joint pain, High Cholesterol, I had a fatty liver....I KNEW for me Diabetes was a moment away....That scared me more than dying onthe table (I didn't want to be on dialysis, go blind, lose limbs,have a MI or stroke,lose my hair, become impotent etc...) it is a NASTY disease! For me I had done so much research I was at inner peace for myself sure I had preop jitters but overall I knew and turned over any anxiety I had (fear really). So for yourself have youmade the most educated and informed decision possible? Weighed the risks/benefits, are you going in impulsively or assured w/ this being well thought out? I posted this previously, maybe some will hep u! HUGS! 
To assit in finding inner peace with your decision to have WLS consider YOUR CHOICE reflects the responsible, powerful masterful spirit that you are and you're ready to start creating miracles in your life. Taking some time to meditate, journal, pray, use positive affirmations http://www.dailyinspiringquotes.com/ or http://www.nawls.com/public/department27.cfm or here http://www.unityonline.org/pray_prayersaffirmations.htm etc on your decision. Writing all the reasons why this is your choice, what your expectations and goals are (*consider those beyond wt loss itself), what you are fearful of.
Those that have goals that are health focused and functionally focused do the best (vs. those that are scale or weight/number focused). I am such a firm believer in not allowing the scale (or hunkametal that it is) to rule or dictate ones life/thoughts/feelings any longer, I agree we want to lose wt but gaining our health and ability to function in life are far more important than any number the scale can read; otherwise if it never reads the number we think, others say, a chart suggests we fail and that is simply not true!!!
As I have said before in other forums: Most of our lives we have set RIGID, UNREALISTIC WEIGHT LOSS GOALS for ourselves that are BOTH UNATTAINABLE and CHRONICALLY DISAPPOINTING and lead to DEVASTATION & the slippery slope of self-sabotage...Review the UNDERLYING lifestyle change such as exercise, food choices, self-awareness/monitoring, avoidance of emotional eating, adherence to living self responsibly in a CONSISTENT way that is the foundation to our long-term success. For me I keep telling myself daily that***THE GOAL SHOULD NEVER BE A NUMBER***
Consider that happiness and success will NEVER EVER come from an external source (person, object, number on the scale). It can and will ONLY come from internal self-discovery and love. Listening to my BODY/Mind/Spirit/Heart now and though your journey can be most helpful. Many times we are so busy or do not find the 'me' time needed to really connect internally w/ ourselves. Anxiety is just fear in disguise, ask yourself what are you fearful of? The changes you will go through physically/emotionally/relationship wise, pain, dying, complications, loss of food, fear of failure? Write about them, get them out of your head, feel them....
The goals you write today and reasons may help now as well as down the road when a complication or stressor or plateau happens, it can recenter you within your self, helping you refcus on the nbig picture and choice you made, well aware of a few bumps in the road. Deciding to have surgery, beingas well informed and edcated as possible, having supports (in person groups, online, friends and family) to talk to to normalize and validate ourselves and journey is a key as well.
ONLY you know if this is the right thing at the right time for you, anxiety/fear is common and normal, consider embracing the feelings, they are only that feelings they have a beginning/middle/end and serve us well if we listen vs avoid/repress/stuff them. See this opportunity as one where you can grow. I was motivated but scared as well of dying..a hard decision but one I do not regret making....
I recommend you try to fill your mind with as much optimism and positive thinking
as possible! Basically, become more conscious of what you are thinking and feeling, and start preparing yourself to think of food and your life in a different way. This is a courageous step for you to take, and it's not just about weight changing -- it's about
life changing. This is why so many of us are challenged by the enormity of the decision.
http://www.livingafterwls.com/Library.html this site has many good articles for preop/postop! Checkit out periodically many good topics!!!
Maybe use postive thinking such as:
"I AM COMMITTED TO FACE AND RESOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF LIVING" (i.e. no longer be morbidly obese)
"MY SUCCESS DEPENDS UPON MY CHOICES AND MY BEHAVIOR IN THE PRESENT" (i.e. having the surgery, committing to a healthy lifestyle)
"ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENS IN MY LIFE, I CAN ALWAYS CONTROL MYSELF AND HOW I RESPOND TO WHAT HAPPENS" (i.e. complications but how I manage them if they happen is up to me).
THIS EMPOWERS YOU NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS!!!
