I kinda binged yesterday

So this is my public confession to help keep me accountable:

I'm 7 months out and I'm doing fine...but yesterday I kinda binged. 

The "kinda" meaning I didn't stuff myself with a box of cookies in one sitting, but I *did* eat about 6 pieces of cinnamon raisin bread during the day (deliciious, I may add) and a bunch of SF popsicles and who knows what else.  And...I don't know, I was just munchy/ravenous!  I couldn't seem to get enough in to satisy me. 

This is the first time I felt oiut of control in terms of not being able to stop -- I mean, not feeling strong enough to stop.  Did I really need that bread?  Nope.  And my little pouch didn't seem to care one way or the other.  Such a mental game, this is.  

But I don't want to fail.  I'm at the size I want to be (and shrinking, I think, despite the binge yesterday).  I think doing a food diary this week will help get me more in control, something I clearly need. 

(I' m also wondering what is bringing this on!  I started my exercise program again (4x a week) this past week.  Or maybe it's PMS -- I'm due next week!?  Or non PMS?  I feel like I'm having hot flashes!!!)         

Uuughh, I hate those days.

I have my own version, where I just keep eating one small thing, then a different thing, then something else,  every hour. It's not even like it adds up to that much, they are usually very small things, a tangerine, a piece of cheese, a handfull of nuts, all small things, (knock on wood), but non-stop, I can't seem to feel satisfied for more than a few minutes.  I just can't stand it when I'm eating and I'm not in control. And that's where I really thank god for this surgery, because the difference is that pre-WLS I had those sucky days too, but each one of those hourly "snacks" would be more like a small meal.

I should start putting in disclaimers, I'm pimping fitday.com so hard. It's awsome for tracking, particularly for someone like me, who spends most of her work day by a computer. Honestly, they're not kicking me back anything, I just think it's brilliantly easy for journaling my eating, and they even have a place to note your feelings each day if you want to, so that over time, you can go back to other "eat it all" days and look at your emotional patterns.

I know it's kind of obvious, but I have a very predictable overeating pattern in the 3 or 4 days before my period. Still, it helps to be aware of that, takes some of the scary out of those days, because I'm afraid of failing, too...

Were you a binger before surgery?  You need to know that statistically if you are a binge eater, you will have a tough time compared to others for keeping your weight loss.  You definitely should consider therapy or a program that deals with this as your binge eating will not go away.

How hare are you working at your exercise program?  If you are working too hard, (in zone 4/5 of your target heart rate) then it could make you hungry.

Dawn