Scared Myself Today

Today I went on an outing and BBQ for work.  All I could think about was dinner.  I knew we were having hotdogs and hamburgers, potato and pasta salad and dessert.

I spent a good portion of the hour before dinner trying to distract myself so I wouldn't think about the food.  It didn't work.

I should mention that I'm 3 months out of VGS surgery.  Anyway, I made some wise choices... small dessert plate, no bread, no pasta salad and no dessert.  BUT I had 1/4c potato salad a hamburger patty (not real hamburger) and 2 hotdogs...I totally freaked myself out... I was way over stuffed and I and ate it anyway.  I am sooo disappointed in myself... I thought I was past this.

I've really been struggling with head hunger this week and eating so much more than I thought I could.  I've lost 45lbs and I'm very active... walking, running, strength training...etc... I usually stall at 30 - 40 pound weight loss and I'm totally freaking that I won't lose anymore. 

I was suppose to see Diana yesterday but I couldn't make the appointment so I'm going to call her tomorrow. 

I was wondering if anybody else has experienced this.  This is my 1st road block and frankly I don't feel the self control I had even a couple of weeks ago.

Just needed to vent... hope to hear from someone.

Sherry

Hi there,

Just wondering how long of a wait you had for your surgery (from the time your GP sent in your referral)?

Hi,

Realistically speaking 10 years... but I was one of the lucky ones... Diana called me in October and told me I was one of 100 people chosen out of 1500.

I went to my first meeting (Oct 30) and had surgery April 15th... I was orginally booked gor March 31 but it was postponed 2 times.

I found this quote today through a friend dealing with some personal issues of her own (not related to weight) and I thought it was so fitting for the struggling that we're ALL going through - especially those of you lucky enough to have alraedy had your surgery.

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." Maria Robinson

I wish you all the best with this. Head hunger is one of the things I'm most worried about if I am lucky enough to be able to have the vertical sleeve done. Hell, I've got head hunger NOW. *sigh* It's so hard to tell myself, OMG you do NOT need to eat that, you had more than enough already when in my head I'm thinking, I'M STARVING! *ugh* 

Best of luck!

Excellent quote, thanks for sharing, as it really does fit us all.  I think the head hunger comes mostly with having to socialize with food, as there is so much choice, now it's up to us to make the best choice possible.

I was at a BBQ on Saturday, they roasted a pig on a spitt, my Serbian friends are really into food of all sorts, so there was no lack of anything, including alcohol.  So I walked around the back yard with my bowl of seafood chowder (about 3/4 cup) and had trouble finishing it.  Then I sat with a plate of a few veggies and pork, next to my husband (this was pre-planned) and I nibbled on my plate, he ate his and the rest of mine and we just chatted with others.  No one even noticed.  When it came time for dessert I was already full so it was easy to say no thanks.  I'm getting better with the public outings, it's having friends over to eat that's still a bit of a struggle.

We can do this girls, we've made the conscious decision to improve on our physical health and with that comes our mental health, which when it comes to food we need to be mindful and work hard on, but we also need to cut ourselves some slack.  This is not a quick fix, one step and one day at a time.

Stay strong my friends, keep up the great work.

Nadine