YES THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT! It takes extraordinary courage to make the decision and live w/ the choices we make to consciously limit food choices for the rest of our lives (and potentially limit social opportunities built around meals) among all the other potential complications it can bring short or longterm....
There will be plenty of opportunities to grow/change in life as it can be one stressor/problem after another but deciding to keep on keeping on will always help! Hugs!
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! You are a warrior and worthy of this opportunity to change your life...Be well.
PS I will leave you with the Serenity Prayer! *I am taking by your original post this/prayer will not be offensive...
"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference."
Take Care,
Jamie 
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163 (lowest)/174 (current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
HI!~
For me I searched within myself. This was a major decision in my life at 29! I had just received my master's degree as a Nurse Practitioner, so I felt successful in many areas of my life except my health...I was on a BP/CHOLESTEROL meds as I had developed High BP, Severe Joint pain, High Cholesterol, I had a fatty liver....I KNEW for me Diabetes was a moment away....That scared me more than dying onthe table (I didn't want to be on dialysis, go blind, lose limbs,have a MI or stroke,lose my hair, become impotent etc...) it is a NASTY disease! For me I had done so much research I was at inner peace for myself sure I had preop jitters but overall I knew and turned over any anxiety I had (fear really). So for yourself have youmade the most educated and informed decision possible? Weighed the risks/benefits, are you going in impulsively or assured w/ this being well thought out? I posted this previously, maybe some will hep u! HUGS!
To assit in finding inner peace with your decision to have WLS consider YOUR CHOICE reflects the responsible, powerful masterful spirit that you are and you're ready to start creating miracles in your life. Taking some time to meditate, journal, pray, use positive affirmations http://www.dailyinspiringquotes.com/ or http://www.nawls.com/public/department27.cfm or here http://www.unityonline.org/pray_prayersaffirmations.htm etc on your decision. Writing all the reasons why this is your choice, what your expectations and goals are (*consider those beyond wt loss itself), what you are fearful of.
Those that have goals that are health focused and functionally focused do the best (vs. those that are scale or weight/number focused). I am such a firm believer in not allowing the scale (or hunkametal that it is) to rule or dictate ones life/thoughts/feelings any longer, I agree we want to lose wt but gaining our health and ability to function in life are far more important than any number the scale can read; otherwise if it never reads the number we think, others say, a chart suggests we fail and that is simply not true!!!
As I have said before in other forums: Most of our lives we have set RIGID, UNREALISTIC WEIGHT LOSS GOALS for ourselves that are BOTH UNATTAINABLE and CHRONICALLY DISAPPOINTING and lead to DEVASTATION & the slippery slope of self-sabotage...Review the UNDERLYING lifestyle change such as exercise, food choices, self-awareness/monitoring, avoidance of emotional eating, adherence to living self responsibly in a CONSISTENT way that is the foundation to our long-term success. For me I keep telling myself daily that***THE GOAL SHOULD NEVER BE A NUMBER***
Consider that happiness and success will NEVER EVER come from an external source (person, object, number on the scale). It can and will ONLY come from internal self-discovery and love. Listening to my BODY/Mind/Spirit/Heart now and though your journey can be most helpful. Many times we are so busy or do not find the 'me' time needed to really connect internally w/ ourselves. Anxiety is just fear in disguise, ask yourself what are you fearful of? The changes you will go through physically/emotionally/relationship wise, pain, dying, complications, loss of food, fear of failure? Write about them, get them out of your head, feel them....
The goals you write today and reasons may help now as well as down the road when a complication or stressor or plateau happens, it can recenter you within your self, helping you refcus on the nbig picture and choice you made, well aware of a few bumps in the road. Deciding to have surgery, beingas well informed and edcated as possible, having supports (in person groups, online, friends and family) to talk to to normalize and validate ourselves and journey is a key as well.
ONLY you know if this is the right thing at the right time for you, anxiety/fear is common and normal, consider embracing the feelings, they are only that feelings they have a beginning/middle/end and serve us well if we listen vs avoid/repress/stuff them. See this opportunity as one where you can grow. I was motivated but scared as well of dying..a hard decision but one I do not regret making....
I recommend you try to fill your mind with as much optimism and positive thinking
as possible! Basically, become more conscious of what you are thinking and feeling, and start preparing yourself to think of food and your life in a different way. This is a courageous step for you to take, and it's not just about weight changing -- it's about
life changing. This is why so many of us are challenged by the enormity of the decision.
http://www.livingafterwls.com/Library.html this site has many good articles for preop/postop! Checkit out periodically many good topics!!!
