Learning to Trust

Ok maybe i have to much time on my hands again..Here goes another from the heart post. Just as I sit and review this past year, with all the changes I begin to wonder to myself who can I really trust? As you get thinner and more attractive people start to appear and re appear in your life. You have the doors held open for you, seats pulled out and constant smiles and hellos from people you have seen every day for your whole life and never smiled at you before. People call you and email you say WOW long time no see how about going out one day and catching up. So now who do you trust...Its so hard, i am the type of person who tries my hardest to see the best in people no matter what. I trust to easy and for this reason i get hurt often. So how do I let that guard down. How do i let people into my life that are not going to hurt me? I know life is about chance and youhave to go with your gutt but when my gutt was huge it was always wrong im afraid its worse now small lol...I dont know like i said to much time on m y hands these days. Its in my nature like i said to try to see the best in even the worst of people, but i get fooled easily... Anyway thanks for listenin to me ramble on........ ANd keep up the good work. LisaMarie

Hi LisaMarie - I understand your need for introspection on this topic, and want to thank you for putting your thoughts/concerns out there for us all to ponder. I'm with you...it's hard to know. The strangers that smile and skooch over a little bit so I can sit with them instead of spreading out as if to say "Don't even think about putting your big self down here" - I get those people. It's the folks that I've had contact with before AND after that are harder to understand...everything from the deli guy whose comments toward me are completely different, to more subtle things at work. I'm trying to keep in mind what I read somewhere else once...maybe it's me that's also changed. Maybe the way I put myself out there gets me noticed more, and more positively now. Hard to say. YOU keep up the good work, and fighting the good fight. Take care, Mary Mc

LM: I can share that I as well had gone/still go through these type of concerns. For me it is about body image, self esteem. The world is all about looks, that is reality. I get sad and angry about this. Because I fit the 'desired/norm' I am accepted, whereas I wasnt before my WLS. I can not change theworld I can only work on my self image and understanding my happiness comes from within. I am not just a number on the scale or what I look like, even if the world thinks so. Consider this quote: "A man who does not trust himself can never trust anyone else". For me I am a perfectionist, i try harer and harder to be perfect, thinking if I only do something right, look right or try harder all will be ok. Unfortunatley this comes w/ consequences. We make mistakes and are never pefect, which can cause internal issues...Losing wt was great but a challenge and burden more than nayone can know. Sadly we go into this thinking all our issues will disappear once we lose wt only to be sadly mistaken that they may not only not get beter they may get worse and now we can nt comfort or numb ourslf w food and realize the old faulty belief. All I can say is working through it helps w/ a therapist..It gets less challenging that way. I am only speaking for myself...The attention I got was nice, when I had plastics it was darn right uncomfortable, yeah I chose to have the LBL and breast augmentation for me, but the unwanted and unsoliceted attention I got shocked the morbidly obese inner child and scared the heck out of her, she resorted to using food again, and sadly regaining wt. I am challenged daily w/ these issues and battle them winning at times and falling down at others. For me I can no longer be paralyzed wondering if each decision is perfect (what to do who to tust etc), I use my best jugment and learn and grow from any mistakes. For me there is no compassion w/o pain there is no growth w/o mistakes, there is no love w/o pain....Be well in fighting your demons, we are warriors to get this far, we deserve the investment in ourselves to heal, heal theinner wounded child and use our strong and wise and healthy adult to protect that child, life is an adventure if you choose. I believe we are sttrong and can stop being victims, stop only surviving to thrive and grow! HUGS dear Consider listening to your self, your true emotions, we all truggle with listening to ourselves. Our body know and will always tell us what it needs! Releasing old guilty and shameful feelings, the anger, sadness, loneliness the fear the joy etc helps!Take Care, Jamie 100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY 320(preop)/163 (lowest)/174 (current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/ "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"