New here - I need some help.

Hello;

I'm new to these forums, and relatively new to obesity in general. Today, I am heavier than I've ever been. Tomorrow, I'll be heavier. And again and again day after day. I'm considering the sleeve surgery (VSG).

My problem is I have never once stopped gaining weight. I gain at least a pound a month, no matter what I do - no matter what exercise, or diet, I partake in. I don't mind being overweight; I eat like a chubby person. But my weight just keeps going up! If I eat nothing but lean fish and veggies, I gain a pound. If I eat pasta and cheese, I gain a pound. No matter what. I know this sounds psychotic, but it's true. I have not stopped gaining weight in eight years. I used to hike, bike, run, ski, and kayak. Now I can't do any of those things... but it doesn't matter, because I'm still gaining that same multiple pounds per year.

I don't drink sodas or fruit juices or Starbucks milkshakes. I don't have a sweet tooth, and really don't care for desserts. I don't eat junk food because I love to cook (if it comes in a package with HFCS, I don't enjoy it). I haven't eaten fast food in over fifteen years.

In spite of all this, I don't eat _well_; I love pasta and cheese. I eat like an overweight person, and I'm okay with that. Food is awesome. I will always try a few bites of anything. I counted calories for a few weeks and came out around 2200. Too much? Yes. But I'm now morbidly obese, and STILL gaining. Based on my weight and the amount of caloric intake I have, 2200 calories per day should actually see me losing a pound each month.

I will of course be talking with a nutritionist soon. But has anyone else had experience with this? I have a few questions:

1. What could cause continual slow weight gain forever?

2. Would I even benefit from surgery, given this continual gain?

I think counting calories helps as a side-effect of recording everything we put into our mouths, meticulously measuring it.  It's the measuring of every bite, taste, and drop that matters.  I think it was Gwen or ****roGirl here who gave me this advice, and it has proven to be 100% accurate.  Measuring is better than calorie counting any day of the week.  Obviously watch your calories, but that's truly what gives us an accurate calorie count to begin with.  And I do mean every bite/piece of pasta/lick of chocolate. 

When I counted calories just eyeballing stuff I routinely underestimated food and portions.  Additionally, many restaurant foods have hidden calories.  You pretty much answered your question why you are gaining wait: "I eat like an overweight person, and I'm okay with that."  You are eating more calories than your body is using, and that is why you are gaining weight.  

It is a hard truth for those of us who are morbidly obese.  I lost 350 pounds on my own doing a ketogenic paleo-type of diet.  As soon as I decided to eat a bite of "this and that" I gained tremendously.  The process of weight loss surgery forces you to take a magnifying glass to what you eat.  If you weigh and record literally everything that goes into your mouth I would be willing to bet that you are well-over 2200 calories.  Pretty much everyone one of us finds this out.

You also will be eating much lower carb.  Lower carbohydrate diets flush glycogen water retention and suppress hunger.  It also means no pasta for a very long time.  I don't eat several foods I loved, and, while I miss them sometimes, I enjoy my increased mobility that I have even with the paltry 22 pounds or so I've lost this new in the process.

The continual gain will stop post-surgery if you follow your surgeon and nutritionist's directives to the letter.  That means very likely no more of the foods you love eating in significant (or any) quantities. I was stuck at 409-420 for a year.  I have lost over 22 pounds since July 1st or so due to adhering to the surgical process.  It works, but it only because I do what they say to the letter.

It is true that surgery like the DS "reboots" your metabolism and we don't quite understand why.  It could possibly be unintentional overeating with a metabolic issue.  However, I have no thyroid (I've an autoimmune thyroid disorder which killed mine) and even unmedicated I lost quite a lot of weight.  

Food will almost always be the cure or the poison; it's the dose that determines either.

First of all, I want to thank you as much as I can through a keyboard. Your reply helped me tremendously. I've been sitting here feeling awful - alone, angry, and just generally miserable. I haven't spoken about this to any of my loved ones yet and I'm not sure how to broach the topic.

I keep coming back to the fact that I just don't understand it. Sure, I need to eat less and exercise more... but, again, I am not sedentary and I don't eat crap. Everyone looks at me now and assumes I eat terrible **** I used to be very, very skinny... and I can definitely tell a huge difference in how people treat me. I haven't changed my eating habits much since I was underweight - that's the thing that blows my mind. I love to cook; I love to make fresh food. If food has a bar code on it, I feel like I'm doing it wrong. I eat too much... but is it really this much? Really?

Everyone judges me now. Having been extremely skinny and now morbidly obese, I am shocked at the difference in how people judge me. A doctor I saw for an unrelated problem sneered that I "needed to cut out the cheesecake, or at least eat less of it." A guy in the grocery store laughed at me for buying a container of ice cream - which I brought to a party, and didn't eat any of (I really, really, really do not have a sweet tooth).

I'm still sorting out a lot of thoughts right now, and some of them are falling out of my fingers. Consider this a stream-of-consciousness. Any anger is directed solely at myself and my misunderstanding of this whole new world of morbid obesity I've slowly woken up to. A doc told me I get another ten good years, then ten years of diabetic slowdeath. Eight years ago I weighed under a hundred pounds. And today I can't even walk without gasping in pain.

Thanks to your message, though, I've started keeping a food diary. If, after a week of being under 1600 calories per day (along with walking 3-4 miles every other day), I gain another pound - which has happened before - I honestly don't know what the hell I am going to do.

I can't be a miracle of science; I can't gain weight without taking in calories. I know that. I know. I just don't know where they're coming from and I'm at my wits' end. To have everyone assume I got this way because I am lazy, or stupid, or I clearly eat a breakfast of ice cream covered twinkies with butter on top.

Anyway. I apologize for my rambling note here, but finding this board - and reading your reply - is like manna in the desert. Thank you.

You can have pasta again in moderation too, if you choose, eventually, though many of us with the VSG at least seem to stay somewhat low carb.  I haven't reached maintenance yet and shan't for a long time so I can't really speak there.

This is something we all go through.  I appreciate your thanks, but I had to get this same advice too from someone here and from my counselor.  Believe me when I say I have made lots of food mistakes in the past.  The truth is that any weight loss is more mental than anything.  It will not be easy, but whether you get surgery or not, you can definitely make changes that will help you.  Just don't forget that there are people who will support you no matter what you decide.  There are tons of great support groups.

Also, I have a foodscale that I've broken out again. I'm weighing everything down to the capers I use.

Man... you're right about everything. I'm going to have to stop eating pasta. Oh, how I will miss pasta.