Maybe use postive thinking such as:
"I AM COMMITTED TO FACE AND RESOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF LIVING" (i.e. no longer be morbidly obese)
"MY SUCCESS DEPENDS UPON MY CHOICES AND MY BEHAVIOR IN THE PRESENT" (i.e. having the surgery, committing to a healthy lifestyle)
"ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENS IN MY LIFE, I CAN ALWAYS CONTROL MYSELF AND HOW I RESPOND TO WHAT HAPPENS" (i.e. complications but how I manage them if they happen is up to me).
THIS EMPOWERS YOU NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS!!!
YES THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT! It takes extraordinary courage to make the decision and live w/ the choices we make to consciously limit food choices for the rest of our lives (and potentially limit social opportunities built around meals) among all the other potential complications it can bring short or longterm....
There will be plenty of opportunities to grow/change in life as it can be one stressor/problem after another but deciding to keep on keeping on will always help! Hugs!
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! You are a warrior and worthy of this opportunity to change your life...Be well.
PS I will leave you with the Serenity Prayer! *I am taking by your original post this/prayer will not be offensive...
"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference."
Take Care,
Jamie
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163 (lowest)/174 (current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!" 
Sweetheart what you are feeling is totally normal and expected. When I went into my surgery I was 551 pounds and I was scared to death. Never had any kind of suegery in my life and my first one (gastric bypass) was a big one . As you are scared i was also. I was scared of not survivng the surgery. Theres nothing anyone can say to get rid of those fears but what i can tell you is what i did. I saw my decision to have the surgery as a life saver. The way i looked at it is this way ...If i was going to die because of my obesity at least i was going to die trying to correct it. I was 35 when i had my surgery and like you i knew i had plenty of life to live so imagine you at 23 you have way more life ahead of you. Even though i may still have lived without the surgery i asked myself what kind of life would it be having to depend on others to help me in my everyday life and dealing with illnesses caused by obesity. Like i said before there isnt any thing anyone can say to you to rid those fears out of your head but in my case i just left it in the hands of God and thought of it as me at least trying to better my life. As long as you weighed in all the pros and cons of the surgery and made the decision to change your lifestyle and not return to the ways that put you in this situation all you can really do is know you made the right choice. May god bless you in your journey. By the way i was 551 pounds 19 months ago and thanks to this surgery im down 216 pounds and i dont regret any of it.
Glenys: If you have prepared for the surgery by reading, researching and doing whatever requirements your surgeon required, then from a physical standpoint, you should be prepared. I know myself, by the time I had loss 10% of my body weight, gotten my cardio and physic clearances not to mention my PCP, I felt that I was in the best physical shape that I had been in many years. I also had complete confidence in my surgeon and the hospital which I was having it at. All that being said, I was completely at peace with my decision. It's normal to be scared - no body wants to die - but you need to be at peace with your decision and your team. I'm 7 weeks post-op and YES I remember at one point after surgery thinking "what the hell did I do?" I'm back to my old self again and still at peace with my decision.
You are in my thoughts and prayers and hoping you'll find that "peace" that will see you through.
Peggy
Hi there. First off congrats on your upcomming surgery. It is a very scary decision. It is normal to be nervous and confused. I remember feeling the same way as you right before my surgery, cried like a baby some nights before. But i have to tell you it was the best decision i ever made for myself and my family. Its great your family supports you because support is the most important thing. Good luck and we are here for you every step of the way.
LisaMarie
I am scheduled for 2-2-07 for my RNY also. It will be in Indianapolis. I know the feeling well. When I first started all this I was without any question at all. I had surgeries before for cancer. I would have died without the surgeries..... and I believe my days are numbered without the RNY. Seems like a no-brainer but I keep asking myself if I gave myself the most opportunity to do it "myself". The only answer I have is I am still struggling with weight and I have been for the better part of 44 years. I have probably lost at least a 1000 lbs off and on over the years. I have asked quite a few people who have had the surgery if they had and regrets.... they all say yes..... that they didn't do it ten years earlier. I have researched it all cerebrally, now it's time to act like I'm getting into a cold pool..... I'll just dive in. My only problem is when I had cancer the need for the surgery was painfully obvious, this time the enemy is alot more sneaky. I'll be praying for our healthier lives when our big day comes. Good luck
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