How do I get back to using my surgery correctly?

Ok, this might seem like a silly question but I had the RNY 8 years ago, my husband had his 10 years ago and although I am only about 15 pounds away from my goal weight (after 2 kids) my husband is up about 80 pounds.  He has decided against a revision.  I eat a lot of junk, and he does as well. Although we both get dumping from too much sugar we both know how to push the limits.  He drinks soda, full sugar, occasionally and really doesn't like anything with splenda or any artificial sweetner.  I know obviously, I should be not grazing so much and cut out the sweets etc. but could you post roughly at 8-10 years out how much we should be eating , and all the major rules about protein etc.  I know we shouldn't drink with our meals but how long do we have to wait after? Are we supposed to stop drinking before meals for a certain time period?  Thanks so much for your advice.  Also if there is anyone out there who has any ideas about sweets without a lot of sugar but without sweetner I would really appreciate it.  

Not to be too harsh - but you know what you're supposed to do and you are looking for alternatives so that you can continue with the bad eating habits you have.  You and your husband should be supporting each other and helping each other to do the right thing.  Right, I know you can't make another person change their behavior.  You can model good behavior, encourage good behavior, and reward good behavior At 8 years out , you should be eating a diet of whole foods, lots of fruits and vegetables, NONE or very occasionally eating junky food.  You should eat 3 meals a day (or 5 small meals if you prefer).  You should not snack.  You should not drink your calories.  You should not drink with your meals (wait 30 minutes).  You should limit your portions - you may be able to eat normal sized portions at this point.  Your diet should still focus first on protein, then on carbs.  Your carbs should contain nutrients (vitamins and minerals), fiber, and limited amounts of sugar.  You should have cake and treats on special occasions - these are not bad foods, but if you eat them every day, that is a bad habit! To know how many calories you should have - for a week, keep a diary of exactly what you eat.  Put this information into a tracker.  Look at your average intake - are you losing? gaining? staying the same?  If you want to lose subtract 300-500 calories from your total intake each day.  If you want to gain, add in 300 to 500 calories a day.  If you want to stay the same - don't change anything. Try and remember back to what was going on when you first decided to have surgery.  What were you eating and how much.  You can eat past the RNY or any other WLS - over time.  The statistics show a whole lot of people who end up right back where they started before WLS.  The biggest reason is that they did not change their eating and they did not change their lifestyle.  It's up to you - I'm not going to walk around behind you and slap the cookies out of your hand. I wish you the best of luck! Danielle Halewijn RD eNutritioncare.com

Its your choice.....I'm sure you know what you need to do with most of this, but I do have to say the best sweets are good old fruits and this time of year, they are absolutely wonderful.  I know its hard not to get into the sugar.... but the choice is yours to make.  Is sugar worth the cost... for me (today at least) I am more interested in being healthy and of a normal size than I am in eating sugar laden foods.  And no matter how much you love one another, the truth is you're helping one another sabotage their health!!! I really hope you can get a handle on it..... its a terrible battle that I fought for over 60 years before I had my surgery.  I can't believe how much better (and younger) I feel now and I still have a LONG way to go to reach goal. Sending you encouraging hugs!!!